Shattered Past
by TurtleXing
Summary: In Brocken Glass, everyone thought that the story ended for good. This is the sequel about what happened to Sarah and Andreas and a few other people they met along the way.
1. Chapter 1

This is the Sequel to Broken Glass. It's the story of what happened to Sarah and Andreas. Please review with any changes you think i should make! They are greatly appreciated!

**Chapter 1**

When mama and papa told us of Llana and Nathan's death, I didn't want to believe them. I couldn't. I refused to believe that God would allow me, a Jew in love with a Nazi, survive while my dear brother and Llana perished into death's cloud. How could two young people with so much life to live, die?

From the moment Hannah and I stepped off the train and into Oskar Schindler's factory, I knew that something wasn't right. I always felt that not in my stomach telling me that something was terribly wrong back home. I so badly wanted to go up to Oskar Schindler, myself, and ask him if he could send me home. But then I thought about Hannah. She was so young, and she needed me. So many children had been slaughtered by the Nazis already so I counted my blessings that she had been spared, unintentionally. During the first roll call, Hannah never let go of my waist for a second. I held her close to me, afraid that at any moment, she would be ripped from my arms like I had seen so many times before. But then he came out. Oskar Schindler, dressed in his finest clothing, strode out and stood on a wooden platform in front of us all and raised his hands in the air. I lifted up Hannah into my arms so she could see him.

"Who is that, Sarah?" Hannah wrapped her frail arms around my neck and snuggled her tiny face into my shoulder. I patted her back gently.

"That's the boss of the factory we'll be working in. He'll take care of us" I said, craning my neck above the crowd to get a better glimpse at him. I wanted to get a better look at what was going one, so I slowly pushed my way closer to the front of the crowd.

"Excuse, me" I said to the people that I might have stepped on or shoved, but I really needed to see Oskar Schindler and hear what he was saying. "Sorry." I tread on the foot of a short, fat man, dressed in old, woolen clothing. His face turned red with anger. I didn't understand why he got so upset. It wasn't as if I had stepped on it hard enough to break his foot.

"Stupid girl!" the man spat out. Oskar Schindler had turned his attention to some men in uniforms behind him and the crowd was getting anxious again, talking and crying out to one another. The fat man grabbed my elbow in his chubby fingers and pulled me closer to him. "Are you not going to clean them?" He pointed to his shoes like I had actually made them look even worse then they already were.

"I'm sorry, Sir." I apologized and turned to leave, not about to bend down and clean off his already filthy shoes with Hanna in my arms. His hand was still gripping my elbow. I tried shaking him off but he was furious with me, yelling and cursing. Hannah started to cry. That's when I got angry with him. In one quick motion, I slapped the man's face with my hand as hard as I could. The sound seemed to echo through out the crowd, for as soon as I did people around me turned and stared at me. The man instantly let go of my elbow and shuffled away into the crowd. My hand burned from the impact with his bristly face.

I spun around on my heals, turning around when I was face to face with yet another man. He was only a little taller than me, so our faces were pretty close.

"Sorry" he said in a Polish accent much like mine. "But you dropped this" he held out my necklace in his hand. It was the one Andreas had given to me back in the ghetto. I let out a quiet gasp and snatched it out of his hand. How had it fallen off my neck with me not noticing it?

"Thank you so much, Sir." I didn't know why I had called him Sir. He didn't look much older than myself. I carefully place the necklace deep inside my pocket and continued my adventure of filing through the thick crowd towards Oskar Schindler.

"I'm scared, Sarah." I turned towards Hannah. She had her arms tightly wound around my neck as if she was going to be taken away from me.

"Hannah listen to me. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise that I will never leave you." The crowd around us grew quiet as Oskar Schindler silenced us. He stood with his arms down and a small, confident smile fell across his lips.

"Excuse me. Every one stay calm. You are at my factory, in Krakow, where you will work for me…not the Nazis. You are safe here." Safe. The word stuck to everyone's brains like bubble gum. I searched the crowd for anyone I knew. But everyone's faces looked the same. Gaunt, desperate, scared.

Hannah and I were assigned to the same job which I was pleased at. I couldn't let her work by herself all day. We both worked in the pottery building, melting steel into pots. Pot after pot after pot we heated under a flame and molded into a pan. I managed to get Hannah some gloves that fit her small hands. But I had to admit, the sanitary conditions and staff were much more friendlier than that in the ghetto.

After about three weeks of working at Oskar Schindler's factory, both Hannah and I were summoned to the administrations building. I went cold with the news. People only went to these buildings either to be deported of shot. But he said we were safe here.

"Where are we going, Sarah?" Hannah held my hand and trotted along beside me. Her golden hair fell in tangles around her face as she stared at the ground walking beside me.

I wiped my nose on my sleeve of my dress and looked down at her. "Oskar Schindler wants to speak with us."

"About what?"

"Uh, I don't know, but it's probably news about mama or papa or Nathan and Llana." Her face brightened up at their names, making my heart swell. Her browns eyes sparked with excitement as she held my hand tight and pulled me faster towards the office buildings.

"Come on then, Sarah! We have to hurry. You don't want to keep him waiting, do you?" I began to pick up speed as we entered the front doors to the building. The smell of cigarette smoked and cologne filled my lungs causing me to cough. I picked up Hannah and walked towards the front office desk and said our names to the receptionist. She was a young, beautiful woman with dark brown hair that reached her shoulders. Her eyes looked tired but I could tell by the sound of her face that she was a very, or used to be, a very friendly person.

"Sarah and Hannah Simberstein. I believe that Mr. Schindler wants to see us?" My voice was raspy and tired sounding.

"Oh, yes. Just go up the stairs and into the first office to your right. And knock before you enter."

We reached the office and I tapped lightly on the glass window framed door. A heard a shuffling from inside and a chair scraping across the floor. Then, to both of our great surprise, Oskar Schindler himself opened the door.

"Good after noon, girls. Come in." I set down Hannah and held her hand. I gave her a reassuring smile, easing the fear in her eyes.

"You wanted to see…" Standing in front of Hannah and I were none other but mama and papa. They looked so different. They both looked as if they hadn't showered in years. Papa's beard was longer than usual and mama's hair needed a good washing. But it didn't matter because I was able to see the real them underneath all their pain and torment. They were still the beautiful couple I had known my entire life.

All five of us just stood there for a minute in total silence until mama let out a wail and ran to us. Hannah and I met them half way. Everyone was crying. I clung myself tightly to mama and papa, never wanting to let go. Papa patted my head gently and whispered comforting words into my ear. I hugged him tightly while mama and Hannah embraced. When it came my turn, mama took my face in her hands and kissed my cheeks. I was crying so hard as she held me tightly. Then I realized something. Someone was not here. There was a moment or two that passed until I realized who was missing. That cold sweat that washes over a person when they're scared or worried flushed all the joy and energy from my body.

"Where's Nathan and Llana?" Mama sighed and put a hand to her mouth. Her fingers were trembling as she tried to keep her composure under control. Strands of her brown hair fell in front of her face as she breathed in heavily. My face grew hot and my stomach flopped over like a dead fish. I knew what she was trying to say. Papa put a gentle hand on her shoulder and stepped forward.

"They didn't make it, Sarah" he said in a dead pan tone. Mama buried her face in her hands and cried silently, gently rocking back and forth. Hannah went over and put her tiny arms around mama's waist and cried with her. Stun and shock were the only things keeping me from falling into a puddle on the ground. My breathing grew heavier and louder. Papa reached out a hand to me but on impulse I yanked my body away. I started to panic and whimper in sadness. I knew that papa understood and backed away slowly, putting his arm around mama and Hannah. I trembled with shock. My dear brother and best friend Llana were dead.

Oskar Schindler broke the deadly silence. He walked over to us and put his hand on my papa's shoulder and whispered something encouraging into his ear. I tried breathing threw my nose in slower, deeper breaths to stop the walls from spinning but it wasn't helping my dizziness at all.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." Oskar Schindler bowed his head and looked at me. My eyes were wide open and I felt that lump in my throat growing bigger and bigger. "But I want you to know that your parents are working for me now. You won't have to be separated any longer."

"Oh, God" I breathed out. I fell backwards slightly, catching my fall on a desk chair. "Oh my God." I let out a strange cry that arose in my throat. It sounded like a growl but much more sorrowful than one. I darted my eyes around the room until I decided that I couldn't stay in this office any longer. I ran to the door and threw it open causing the wood to crash against the wall with a loud CRASH!

Running down the hallway seemed to take forever. My shoes slapped against the marble floor under me as I came to a sudden stop, sliding and almost falling on the floor. Everyone was looking at me with the same pitiful expression. I picked up speed again, racing myself out the office doors and into the main road that connected to the factory.

To my great surprise, it began snowing as soon as I stepped outside. Cold, wet snowflakes clung to my body, face, lips, eyelashes. I began wailing again, slumping to the ground. Nothing had gone right in my life. Ever since the war, everything I thought was safe really wasn't. I had lost almost everything in my life. My house, my family, my friends, Andreas, and now my dear brother and best friend Llana.

A few minutes passed by when I heard footsteps crunching snow behind me. I turned around to see papa walking towards me with a blanket in his arms. Without saying a word, he carefully draped the woolen blanket over my shaking shoulders. He sat down next to me, still none of us daring to utter a single syllable and raised his arm to put around my shoulder. But it seemed like he thought about what I did last time he tried to comfort me in the office and slowly let his arm drop to the ground beside him. With a painful cry, I leapt into my papa's arms and held onto him tightly, crying and yelling. He held me tight, also crying. This was the first time I had seen papa crying since the time that Nathan was selected out of the ghetto.

"Papa! Oh, God! Why papa? What have Nathan and Llana ever done to deserve what they got?" My body trembled with sorrow in my papa's arms. "It hurts so bad, papa" I cried.

"I know it hurts, Sarah. But I know for a fact that Nathan and Llana are looking down from heaven on us at this very moment." He took in a deep breath and lifted my chin up to him. "Don't be afraid, my daughter." I hooked my arms under his and dig my face into his woolen jacket. "Those evil Nazis will all get what they deserve in the end." _**Nazis**_. The word clung to my mind. I needed to tell papa about Andreas. I wanted to get everything out in the open with my parents now that we were together again, that way we all would be able to make a fresh start.

"Papa, I need to tell you something." I lifted my eyes to his and began to tell my entire story about how I met Andreas, how we grew to love one another, and how I had snuck out of our house to see him for so many nights. The entire time I spoke, papa listened to every word I spoke, nodding his head and even smiling at some parts. Snow began to build up around us, but it looked as if neither one of us cared. When I finished, I was worn out and made it a point not to look into my father's eyes from the fear of seeing his reaction. But to my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"Sarah, Andreas was the boy who helped your mama and I escape. He tried getting Llana and Nathan out but…" he paused for a moment. "I know him and I just wanted you to know that I trust him too." I smiled at my papa and hugged him. "But come now, Sarah. We really need to get inside before you catch a cold like." Papa helped me up and wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders as we walked back to our housing barrack. This was going to be a long night.

_Thank you so much to everyone who read my first FanFic -Finding Love During the Holocaust-which has now been renamed to Broken Glass. I like that title much more than the first one. Please don't hesitate to offer me any suggestions to what i need to edit in this story! Thank you so much and have a great week everyone! -TwilightGirl14 _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Having mama and papa with us now made things a little easier. But even with them here, I was depressed the entire day. I worked in a daze, not listening to anyone or talking. I barely ate anything either. Memories of my brother and Llana played through my mind all day. I thought about each stupid fight Nathan and I had fought over and how silly each one was. I thought about the time Llana had saved my life from a beating I had received by a group of SS guards for not walking in the street.

Even with mama, papa, and Hannah back with me and knowing what happened to Nathan and Llana, there was still something missing in my life. Something I needed and loved more than my own life.

I needed Andreas…

I needed to know that he was ok. I needed to know that I still had a chance to love again in this painful world and I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life making pots and pans. I knew that he was still alive out there, somewhere. I had to find him and I had to know what went wrong. What happened the night Nathan and Llana tried to escape? What if…

"Ah!" I dropped the steaming hot pot on the ground by my feet. My thoughts had distracted me from my job and I had absent mindedly picked it up without gloves. "STUPID POTS!" I yelled. I stuck my blistering finger in my mouth and tried to stop the stinging pain.

"Here. Take my gloves." Standing beside me was a young woman, I guessed to be around my age, holding out a pair of thick work gloves.

"Oh, no thank you. I have a pair. I just let my mind slip away for a moment."

"I know what you mean. That happens a lot to myself." The girl smiled at me, revealing a set of dazzling white teeth. She was pretty beautiful for a worker in a labor camp. It had been a while since I had seen beauty in my life. She wore a simple green dress and oversized, brown, boots with the laces untied. I let my eyes fall on her face again. She had short, shoulder length, black hair and the cutest dimples I had ever seen. "I'm Omah Bristow." She held out her hand to me.

"I'm Sarah Simberstein." I carefully shook her rough hand in mine. Both of us started laughing quietly to ourselves at the fact that we were bothering to introduce ourselves at such a time. Omah decided to stay at my station and help me melt the pots and mold them into their proper shape. I didn't mind. It was nice to have someone to talk to again. Someone that knew where you were coming from and knew how you felt at some topics.

"So how long have you been here?" I passed my melted pot carefully over to her.

"Six weeks" I answered. "And you?"

"Um, it will be around three months this week." She placed the steaming metal into the machine that cuts it into a circle.

"Are you by yourself?" I knew that it wasn't very polite to ask her this question, especially from the fact that I had only just met her an hour ago, but there was something about Omah that interested me.

"Yes" she said quietly. "I came here with my mother, but she was very ill when we first arrived." I stopped working for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to loose someone you love." Omah turned to me and smiled, slightly.

"So, on a less depressing note, are you married? I mean you sure are beautiful enough to be married." I was touched by what she said but at the same time I was stunned at her question. I was only seventeen.

"Married?" I shook my head. "No, I'm only seventeen."

"So am I. But my mother was married even younger than us, so I wouldn't find it odd if you were." She playfully poked my stomach. "So do you fancy anyone in particular?" I laughed to myself and then fell silent.

"Well, actually yes. We were, are, in love." She nodded her head and listened to every word I spoke as if it were a fountain of gold spewing from my mouth. "His name is Andreas."

"Where is he now?" I could tell that she sensed my sadness from the fact that she gently placed her hand on my shoulder. I lowered my head and swallowed the lump in my throat that threatened to burst.

"I don't know. We were separated back in the ghetto and I haven't heard from him since." I debated whether or not I should have told Omah about the fact that he was a Nazi. I decided that it was best if I didn't. That could start some big problems that I just didn't need in my life right now. "He was everything to me. I miss him so much." Omah sighed to herself and got back to work.

"Those damn Nazis. Look what they have done to us. Look at how much suffering they have put us through." She was furious now. "I hate all Nazis just as much as they hate us. I wish all of them were dead right now and I wish that I can be the one to do it."

I bit my tongue until I tasted blood. I couldn't blame Omah for the things she said about the Nazis because I felt the same. But if only she knew about Andreas and the person he really is. He put his life at risk for people he didn't even know just so they could escape. Three families are safe now because of him and his courage.

"Anyways, tell me more about your family. They sound idyllic." I smiled and told her all about mama, papa, Hannah, Nathan and of course Llana.

"My brother, well all of us, fell in love with Llana from the moment we saw her. We were assigned the same housing in the ghetto. She was living with her parents friend, Matthew, ever since they died when she was younger." I smiled to myself. "Matthew was the best father figure that girl could possibly have. He was always looking out for her and was always trying to give her a better chance at life."

"He sounds wonderful" Omah whispered.

"Oh, he was. He…" I didn't want to bring up Nathan again, but I had to. "Matthew and my brother were selected during one of the first selections they had in the ghetto. Matthew was able to sneak my brother out of the cattle car before it started moving." I sighed. "Not himself though. There wasn't enough time."

The days were getting longer and longer. Every day, mama, papa, Hannah and I would wake up early in the morning and head off to work. Mama and papa worked in the ammunitions factory. They told me that two days ago, Oskar Schindler walked up to his assistant in the factory and told him how "unpleased he would be if a single bullet would be able to be fire out of a Nazi gun" after his assistant told him that all the bullet making machines had been tampered with, causing the bullets to be made two sizes too big for the guns the Nazis owned.

But at the end of each day, when we were ordered to go back to our barracks, I would think about Andreas. I thought of him every second of every day but it was so hard to keep from breaking apart at night. One night, I thought about the time we first met. I was walking alone, after curfew, one night when he spotted me.

_"What are you doing out this late?" I heard his voice from behind me. I should've been scared but for some reason, I wasn't. I calmly stopped walking and turned around to face him. At first I couldn't see his face because of the fact he was shining a bright flash light in my eyes. After a few seconds, he lowered the flash light slowly and looked at me. He was the most handsome boy I had ever seen in my life. The Nazi uniform he wore had no usual affect towards me. All I could see was his face and amazing hazel eyes. _

_"I was just out for a walk. It gets pretty" I struggled to keep up the flow of words, "pretty claustrophobic in those tiny houses we've been assigned to." A few moments went by until he spoke. I couldn't guess why he kept staring into my eyes the way he did. It was like he was trying to decipher if I was an actual person or not. _

_"You could get into so much trouble if they caught you out at this time." His arms dropped to his sides. _

_"They already have" I answered, staring straight into his eyes. _

I snapped back into reality and present time. I was no longer standing in the middle of the ghetto, facing Andreas anymore. I was alone and heart broken.

"Andreas" I moaned out. I curled my knees under me and cried, big, heavy sobs. I shuddered and wailed as quietly as I could. My chest hurt. My eyes burned from crying. My heart was breaking. "ANDREAS!" I screamed. Some of the women in the barrack awoke with a start and scolded me for yelling and crying too loudly. Mama sat up with Hannah cuddled up close beside her. Both knew the reason for why I was crying and thought it best if they just left me too it. I was grateful for that as they laid back down and fell asleep.

I was surprised to find out that Omah wasn't at our usual station the next morning. My chest still ached but I tried not to let out how much pain I was in to anyone.

Hannah had gotten sick with a cold and was sent to the infirmary, leaving me all alone to work. I wasn't even assigned another partner, which scared me. I started worrying about Omah as the hours went by. She was my best friend at this camp. The two of us had grown so close in our time spent together. She even was able to switch her job assignment to work with me full time. She was the only person that I told my thoughts to. I needed her.

I was just in the middle of molding my one thousandth pot when a young man came walking towards my station, holding a pair of gloves in his hand. When he got closer, I could tell that he looked familiar. Then it hit me, he was the young man who gave me back my necklace when Hannah and I first arrived months ago.

"Hello. My name is Elijah. I've just been assigned to take over Omah's position here." My stomach flopped.

"Where's Omah? Is she alright? What happened to her?" I stopped what I was doing immediately, dropping the steel pot in my hands with a loud _bang!_

"She's fine, miss." He held up his hands defensively, as if I looked like I was going to attack him if I didn't get any answers. A small smile unfolded across his mouth. "It's actually good news. Her brother, whom she thought was dead just arrived here and she's working with him now." I frowned. I was glad that Omah had found some family, but selfishly wished she was still my partner at work. Now I was forced to work with a complete stranger again. Figures, just when I start making friends they leave me.

"She told me to tell you that she's so sorry to leave you, but will visit you very soon." He looked genuinely concerned with our situation. I could tell by the way he tilted his head to me and stared into my eyes. I had to look away. I didn't want him to know that the tears were on their way. It would make me seem incredibly selfish if he did.

"So, I'm guessing that you could use a little help?" Elijah gestured to the pile of poorly made pots beside me on the ground. I bit my lower lip in embarrassment and tried to awkwardly shield the pathetic pile with my body.

"It's a lot harder than it looks" I mumbled. "Do you know how to do it?" I looked sideways at him. My jaw began sliding down as I got a good look at him, taking I all his features. His short, cropped, dark brown hair, his green eyes that seemed to pierce through my heart, his perfect jaw, muscular build…

I snapped my jaw closed again when he saw me looking at him. He chuckled quietly to himself and shrugged his shoulders, looking like he wasn't telling me something.

"I haven't worked at these machines before. Your going to have to show me how to do it." I blinked hard, snapping myself back to reality. Had he never worked a machine before? "And by the way, I'm very flattered but I must tell you that I'm gay and not really thinking about switching over. "

"Oh!" As soon as he said this, my entire chain of thoughts came to a sudden stop. This literally hit me like a bag of bricks to the stomach with amazement. He was quite handsome but I would never expect him to be gay. "I've never met a gay man before."

He laughed a throaty laugh. He rested his hands on his hips. "Well, I'm pleased that I could be your first." A huge smile broke out across his face, making me warm and relaxed all over. "Us homosexuals, as many people call us, tend to flock together." The both of us laughed. It was the first time I had laughed in a while and I liked the way it made me feel.

"This might sound weird, but thank God that you are gay." I turned around to him and smiled, letting out a sigh of relief. The last thing I needed was another distraction to my messed up life.

"I like you, Sarah." Elijah worked as he talked. "I'm really glad I've met you. I don't have many friends here that I can talk to." I noticed that whenever Elijah smiled, adorable dimples formed on his cheeks.

"You don't?"

"Well, most people here don't talk to homosexuals. It's like they're afraid I'll pass it on to them or something." He shook his head in confusion as he gently slammed down the cutting machine on a piece of steel, slicing it into a perfect circle. His nimble fingers glided flawlessly over the metal.

"That's so ridiculous."

"Ridiculous but true, Sarah. I was almost killed back in the ghetto just for being gay. My brother saved my life by lying and telling the Nazis that I was completely straight. Luckily, he got us both here where I can be myself, sort of, and not have to have that constant threat of being killed because of my sexuality." The way he said this sounded like he had said it before. It wasn't as shocking to him as it was to me. By now, Elijah was probably used to it.

"Your kidding me?!" Both of us spun around to find the last person I ever wanted to see standing in front of me. It was the same fat, old man that yelled at me for treading on his foot back on the first day I arrived. "I have to work next you? Figures, I get stuck with the freak and RUDE one." I looked at this man and then at Elijah. He was just as confused as I was.

"What's your problem?" I was getting so frustrated with this man whom I'd only seen twice in my entire life. Just the way he resented everyone he saw and how he spoke to them bothered me. It wasn't only me who he hated. He shook his head in disgust at Elijah who stood in front of me.

"Just let me do my work over here and you better stay over there. You too, boy" the man said pointing a fat finger at Elijah. "Don't think that I don't know about you and what you really are." Elijah looked angrily at the man. Then his expression turned to sadness as he bowed his head as if he were ashamed. I was fuming with anger by then but knew the worst thing to do would be to get this man upset. One word and Elijah could be in big trouble.

"Actually, this job involves team work, unless we'll never finish." I took a step closer to the man who by then was fumbling around with the melting machine. He obviously had no clue of what he was doing. He lifted the metal plate and tried jamming it in the wrong sized cutter. The man grunted in frustration when he realized that it wasn't going to fit.

"You should really let us help you." Elijah stepped closer to the man and tried helping him work the giant machine.

"Back off, boy! I know what I'm doing here! What, do you think that I've never worked a machine before?" The man shoved Elijah backwards roughly, sending him crashing into me. I reached out my hand to grab the bar besides me, hoping it would brake my fall, but it slipped out of my grasp and I was sent crashing to the floor. Somehow, I had managed to fall right next to the melting machine I was working on and smacked my head into the side of it. I heard a deafening thud as I hit the ground and then complete blackness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Sarah? Sarah!" I opened my eyes to find mama and papa hovering over me with pure terror and pain in their eyes. Their expressions were the same. I squinted my eyes at the bright lights above me and held up my hand in hopes to block out some of the blinding lights. I groaned out in pain from the stinging rippling effect shooting out from the left side of my head. I reached up and touched it gently with my hand and felt a giant bump where I remember hitting my head. 

"Sarah, can you hear me honey?" I nodded my head slowly and opened my mouth to speak. A raspy, hoarse voice came out that sounded nothing like my real voice. 

"What happened?" I asked, afraid of what their answer would be. 

"You hit you head on a machine, Sarah. You were knocked out cold. But a young man, Elijah, brought you to the infirmary for us, thank God." Mama patted my head and smiled. 

"Elijah!" I squeaked out. My heart was racing each time his name was spoken. 

"Yes, he told us what happened. That stupid, fat, pig of a man caused all of this to happen because he refused help!" Mama vented anger. When she spoke, she used furious hands motions. "It just proves how careless and stupid some people can be when their not careful. Well, you just better pray that I don't get my hands on him!" Papa came closer to me and helped me sit up.

"How are you feeling baby?" He put his cool hand on my forehead and checked my temperature. 

"I feel fine. I can go back to work now." Mama and papa both looked at each other and sighed. Even I was surprised from what came out of my mouth.

"I'm not sure about that Sarah. You hit your head pretty good." 

"Please papa? I really do feel fine. And it's very important that I see a friend of mine and talk to them." 

An hour later, I was back at my station. I walked up to the machine that almost killed me and saw that Elijah was still there. He seemed to be working twice as fast as I did and with incredible sharpness. Never once did he drop a pan or have to un-jam the melting machine. His gentle hands glided around his instruments. He made it look so easy. The only time he paused was to wipe the beads of sweat that ran down his face with his cap. 

When I came closer to him, he turned his head sideways, still working perfectly, and raised his eyes brows. I stood in front of him, embarrassment creeping up my body. I tired to find the right words to say to him, thanking everything he did but he spoke before me. 

"Your out already?" The crunching sound of the cutting machine almost drowned out his own voice. "I expected with a fall that hard that you'd be in for at least the night. How are you feeling?" He stopped working and took off his gloves as he walked over to me. 

"Thank you" I said quietly.

"It's alright" he said in a cheery tone. "I'm glad your feeling better. I started to get a little over whelmed over here without your help. I usually have someone else here to help me when I'm alone."

The two of us stood there for another moment before I broke away from his warm gaze and then began to make my way over to the steel that needed to be cut. I reached out for a circular plate when a hand grabbed my wrist. At first it was firm and full of emotion, but then when I lifted my eyes from his hand to his eyes, it loosened and was as gentle as could ever be. 

"I was only kidding" he said, chuckling. "You just sit down there and I'll take care of this" he said, half smiling at me. 

"Are you sure?" I asked, not wanting to seem lazy. Elijah nodded his head and lead me over to a stool about five steps away from him, still holding my wrist. I plopped myself on the stool and watched him as he turned around and got back to work. 

"So where is that man?" I could tell my question amused him as a small smile spread across his face. There was something about Elijah that made me feel so comfortable and relaxed that I could ask him just about anything. 

"Well, as soon as your mama and papa heard what happened, they went straight up to Oskar Schindler and asked him if he could remove the man from our station." I flushed with embarrassment just picturing my parents in action. "You should've seen your mama when I brought you into the infirmary. She went crazy with anger. She works there now." Elijah tried covering up his laughter. 

"Oh, no." I sighed to myself and reached my hand up, touching my lump under my bandana. It was sore but was defiantly going down. 

"Are you alright?" Elijah stopped working the machine and came closer to me. I quickly took my hand off my head.

"I'm fine." _**Lie. **_"I was just checking to see if the bump went down." Elijah bent down on his knees in front of me and turned my chin slowly to the left, examining my bump. At first, I was a little self conscious about him being so close, but Elijah wasn't like all the other men I knew. 

"It has gone down a little." He rested his hands on his knees and looked at me. I held his gaze as long as I could. His green eyes enveloped my body in ease. 

I broke out of my trance with a sudden wave of dizziness. My head was spinning and throbbing where I had hit it. I suddenly felt very tired as well which I counted as a very bad sign. I stood up abruptly. 

"I, er, I think I need to go back to the infirmary." I was stuttering again. "I'm starting to feel sick and a little tired." My stomach lurched upside down. 

"Do you want me to walk you there?" Elijah held my elbows and pulled me to my feet. "Are you going to faint?" 

"No, no. I'll be fine. I just need to see my mama about it. I'm sure she'll be…able to help me." I turned around and started picking up speed in my step, leaving a very confused Elijah behind me. "Good bye, Elijah, and thank you. I'll be back soon" I said, slapping a fake smile on my face and walking away. I didn't want to worry him anymore. 

Once again it was snowing when I got outside. I pulled my sweater closer around my neck in an effort to protect my body from the blistering snow. I listened to the eerie silence around me and the crunching sound of my shoes on top of the snow. My tears froze on my cheeks as the chill of the winter wind blew at my face. The pain in my head sent shocks of pain down my body. I coughed hard, rattling my insides. 

I opened the door to the infirmary and poked my head through the door, looking for mama. I scanned the room of sick bodies on old mattresses crying out in pain, until I saw her. She was dressed in all white with a mask covering her nose and mouth. She was bent over an old women and was taking blood from her arm. The old woman looked up at my mama and smiled sweetly up at her. After mama was done, she patted the cheek of the old, wrinkly woman and made her way across the room to another patient. When she spotted me, she stopped everything she was doing and ran to me. 

"Sarah! Are you alright?" I could tell by the looks of mama that she had not slept at all last night. Not many people did. Her hair was piled up in a messy bun at the top of her head and large, dark circles outlined her eyes. "What's the matter?" 

"I just feel a little sick. I think I need to lie down for awhile." My eyes fell on the blood stains that covered her apron. What was she being forced to do these days?

"Have you been crying, Sarah?" I quickly remembered what my face must look like now and regretted not washing some of the tears off my face with snow before I arrived. Mama leaned in closer to me and touched my swollen face. 

"No mama. I just feel a little ill." She turned around and scanned the lobby for an empty bed. As she turned around, I quickly rubbed my face with all my might, trying to erase some of the sorrow from it before she turned around again. 

"Just lie down here and get some rest. I won't be far." Mama sat me down on an old rickety bed and tended to her other patients. 

I had a lot to think about as I laid down, staring up at the dirty, water stained ceiling above me. Every time I thought about Andreas, my heart leapt out of my chest. I missed him so much. I would have given anything to have him back with me right now or at least have an idea of where he was. The thought of him being dead didn't even cross my mind at the moment. I knew that he was alive. I always believed that if anything ever happened to him, I would defiantly get a feeling that something was wrong, just like the one I had when Nathan and Llana…I didn't even want to bring up the subject because I knew that that would only bring on more tears and pain. I promised myself that after the war, I was going to find Andreas no matter how dangerous it was. **I was going to find him. **

The next day was better. The bump on my head was completely gone by then and I could go back to work, which meant that I could see Elijah again. I could talk to him again and I could listen to his sweet voice. 

"Feeling any better?" Elijah asked the moment I arrived. 

"Yes, thank-" Elijah wasn't working alone. Beside him was a tall man, with thick, curly, black hair that took me by surprise. He was a few inches taller than Elijah and had a little more of a muscular build than him. 

"Sarah," Elijah said taking my hand and leading me closer to the man next to him. "This is my boyfriend, Lev." Elijah turned towards the man and gestured towards me. "Lev, this is Sarah Simberstein. She's the girl I told you about." Elijah smiled at Lev as their eyes met. The adorable dimples formed on his cheeks again. Lev stuck out his hand to me. I shook it, grinning at Elijah who was overwhelmed with joy by then. 

"Hello, Sarah. I've been assigned to help you and Elijah work at this station. I believe someone was working here first but then was moved to another part of the camp for some reason." I looked at Lev who obviously had no clue about what happened and then at Elijah who was muffling his laughter with his hands. I couldn't help but to laugh myself at it. One thing that I had learned to survive this war was to always have a sense of humor about things. Without it, we'd be miserable. 

"Well, it's not the most interesting job in the world but it keeps us busy" I said, sighing. "Plus, there's always something to talk about when near Elijah." Laughter arose from all three of us.

In a matter of minutes I was back in my usual routine of melting the giant pieces of silver and passing them over to Elijah to cut into their proper shape. Only this time we had another person with us. I immediately fell in love with Lev from the moment I saw him. He was more serious than Elijah was but equally friendly. The three of us talked for hours on end about our lives until we knew everything about each other. It was so nice having friends again. Friends I could tell anything to and know that they would understand and comprehend where I was coming from. I even told them about Andreas. I just managed to leave out the fact that he was a Nazi. I didn't want to make things awkward between us. I told them all about how we met and how I would sneak out every night to see him. Then, I told them all about our separation and how much it hurts not having him with me. Every time I spoke his name, my stomach lurched forward as well as my heart. 

"You will be with him again, Sarah. If he loves you that much to help your family escape, then there's nothing stopping him from coming back for you." Elijah took my hand in his and squeezed it tightly. His fingers were surprising warm for this time of the year. 

"Unless he's dead" I choked out. I hated saying that word. DEAD. It never brought any good after it. Lev handed me another piece of steel. 

"He sounds perfect. We need more men like him in this world." He sighed and looked at Elijah, smiling a sad smile. 

"He was." A long silence passed over us until Lev decided to finally break the silence. 

"So how long have you been here" Lev asked me. His voice was surprisingly cheery compared to our surroundings. 

"Three months now. I'm here with my mama, papa and sister, Hannah." I pulled the lever on the machine that crushed the metal plates. "Who are you here with, apart from Elijah?"

"No one." Lev's cheery voice had just gone down to a very painful sounding one. I looked over to Elijah to see what I said to get him so sad. He nodded his head slightly and mouthed the words _it's ok,_ silently. I immediately regretted asking my question.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"It's alright. I don't want to forget them and I feel that if I stop speaking of them for the rest of my life, I will." Lev looked back up at me. I thought that he was going to cry then. He looked so depressed. "They killed my little niece, Clare, and my sister, Jenna, back in the ghetto." The breath was sucked out of me. 

"Clare?" I asked. We couldn't be talking about the same little girl that Llana saved the day of the first selection. 

"Yes. The last time I saw them was the day after a selection had occurred. I was separated from them in all the chaos." He breathed in deeply, running his hand through his bushy, black curls. "But that day, a miracle happened. My sister somehow lost Clare in the crowd. She was so sure that she was taken and searched the entire night looking for her. Then, when she had practically given up all hope, a young woman met her with Clare in her arms. She had found my little niece and helped her escape the wrath of the Nazis." Lev paused and looked at my reaction. The metal plate I was holding slipped from my grasp and crashed onto the ground.

"Oh my, God. Lev, I know that young woman that saved Clare. That was my brother's girlfriend, Llana." My breathing became more and more heavy. Such a small world.

"You were the family that took care of Clare?" Lev stepped closer to me. 

"Yes" I breathed out. "Llana sent her to our apartment before the selection started." I dropped my head and bit my lower lip. "She didn't make it?" 

"No." His voice pierced through my heart. "A day after my sister found Clare, the Nazis found out somehow that they missed a child and tried to take her away. Jenna wouldn't let that happen so she went with her."

The rest of the day went by in a blur. No one spoke, or moved from out stations. I felt a pain in my heart that just wouldn't go away. Everyone was dieing around me. Everyday, I learned about the death of another one of my friends or family. The killing just wouldn't stop until it got to me, or so I believed. 

At the end of our day, Elijah came over to me and tapped my shoulder. I turned around and noticed how he was grinning from ear to ear. He was obviously excited about something.

"Do you want to come to a party tonight?" His cheeks seemed to turn a light shade of red as his excitement grew more and more.

"A party? Here?" Elijah nodded his head with excitement and looked back up at me. "They allow parties here?"

"We were granted special permission from Oskar Schindler himself in celebration of the new year. He has sent all of his Nazi officers home for the night and gave us all the day off tomorrow." Elijah was beaming with excitement. "I'd really like to take you to it since your, like, my best friend here. Lev's coming too. It should be a nice relief for us all. It's being organized by a bunch of teenagers like us." He shrugged his shoulders. I was so flattered by his words that of course I agreed.

The thought of a party even happening still was shock enough. I needed to be around people my age and have a good time again. And having Elijah there would only make it better for me. 

"Alright." I smiled when I said my answer. "That sounds like a lot of fun. Just don't leave me once we get there for all the cute people." Both of us laughed.

"You really are a lot cuter than you think, Sarah. If I weren't gay then I would defiantly ask you out on a date." He pulled me into a giant bear embraced which I greatly appreciated. Elijah always had a way of making me feel better. 

"Well, its going to be tonight after quitting time which is in a few minutes." We both looked at the clock behind us.

"I just have to tell my parents first. Just so they don't worry." So many thoughts were racing through my mind then, but one that really stuck out was excitement. Tonight would be fun. Fun…

_Hello everyone! Thankyou so much for the words of encouragment. They really mean a lot to me. I hope you like this chapter. I already know what's going to happen in the next one and am soooo excited to get it posted for you!! _

_Have a good Easter everyone!_

_TwilightGirl14_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Stupid, Sarah. Why should you be worried about what your wearing, tonight? You are, in fact, still working in a forced labor factory. _I used my fingers in a lame attempt to smooth and de-tangle out my hair. I looked down at my clothing. A simple faded yellow dress and black, ugly, work boots. I tried flattening my dress out with my hands when I got a good look at my appearance. Scratches and bruises covered my fingers and palms from working long days at a steel factory. O_h, well _I thought to myself. _I doubt anyone there is going to be wearing anything different than I am. _

Mama and Hannah came closer to me. Hannah hung her head low on her shoulders. She was upset that she was too young to go to the party tonight. I did feel sorry for my little sister. I knew that she longed for a night of games and laughter just as much as I did.

"I'll be back soon, mama." I hugged her tightly for a moment. For the strangest reason, I felt so nervous about tonight. I felt as if something big was going to happen tonight. The feeling frightened me. Mama patted my head.

"You really do look beautiful, Sarah. Stay out as late as you want and have a wonderful time." I could tell that behind her smile were feelings of anxiety and pain.

I bent down on my knees and opened up my arms to Hannah. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned her face away from me, pouting out her lips. My face fell. I hated when she was mad at me, especially at times like these.

"Hannah…I promise that the next party I'm invited too, I'll bring you along with me. And if they say that you can't come because your too young then I won't go either." I dropped my arms to my sides and waited for her reaction. Slowly, curiosity got the better of her and she turned her head towards me. She raised her eye brows and scrunched up her nose in a thinking expression and came closer to me until we were face to face.

"Promise?" She stuck out her tiny hand in front of me. I cleared my throat, straightened up and took her hand in mine, shaking it firmly.

"I promise" I said.

"Hello, Sarah." Elijah waved to me as I walked closer to him. The bitter cold of winter nipped at my body threw my thin coat. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing good, well, better." I felt the nerves spew out from my mouth. Why was I so nervous?

Elijah looked stunning. He was wearing a white button up shirt and brown corduroy pants. On top on his cropped hair sat a brown, woolen cap and a pair of fingerless gloves on his hands.

"If you ever grow tired throughout the evening and want to leave, all you have to do is tell me and I'll bring you back." He smiled over at me and I smiled back. Such a rush of wonderful feelings ran through my body when he said that. He really was the best friend apart from Llana that I had ever had. I could tell that he genuinely cared about me.

He reached over slowly and took my hand in his. I could feel his body heat through the gloves he was wearing warm up my frigid fingers. Both of us laughed quietly as we made our way towards the same steel and pot making factory that we both worked at.

"So where is Lev? I really hope he's coming tonight." Elijah smiled at his name. "You really like him don't you, Elijah?"

"He's going to meet us there." I touched the blush in his cheek with the back of my palm and laughed.

"Elijah" I egged on. He looked sideways at me, smiling.

"I do. It's so weird…" he paused for a moment, blushing, dimples in full effect. "I think I'm in _love_ with him, Sarah." We both stopped. I turned towards him with my jaw dropped. Both of us burst out into uncontrollable giggle fits.

"Oh Elijah, I'm so happy for you." I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He linked his arms around my back and held me tightly. "Love is the greatest emotion God could've ever given us" I whispered into his ear. He fell silent. I pulled away from him and looked at his face.

"I'm fine. We just have a lot of things to talk about later about myself and religion."

"Don't you believe in God?" We started walking again towards the building. It stopped snowing.

"I don't know anymore. I can't figure out why a…entity with so much power can…" he sighed and looked at me. "Do you think that maybe we can talk about this later?"

"Of course, Elijah." I snatched his hand and swung it in front of the two of us as we walked. "Let's just have fun tonight. We all need this so much."

Soft, dancing music drifted out of the windows of the factory and grew louder and louder. Laughter and teenage voices filled my head and relaxed me, brining back memories of the countless parties I used to attend back before the war started. I remembered the song that was playing from years ago. I breathed in deeply.

As soon as we walked into the building, I knew that this night would be great for me. Dozens of teenagers, all our age, were dancing and talking about all the same topics we used to. Friends, games, music, our favorite actresses…It was perfect. I could see some of the girls flirting with boys and more of them dancing.

"SARAH!" I spun around and laughed as I saw Omah run towards me. I opened my arms wide and caught her as she jumped onto me. Both of us giggled and shrieked with laughter during our happy reunion. It wasn't until a few minutes passed by until I noticed the young man awkwardly standing beside her.

"Who's this?" I gestured towards the young man with sandy, blonde hair and grey eyes. He looked only to be around fifteen but was pretty tall for his age.

"Oh, sorry." Omah beamed with excitement as she grabbed him gently by the arm and brought him closer towards Elijah and I. "This is my little brother, Gabriel."

"Hello, Gabriel." I shook his hand and smiled. He was a quiet, shy boy but had such a sweet smile.

"Hi" was all he said to me before looking back at his sister and wondering what to do next. I turned back to Elijah as he stepped forward and offered a hand to Gabriel. He shook it carefully, eyes still to the ground. Omah smiled widely, and linked her arm around Gabriel's.

"Well, I have to introduce Gabriel here to some more people." As the two of them left, Elijah laughed to himself.

"I like her, Sarah." I turned towards him so that our faces were close. I could see the smile creep across his face. "She's very…energetic I guess." I nodded my head in agreement and turned back, looking at Omah introducing her shy brother to a group of flirty girls in the corner. One of the girls leaned in closer to Gabriel and pinched his cheek, playfully. He went as red as a tomato when she did this. He let out a nervous laugh until he connected eyes with one of the more shy girls behind all the other ones, swarming around him. She had her hands folded in front of her and her eyes were glued to Gabriel's. Her hair was very short, probably just shaven. She must have came from one of the death camps, I guessed, feeling instant sympathy for her. I continued to watch as Gabriel left the safety of his sister's side, leaving all the other girls and make his way towards the shy girl. She looked to be his age and had a beautiful, sweet, kind face. He extended out his hand and shook hers gently. I sighed, happily, to myself and turned back to Elijah who was slowly swaying and moving his hands to the sounds the music around us.

Tables were aligned along the walls of the factory with small bottle of wines and water. Some were already opened bottles and some looked brand new. An area was cleared in the middle of the factory for dancing where a few couples had already started doing.

Elijah looked around anxiously for Lev. After assuring him that he would be able to find him a lot faster without me, Elijah left me by the dance space to look for Lev. I watched carefully as the girls swayed their arms and twirled around the men to the rhythm of the music. How much I wished I could dance like they could, calmly and smoothly. Knowing myself, I would probably be sprawled out on the floor by now. I wrapped my arms around my chest and waited for Elijah to get back with Lev right beside him.

"Would you like to dance?" My body went cold. I felt my pulse shoot up from my feet to my ears in panic. I knew that voice. I closed my eyes and soon, all the music and laughter surrounding me drifted away and all I could hear is this person's voice. Afraid of what I would see when I turned around was the only reason why I didn't. I listened as I heard and sensed the person walked out from behind me and stand in front of me. "Sarah…it's me." I opened my eyes and stared at him.

"Andreas?" If I hadn't heard his voice, I wouldn't have recognized him. His appearance had changed drastically. His short, golden, hair was now thick, curly, and long. It reached down to his ears. His skin was smudged with dirt and he was defiantly more tanned. His usual clean, shaven face was now a long beard. He was dressed in similar clothing as Elijah. The only thing that hadn't changed were his eyes. Those beautiful hazel, glossy eyes that I knew so well gazed back at me. His facial expression was so peaceful that it made my entire body relax.

"Dance with me, Sarah." He took my trembling hand in his and pulled me towards the dance floor. It felt as if I were floating and not walking as Andreas turned, and pulled me close to him in the middle of the dance floor. No longer was I embarrassed about dancing or being in the center of something. The only I could think of was him. The music slowed down to a soft, calm song. Andreas lifted my hand in his and placed my other motionless hand on his shoulder. I was in such shock that I forgot how to move my feet. I waited until he took the first steps until I started regaining some feelings in my body.

"How…what…?" My mouth went dry as tears welled up in my eyes, frustrating me from the blurred vision it was causing me to have. Andreas pulled me even closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes as the two of us slowly danced across the floor.

"No questions yet. Let's just dance." I could feel his heart beating against my chest. I was holding back my need to cry then. I took my hand off of his shoulder and wrapped both of them tightly around his neck. I clung to him as hard as I could, digging my fingers into his back. I buried my face into his neck and breathed in his breath taking scent that I missed so much. Andreas took his arms and linked them around my back. I held onto him so tightly that my fingers cramped up.

"I missed you so much, Andreas. Don't go." I didn't dare open my eyes for the fear that he might not be there when I did and I would find out that this was all a dream.

"Don't worry, Sarah. I won't go anywhere. Just listen to the music." He rubbed my back soothingly.

"But…" I started to say. Andreas peeled my face from his neck and held it inches away from his. A smile spread across his lips as he shook his head in amusement.

"You haven't changed one bit, Sarah. Still as stubborn as ever." I bit my bottom lip and let out a quiet laugh. Andreas came close to me and gently kissed my clammy forehead, whispering all the things that I longed to hear from him for months.

Everything was so perfect. I had Andreas again. I had my love again in my arms and I knew that he wasn't going to leave me ever again. As the song came to an end, I sighed with depression that we had to separate, even if it was only by a few feet.

Soon, I saw Elijah and Lev walking toward me. Lev trailed behind Elijah so closely. I could tell by the way their hands repeatedly grazed each others as they walked. When they saw me dancing with some strange man, Elijah's face became confused and caution.

I mouthed out Andreas' name over his shoulder to Elijah and Lev. A huge grin spread across his face and his hands shot up to cover his open mouth. He spun around quickly to Lev, grabbed his hand and sped off toward another direction.

"I'm so happy to have you again." I gripped my arms around his neck tighter, pressing our bodies closer. I felt his beard brush across my neck. I took in another breath of his scent. "So happy" I mumbled.

_ugh! sorry so much for taking so long but the chapter is up! this is one of the BIGGEST moments in the story, but don't worry there will be more!please leave any reviews on things i should change and/or add. they are greatly appreciated! thank you all!_

_TwilightGirl14_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Andreas and I danced for a few more songs until the uncontrollable urge to ask so many of my questions was threatening to burst. Without looking away from him, the two of us walked out of the building and around the corner to someplace much more quiet and alone. I couldn't believe that I finally had him back with me. The thought was still sinking into my brain. It seemed so long since I had last been able to hold him in my arms.

I sensed his uneasiness from he way he walked, stiff and fast. The grip he had on my hand was starting to scare me. It was secure yet trembling.

"Andreas?" I stopped walking and pulled him to a stop. "Andreas please tell me what has happened?" Snow fell from the sky in soft pillows on our heads and shoulders. We were behind the factory now and Andreas stood against the wall with his back to me. He turned around and looked down at me. "Andreas, what happened?" I brushed away the tears that fell from my face. He leaned in closer to me and pressed his lips against mine. We have kissed before, before we were separated, but this kiss was different. It was so gentle I almost didn't feel it. The warmth from his lips warmed my own in a way that made my head spin.

"Sarah, the things I've seen…I can't tell you. I've been hiding ever since the day Nathan and Llana… " I saw a look in his eyes that made my body shudder. He was no longer staring at me but into the distance behind me. He was no longer with me but back in the ghetto.

"Where are you staying? Who is looking for you?" I snapped back his attention to me. I had to find answers to my questions.

Andreas sat down on the ground which was by then covered with a thin layer of powdery snow. He opened up his arms for me as I sat down on his lap and huddled up as close to him as possible. "I've been running from the Gestapo and hiding anywhere I can. Barns, hay stacks, alleys…"

"What happened that night, Andreas?" I tightened my hold on his body and listened to the rhythm of his heart beat.

"Your parents made it out fine" he explained, "I even picked a night when there would be less guards around on account of the liquidation preparations for the next day. I watched Nathan and Llana and I saw them get pass the gates. But then I saw them flooded in a watch tower light. One guard managed to catch Llana. That's when Nathan jumped on top of him and was able to free her. But Llana didn't run after she was free. Instead, she picked one of the guards hand pistols and shot the guard on top of Nathan, killing him." I tilted my head up to him and saw tears rim his eyes. "I can still see the look on her face when she did it. I know that she only did it to save Nathan. But by then it was too late. Other guards started flooding in around them and in a matter of minutes they were carried off." He paused. I waited until he let out a couple breaths before he went on. "I went straight to the place where they were keeping them and thought of every excuse my mind could think of to get them free…if only for a few hours where maybe they could try again. No one listened to me. I'm only nineteen. Who would ever take the advice of a nineteen year old boy?" More silence. His body stiffened in my arms. I felt his heart beat faster and faster. I pressed my palm to his chest over his heart and felt the pulsing. I watched as my hand jerked slightly up and down until the rhythm became slower.

"Go on, Andreas. Please" I whispered.

"They tried beating Nathan to tell them who helped them escape but he never did. He was so strong, Sarah, so strong. I saw Llana the next morning. They were taking her outside where Nathan was. I told her that I tried to get them free but the guilt over whelming me for not taking more chances wouldn't let me say all the things I wanted to say. She told me that I should never feel guilty about her and Nathan's fate but I still do. I should have-"

"You did everything you could, Andreas. I never want to hear that out of you. If not for you, my parents wouldn't be here today" I interrupted. I sensed how much pain he was in, speaking of my brother and Llana. The way his jaw clenched and his eyes fell to the floor made me feel so sorry for him, for my brother, for Llana.

"They took them both outside and shot them at the same time. They were killed instantly, Sarah, no pain."

The two of us sat perfectly still for a while. The snow pilled up on our shoulders and heads as time passed. I could hear my heart pumping blood ferociously through out my body.

"When did you get here?" My raspy voice surprised me. I rested my head back on his chest. I needed to think up of more questions just to hear the sound of his voice again in my ears.

"About an a day and a half ago." I snapped my head towards at him in shock. The fact that he had been in this camp for an entire night without me knowing made me feel so upset.

"Really?" I tried hiding the curiosity in my voice but it was pretty obvious that I was surprised. Andreas soothingly rubbed my back.

"I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner, Sarah, but I couldn't risk you being caught with me. I have been working here under a dead man's name for the past day and a half." I nodded my head against him, listening to the soothing sound of his gentle voice.

"I understand."

"I remember you going with your sister to Oskar Schindler's labor camp back in the ghetto. It was the first place I thought of to go…the only place." I felt his legs tremble from the cold underneath me. My heart leapt with warmth. "Very few people know I'm here so I must leave tonight." My stomach dropped as my throat tightened its grip on my heart.

"You're leaving me?" Tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. Andreas pulled me into a gentle embrace. "Please don't leave me again, Andreas." I coughed hard as heavy sobs escaped from my chest. My fingers cramped as they curled around his shirt, bringing him closer to me.

"Please don't cry. I will never leave you, Sarah. I'll come back for you so soon, you won't even know I left." His voice cracked. I could tell he was trying to keep from crying. He was always so strong not only for himself, but for me too. "I needed to know that you were still alive. I needed something to motivate me to keep on fighting." His voice was almost as broken as my heart.

"When will you come back?"

"Soon. The war's almost over and as soon as it is- "

"Until the war is over?" I whispered. That could be weeks, months, years. I felt his chin rest on the top of my head.

"Yes. As soon as the war is over, we can be together every second for the rest of our lives." Silence. My tears stained his shirt.

"Who knows when that will be?" I asked. Andreas pulled off his thin, brown, woolen coat and draped it across my chest. I pulled it tightly around me and took in his glorious scent.

"The German's are surrendering to the American's and British. Hitler has gone into hiding. Everything is falling apart for Germany." I felt his chest rise and fall as he let out a huge sigh. "It'll soon be over."

"Where will you go until then? How will I know if you are still alive or not?"

"Back into hiding from the few Nazis left patrolling the streets around here. Don't worry about me, Sarah, please don't. I have felt that pain for so long that I can't live knowing that's what you are feeling too." He bent his head down and gently kissed my lips. How much I missed his kisses.

"Alright" I said. Every part of my body was hurting. I had finally found Andreas and now he was leaving again. So long I had gone not knowing if he was dead or alive somewhere. Now I knew he was alive. Unfortunately, I would have to go back to feeling the same way again until this wretched war ended.

"I'm going to be thinking of you every second I am gone, Sarah" he whispered into my ear. Both of us stood up, bodies stiff as a board. Andreas wound his arm around my waist and pulled me into his embrace one last time, kissing me longer than we had ever before. I closed my eyes, feeling the soft, trembling touch of his hand on my cheek. I felt my skin burn as he traced his fingers down my jaw line and slip off my face. And then, he was gone again. I closed my eyes tighter, not wanting to see the image of him running away from me, but trying to remember the way I felt whenever we kissed, whenever we touched.

"Good bye, Andreas" I mumbled to myself quietly.

I decided not to go back to the party. I was drained, mentally and physically. My heart was shattering inside my chest and the last thing I would want to see is a bunch of happy teenagers with their boyfriends. So, I started on my way back to my barrack where I knew mama and Hannah were.

I opened my barrack door and crept in. I looked over the rows of worn out bodies until I found them. Hannah was cradled under mama's arms. I knew that I should have woke up mama and told her I was back safely, but they looked so peaceful that I decided not to.

I scanned the barrack for a spot to sleep. It was so crowded that I had to squeeze myself into a space about two feet away from mama and Hannah. I never liked sleeping far from them. Not that I ever slept anymore, but I liked to be close enough to watch over them while they slept. I took it on as my job a while ago to become the main protection for my family. I knew that papa was always going to be the head chief in that department, but at times like now when he was forced to sleep in another barrack from us, mama and Hannah needed someone else to protect them.

I weaseled my way into my space and lied down on my back. I shut my eyes for a few moments and let the feelings of tonight's events wash through my mind. It was so strange. One minute I was overwhelmed with joy that Andreas was still alive and I got to hold him in my arms once more. But at the same time, I was breaking apart inside knowing that he's out there alone and on the run. I quietly cried again for him. My life was literally falling apart and then rebuilding itself again and again. Sometimes, the thought of death actually eased my mind. I pictured myself out of this hell and into a world of peace and warmth all the time. No guns, no death, no lies…

"Sarah!" A sharp whisper made my entire body jump with surprise. "Sarah? Where are you?" I knew that voice. I knew that presence.

"Elijah?" I sat upright and squinted my eyes in the darkness. I held out both my hands towards the dark figure coming closer to me. I felt two hands snatch mine and hold them tightly. "How on earth did you get here?"

"I snuck out. Sarah, please tell me that was who I thought it was." My eyes adjusted to the darkness and were able to focus on Elijah. I could tell that he had been running from the fact that he was out of breath.

I nodded my head. "Andreas…" I whispered, tears rimming my tired eyes. "You were right, Elijah. He came back for me."

"Where has he gone?" He tilted his head at me, still holding my hands. I fell into him, crying hard now. I ignored the scolding's that came from the women around me. I was so sick of being so self-conscious around other people. I was only human. I had emotions and needed to let them out.

"Leave her alone." I looked up at Elijah, glaring at the other women. He was cradling my entire body in his hard arms.

"Oh, come on Elijah" a women whispered loudly from the bunk across from us. "We need our rest! We've been working all day, for goodness sake's." Her voice was harsh and sharp. Elijah whispered something back to her that I didn't hear and looked back down at me.

"Just go to sleep now, Sarah" he whispered to me, stroking my hair gently.

It took a while, but eventually I fell asleep.

_"How have you been?" I asked Andreas. I could tell that he wasn't well. He hadn't shaved in a few days and dark circles began to form under his eyes. But even with all those symptoms, he still looked beautiful to me. _

_"Better now" he said, pulling me towards him. _

_The war was at it's peak. The year was 1944 and Germany was still advancing in their victories all over Europe. Life in the ghetto was becoming harder and harder. The constant fear of being dragged out of our homes and shot in the street loomed over us always. But all of that seemed to just fly away whenever I came to see Andreas. He was so much like a breath of fresh air for me that nothing was wrong when he was near. _

_"I miss you, Andreas. When will I see you again?" I looked around at my surroundings. We were at our usual spot in the ghetto where we met almost every night; behind an old, burned out apartment building. I smiled, remembering all the times we spent together before._

_"Now that I know where you are and that you are still alive, soon. I promise that I'll come back." He lifted my pain struck face up to him and smiled a playful smile. "Have I ever broken any of my promises to you before?" He tapped me on my nose gently. _

_"No." _

I woke up early the next morning. Sadness swept over me with the realization that I would no longer be able to see Andreas in my dreams. Rolling over to at least try catching a few more precious moments with Andreas, I felt a small hand tapping on my shoulders. In swiveled my head backwards and smiled at Hannah. She was curled up into a small ball, hugging her frail knees close to her chest and looking at me.

"Good morning, Sarah." Her little voice chimed. I rolled around, facing her, and tucked my hands under the side of my face as a pillow. Facing each other, we giggled. It felt just like old times when Hannah and I would have our own slumber parties. I would stay up with her all night, laughing and telling scary stories. There wasn't many children where we lived so I was Hannah's best friend her entire life. And even though I was fortunate to have plenty of friends my age, I had to admit that she was mine too.

"I saw you crying with that boy last night, Sarah. Who was he?" Hannah scooted her body closer to mine, ready to hear my secret.

"Well" I began, "he's one of the best friends I have." Hannah's little face dropped. "Apart from you of course." I watched as a small grin passed across her face until I could continued.

"Do you _like_ him, Sarah?" I knew what she meant by that. Hannah was pretty smart for a girl of her age.

"He's different from most boys you know, Hannah." I struggled for the words to say to my little sister to help her understand clearly what I was trying to get at.

"How?"

"Well…you'll find out when your older. But until now I will tell you that he wasn't supposed to be here last night. He only came because something very important for me happened last night at that party I went to. He was just checking up on me." I sighed. "But no one can know he was here, alright Hannah? He could get into trouble by the Nazis if they knew he snuck out of his barrack to see me." She nodded her tiny head in agreement.

"He sounds nice to me, Sarah." Her eyes lids drooped a little as a yawn escaped from her mouth.

"He is." I smiled, thinking about Elijah, my dear Elijah. Llana and Nathan would adore him if they…

"Can I meet him sometime?" Sleep was dragging Hannah down. I could tell that she was very tired and needed her rest. We still had, I guessed depending on where the sun was, about an hour until roll call.

"Yes you can. Now get some sleep, Hannah. We'll talk more later." I brought up the raggedy blanket up to her shoulders and watched as she slowly fell back to sleep in a matter of minutes. I listened as small, raspy breaths rattled in her chest. I grew very worried about her. I remembered back to all the times she had been sent to the infirmary, and all the coughing fits she had had lately. _Was Hannah getting sick?_ A twisting knot tightened in my stomach at the thought of my little sister falling ill in a place like this. I was fortunate enough to stay as healthy as a person could be in a labor camp. But Hannah was so small, so weak, so young. I had to get her something to prevent her from illness. Maybe Elijah and Lev would be able to help me. They constantly told me that if I ever needed anything, I could come to them.

_Hello! I'd like to thank everyone that left me such kind reviews! They really helped me write more chapters for this story and I couldn't be happier to hear that people actually like it!! I really hope that you enjoy reading this chapter and please, if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them! Imagination can be endless! I have some really great ideas for the next few chapters and am sooo excited to post them up!_

_I'd also like to apoligize again for the dilay in the postation (is that a new word??) of the most recent chapters. I'm making it my effort to post up chapters as soon as I type them out. Thanks so much again and I hope you all have a wonderful week!_

_TwilightGirl14_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

About an hour later, we were all woken up and sent off to roll call. This was by far the worst part of the day for me. Hours upon hours we were forced to stand in any weather. The wooden shoes we were all assigned stiffened the soles of my feet. I could feel myself swaying from left to right as time passed. Finally, when the whistle blew for the end of roll call, we were able to move. We had ten minutes to get to work. I was still in a deep sense of depression after what happened the night before. My mind just wouldn't let the thought of Andres, hiding somewhere, not knowing if he was alive or not go. I hated this feeling so much.

"Want a cigarette?" Omah working in the same station as Elijah, Lev and I was so relieving. I loved having her presence back. All four of us matched each other perfectly. Our personalities molded into one when ever we were close.

"You smoke, Omah?" Elijah said, surprised. "What if the guards see you?"

"That's why I only smoke at nigh time. And besides, what else is there to do around here?" She held out the packet to me. I quickly shook my head and took a pair of pliers in my hand to begin the process of smoothing out the dents in the giant slabs of metal. It was the most time consuming and precise task at our station, but it sucked up time so I didn't mind doing it often.

"Smoking is terrible for you, Omah" I warned her. "I heard that it turns your lungs black as night." She shrugged her shoulders and continued in her job of cranking the giant cutting machine. I sighed and continued with my work.

"It relaxes me though." _SLAM!_ The sound of metal crunching sent goose bumps down my back.

"Are you alright, Sarah?" Lev asked me. I turned towards Elijah, not knowing what to say, hoping he could explain it better than I would be able to. Lev was my friend and I told him everything, but I hated talking about Andres. At least until I knew where he was and if was safe or not.

"She's fine, Lev" Elijah whispered to him. Lev shook his head, understanding what Elijah meant.

"ATTENTION JEWS!" Herr Commandant Druff shouted at the top of his lungs. He was notorious from his vicious attacks on Jews and lack of mercy he had. I knew the man that played the violin for Herr Druff at parties and he said that the man was insane. He would go on rampages of anger, beating any one he saw or got in his way. He was a short, fat, balding man in his forties. We all silenced immediately, knowing that we have to keep our distance from him.

"I am so disgusted with the work quality here! Then again, I am working with a bunch of Jews, so what should I expect?" His words had no effect on us. We had learned to block out all bashes from them by then.

"Look at these! Do you call these pots and pans? How hard is it to make a simple pot?" He picked up a pot I had just finished smoothing out beside me and shoved it in my face. I swallowed all traces of fear as I could but the intensity of his voice cut threw me like a razor blade.

"I'm sorry, Herr Commandant Druff. I'll work harder-" Before I could finish my sentence, a hard, fat hand crashed into the left side of my face. I let out only a small yelp when he slapped me. I felt my cheek burn and tingle with pain. I saw out of the corner of my eye Elijah glaring terrifyingly at Herr Druff. The fire raging in his eye were like any other. I gently brushed my hand across his, signaling not to do anything. He got my message and stepped back a few steps. Holding my cheek, I stared back at Herr Druff. He was dripping with sweat. His rancid body odor engulf all my senses and made me want to gag. I held my place and stare.

"Bitch" he said again as another clash of his hand and my face echoed throughout the room. This time, the impact had knocked me off my feet and on to the cold, hard ground. Everyone was looking at me. The entire room beckoned with their eyes for Herr Druff to have pity on me. Lev inched forward towards me. I could tell that he was seconds away from attacking Herr Druff. I pleaded to him with my face to stay back. I didn't want anyone getting hurt over me. Omah lowered her head and let out a silent sob. Tears fell down her face as I scooped myself back up off the ground.

"You think I will show mercy for you?" he spat out. "You are nothing. Nothing but a waste of a human being." I continued my intense glare on him. I felt the pain shoot up from my red, blotchy cheek. "Say it. 'I am nothing but a waste of a life.'" No way, I thought. I would never give him the pleasure of hearing that from me. "SAY IT! SAY IT NOW!"

I remained silent, head down. "Please say it, Sarah" I heard Omah whisper from behind me. I looked at her and shook my head. I may have lost my heart to the Nazis but I still had to keep some part of my dignity. Herr Druff had had enough. He grabbed my arm roughly with his hand and started dragging me closer to him. I let out a scared, ragged breath.

"If you don't say it now, I will kill you right here, right now." My body went cold. "SAY IT NOW!" Herr Druff pulled out a small pistol out from his pocket and pressed it against my head. I felt the cold steel on my temple. I smelt the alcohol on him. I could tell that this was Herr Druff at his worse.

Just as I prepared to open my mouth to utter my last words, I heard a short whistle from the crowd of people around us. It was a familiar sound. I knew that sound. I averted my eyes slightly behind Herr Druff to the crowd and saw him. It was Andreas. His face was that of pure fear. His eyes were wide and I could feel the panic in his expression.

"I am a waste of a life" I said. Only it wasn't myself telling me to say it. I just blurted it out on impulse as soon as I saw him. I realized that I hadn't lost everything. I wasn't alone in the world after all and I needed to do anything to keep myself alive. Anything.

"Stupid, bitch" Herr Druff said one last time and walked away. The only thing I could hear was the murmur of my heart beating. The only thing I could feel was Andreas' eyes on me.

The whistle blew and everyone got back to work. Omah came up behind me followed by Lev and Elijah. She was trembling with fear. I sensed the tension building up behind me. But I didn't dare take my eyes off him.

"Sarah!" Lev stepped in front of me, breaking the path of my gaze. I looked up at him. He had both hands on my shoulders and was trying to talk to me. "Are you alright?" I shook my head and touched the trickles of blood coming down my lips. The blood was warm and sticky on my finger tips.

"I'm fine" I said to him. I could tell he didn't believe me. "He's here." Elijah came closer to me.

"Who's here, Sarah?" I tried to answer, but couldn't. I was too much in shock.

"Andreas" I choked out, pushing past him and walking over to Andreas. I could feel my pace of steps picking up speed as the distance between us grew smaller and smaller.

"Sarah, what is wrong with you?" As I pressed my body close to his, I could hear the worry in his voice. I sensed the tightening in both our throats. I wound my arms across his back and clung to him as tight as I could. I felt his arms tighten around me. "Sarah, he could have killed you. Why-"

"Don't leave me again, Andreas. Please" I said into his chest. He tucked my head under his chin and stroked my hair with his hand. I loosened my hold on him and looked at his appearance. He had gotten thinner and his hair was longer. His short beard had grown down to his chin.

"I won't." He pulled me away from him and held me at arms length away from him. The look in his eyes scared me. "Now Sarah, I really need you to listen to me carefully." He looked around quickly and then pulled me over to the side. I glanced over to Elijah and the others. All three of them were fumbling around nervously with their machines, looking at both of us. I nodded my head to them reassuringly.

"Hitler's dead." He stared at me and waited for my response. I felt a sudden surge of emotion rise up inside of me. Hitler was dead. Was he murdered? Suicide? What was going to happen now to us?

"Are you certain?" I asked, frightened more than ever for some reason. Andreas nodded his head slowly, sighing and smiling.

"The war is coming to an end for sure now, Sarah. Just like I told you it would." He took my hands in his. His fingers were frigid. "You'll be free soon" he whispered.

"We both will."

"You two! Back to work, now!" A guard from across the factory noticed Andreas and I talking instead of working and ordered us back to work. I grabbed his hand and lead him back over to my station where Lev, Elijah and Omah were all working, silently. They all turned their heads up to us as I passed Andreas a large sheet of metal to press.

"Elijah, Andreas says that Hitler's dead." I kept my voice to an almost un-audible level. If anyone found out that we new such important information, we would all be put to death surely. Elijah expression went from frightened to confusion.

"What? How do you know?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"I've been staying with people who have easy access to radios and telephones." Andreas looked at all our faces. Lev stared at him, coldly and full of immense suspicion. There was something that Lev didn't like about Andreas and it was pretty obvious.

"And how's that?" Lev asked. Andreas sensed how little Lev trusted him and sighed.

"Look, I don't care if you believe me or not, but that is what everyone is saying all across Germany. Haven't you wondered why almost every Nazis official isn't here? Why the guards are extra nervous and not as willing to kill anymore? Why the food you are getting is worse than ever?" We all stared at Andreas as he spoke.

"I believe you, Andreas" Omah whispered. He smiled, reassuringly at her and them looked at Lev and Elijah.

"The war is almost over now. We will all be free soon, so don't do anything foolish to get yourself killed."

For the rest of the day, Omah, Lev and Elijah were silent. Andreas and I never stopped talking even for a moment. There was much to much to say and so little time to say it. He was still living in the camp under a dead man's name. He told me everything that was going on in the outside world and I told him everything I could about what happened since he left. I mentioned about Hannah getting sicker and sicker. His eyes saddened as he said that he would get some medicine for her, somehow.

Even though it looked like Andreas was happy to be back, I defiantly sensed trouble in his presence. I knew when something was bothering him and I was sure that he wasn't telling me something. When I asked him if anything was bothering him, he just sighed and told me that the lack of sleep and time with me was catching up to him.

The guard blew his whistle and signaled all of us to head back to our barracks. I grabbed Andreas' hand and said goodbye to Omah, Lev and Elijah.

"Be safe, Elijah" I said to him as we hugged. He kissed my forehead gently and smiled.

"You too." I watched him catch up to Lev and disappear into the darkness.

Turning my attention back to Andreas, I noticed that he had a giant grin on his face. A smile that made me all of a sudden forget all the pain around me and jump into his arms. Our lips never separated as we back ourselves into to shadow of my barrack. I ran my fingers threw his long hair and pulled him closer to me.

"Have I told how much I've missed you yet?" I smiled and nodded my head at him, kissing him harder. I sighed as I took in the familiar taste of his lips. It was pure heaven for me.

"Mhm" I mumbled. Then, from all the intense passion going on between Andreas and I, I decided to kick it up a notch. As quietly as I could, I grabbed both his arms and threw Andreas against the wall of the barrack. Passion blazed in not only my eyes, but his. I could see the surprise and flame in his eyes brighten.

"Sarah?" Andreas said my name more with surprise than as a question.

I pressed him against the barrack harder and kissed him. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips travel from mine to my throat. Without even noticing, my hands reached out and pressed against his chest. I gripped his shirt in between my fingers and pulled him closer to me. I felt the goose bumps on my arms tingle.

"Sarah" Andreas warned. He could tell what I was thinking, what I wanted so desperately to do. "You know it would be dangerous to" he said to me, pealing myself off of him and, holding a very disappointed, me at arms length.

"But I have been away from you for so long. And I love you so much, Andreas." The fire inside me burned. I watched as his expression eased and he smiled. He pulled me closer to me and held my head against his chest with his hand.

"I love you too, Sarah. You know that. But I just think that other than not being married, it's much to dangerous to do such a thing. Especially if we have never done a thing before in our lives." He breathed in deeply. My shoulders slumped as I realized how stupid I was. How could I ever think that we could do such a thing here. I should've known that both of us equally knew the importance of that topic and wanted it to be perfect when we decided to give up ourselves to each other.

"I'm sorry, Andreas. You're right. We should wait until we are both completely sure that we want to." I backed away from him slowly and took a couple steps in the opposite direction of him. I didn't want him to see the disappointment in my eyes. I heard him scurry up from behind me and wrap an arm across my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.

"Do you really think that I'm not completely sure that I want to?" I heard him quietly laugh behind me as I shrugged my shoulders. "You should know that I want to give myself up to you just as much as you do, Sarah. But I want it to be right. I want it to be safe. We should be married and out of such a place as this forced labor camp."

Closing my eyes, I smiled to myself. I admired his strength more than anyone else's. I slowly turned around and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Of course" I said.

_Hello again! Ok, please don't be mad at me for not posting sooner, but with school and other things that I have been doing, I have very little time to do what I love most-writing! I really hope that you like this chapter. I'm having a bit of writer's block lately but I know that the next chapter will be out very, very soon. Thanks again for the kind reviews I recieved. They help more than you may think. Have an awesome week! _

_TwilightGirl14_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"She's getting sicker, Izak." Mama held Hannah close to her, rocking back and forth. Papa wrapped an arm around mama and tried reassuring her that their child would be fine. Papa was now able to sneak out of his barrack and come see us at night. It was terribly risky, but we missed each other so much.

It was late and everyone in our barrack was asleep but mama, papa and I. I could see the terror in her eyes and that made my stomach churn. Papa wiped his head with his sleeve and started silently praying.

"She'll be fine, mama. It's probably just a simple cold." I reached out and smoothed out Hannah's hair. I could hear her raspy breaths. Mama wasn't convinced.

"Nothing is simple here" she whispered, angrily. I sensed her frustration and worry for Hannah and it was beginning to overwhelm her completely.

"We just need to pray, Elena. God will take care of her." Papa slowly put his hand on her shoulder. Mama looked back at him. Her eyes blazed with anger.

"Oh Izak! Stop with all this talk about God anymore." Tears filled her eyes. "I've had just about enough of everyone's talk about God and how he will one day come and save all of us."

Papa looked at her, confused. "Elena, you are just worried. You know that God is still looking out for us all. Don't you?" Mama looked back down at Hannah who was still sleeping. She shook her head.

"Then why hasn't he done anything yet? Why has he allowed my son to die? Why has he allowed Hannah to become sick? Where is he, Izak?" Mama bowed her head and let out gentle sobs. Papa kissed the top of her head gently. I sat, trembling by myself. Hannah was sick, mama was loosing her faith, and the war had not ended yet.

Later that day, I told Lev, Omah, Elijah and Andreas about Hannah and her illness.

"It sounds like a respiratory infection to me, Sarah" Elijah said. He had studied medicine before the war so I trusted his judgment.

"Will she be alright?" I tried keeping calm, but inside I was absolutely terrified.

"Unless she gets proper medicine…the infection can spread and that could lead to…" Elijah cut himself off. Everyone looked at me while they worked. Each face had the same expression of sympathy on. Andreas squeezed my hand in his.

"She'll be fine, Sarah. I told you I would get medicine for her, and I will." He had a hard, confident look in his eyes that made my shoulders relax a little.

"I'm so scared, Andreas." I replaced tears with heavy breaths. I tried so hard not to cry in front of my friends. "If mama and papa loose one more child…" I started cranking the metal pressure machine ferociously as my emotions built up. Everyone noticed this.

"Hannah will not die here, Sarah. I need you to trust me and have faith that I will get her the proper medicine she needs. Have I ever broken a promise to you before?" I had an instant flashback to the dream I had a few nights ago. Andreas had said the same thing to me and I believed him.

"No." I stopped what I was working on and turned to him. "I trust you, Andreas."

After another long day at work, I was anxious to get back to my barrack and check up on Hannah. I found her sleeping in mama's arms. I could still hear every raspy breath she took into her. Slowly and quietly, I made my way over the masses of other sleeping women and to mama and Hannah. I sat down right beside them and watched them both as they slept. A stressful, painful, worried looked was permanently etched on mama's face, even as she slept. Poor Hannah had a simple look of innocence on hers. It killed me inside knowing that my little sister was in so much pain.

_**"ATTENTION ALL WORKERS! ATTENTION!" **_A loud voice sounded from the speakers above us. I jumped at the voice's energy, as did everyone else in my barrack. _**"ALL WORKERS MUST REPORT TO THE MAIN AMMUNITION FACTORY IMMEDIATELY!" **_

"Mama, what is happening?" I asked. I suddenly felt like a child again. I was growing more and more frightened as the man's voice above us grew louder and more urgent. Something about the way he spoke made me want to run to my mama's side again. "Mama!"

"Come, Sarah. Stay with me and don't get separated!" Mama lifted up Hannah quickly and grabbed my hand. She lead both of us, swiftly and quickly outside of the barrack and began her search for papa. I soon joined in the search for him as well as Andreas and the others. I had guessed that Omah had probably found her brother and was on her way right now to the ammunitions factory. But I couldn't find Elijah or Lev.

"Papa!" I screamed as loudly as I could. "Papa!" Mama shushed me.

"He's in the men's barracks, Sarah." Hannah stirred in mama's arms. Mama looked at me with pleading eyes. "Please, don't worry your sister."

I understood what mama meant. I had to stay calm. Papa, Andreas, Elijah and Lev were all with the rest of the men. Omah was with her brother and they were all safe. They were all safe. Scanning the mass of confused, frightened people, I silently screamed papa's name. We were all shoved into the ammunition factory where Oskar Schindler awaited us. He stood as tall as a giant, perched on top of a large, wooden box. He had his hands in the air.

This was a different side of Oskar Schindler that many people didn't get to see. His hair which was usually greased back, was messy and needed combing. The intense scent of cologne no longer surrounded us. His jacket that draped over his shoulders was full of wrinkles and he held a radio in his hands. We all gathered around him as he prepared himself to speak. Something was wrong. He was about to tell us something very important. Still, I searched for papa and the others desperately.

"Please" Oskar said in his deep, masculine tone. "A little while ago…Germany surrendered to the American, British, and Russian armies. The day is May 8, 1945." Silence. Deafening silence. None of us could speak or move. I stared at Oskar Schindler, stun over taking all my other senses but sight. The war was over. It was finally over.

Oskar continued his speech of what the world was like right now. He told us that six years have gone by of the killing of our friends, family and people. Any other family that we knew was most likely dead and that we should begin starting over our lives. We needed to move on and restart our lives right from scratch. Bear children, find love again, and take care of one another. Many minutes of silent prayer went by.

"Mama?" I whispered, still staring at Oskar. None of us could move still.

"Yes?" She answered towards Oskar.

"What do we do now?"

"I don't know." She breathed in deeply, holding Hannah tighter towards her chest. "Start searching."

A few minutes later, Oskar Schindler told us that he had to flee the country from the fact that he was still indeed, even after all his actions, a member of the Nazi party. He would be wanted and hunted down as a criminal. It didn't seem fair. After all he had done for us, he was still wanted as a war criminal.

The doors to the factory were then opened. We all filtered out in a haze. The looks on everyone's faces were of utter shock and confusion. None of us had any clue what to do.

"Where do we go?"

"We are going to find papa and leave this place right now." Mama took my hand in hers and darted her tired eyes around for papa. Hannah woke up in mama's arms.

"What happened, mama?" Her sweet, tiny voice pulled on my heart strings. I looked at mama and sensed her aching arms getting weaker and weaker. I reached out and took Hannah into my arms. Kissing her wet forehead, I tried calming her down.

"We're free now, Hannah. Just go back to sleep and I'll wake you up later."

"Sarah?" Hannah hugged my neck with her frail arms.

"Yes?" At the moment, I was half paying attention to my sister and the other half of me was looking for papa.

"I love you" she whispered. I went completely silent. I felt my eyes start to burn and pulse beat quicker and harder in my chest. So badly did I want to tell Hannah that we were going to be alright and that we were going back home, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure for a fact that the next time she woke up, she would be in her old bed again, safe and warm. I couldn't bare telling her something so wonderful as that and disappoint her with the bitter reality of another ghetto.

Taking in a ragged breath, I whispered back to her only loud enough so she could hear me. "I love you too, Hannah."

Once she was sleeping again on my shoulder, I had no more distractions from finding papa, Andreas, Elijah and Lev. I tried looking for papa's beard which was long and dark. Or Elijah's voice which I could hear a mile away. I also tried looking for Lev's beautiful, bushy, black hair but I couldn't find any of them…especially Andreas. I needed to find him quickly. I knew that once we had my papa, mama would waste no time in leaving this place and finding a hospital for Hannah.

"Papa! Izak!" Mama and I called out his name and searched the sea of pale, sunken faces. Faces that I was forced to live with for so long. By then, I was used to their gaunt expressions and apathy.

"SARAH!" I spun around with Hannah clutching me and faced the familiar voice.

"Andreas!" It didn't take me long to hook my hand around his neck and pull him close to me so our lips could touch. He pulled himself away and touched my cheek. His hair was so long now. It fell in tangled clumps around his face. His beard was golden and long as well. And no matter how much Andreas let himself go, I still saw under it all and loved him for it.

"Sarah, where will you go?" He stared at me with concern burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth, ready to speak, but no words came out for some reason. Instead, I pointed towards mama who was searching frantically for papa.

"Once we find papa, we need to get Hannah to a hospital." I turned back towards Andreas and held Hannah tighter. He reached out and gently patted her small head resting on my bony shoulder. I heard him sigh in sympathy.

"Of course. I'm so sorry that I didn't get her medicine sooner." His eyes turned red. I noticed his eye brows furrow in sadness as Hannah let out yet another round of chest burning coughs. Andreas really did love Hannah as a sister, and that always brought at least a few more seconds of happiness into my life.

"Andreas, I know that you love Hannah. So does she." He nodded his head slowly and looked back up at me. "You're coming with me, aren't you Andreas?" Utter dread filled my body just imagining him not coming with me. The look in his face scared me even more. I could tell that he was hiding something from me that would kill him to say. I almost saw the hatred words spill from his mouth.

"Sarah… I'm a wanted criminal. I am a Nazi." He raised his hand again and rested it on my head. I stared up at him in total confusion. His voice was raspy and broken. Pain stabbed at him with each word he spoke.

"No" I told him. "You are not one of them."

"They have my records, my name, everything, Sarah. I have to hide, maybe even flee the country. It's either that or be thrown into prison for a while." Andreas didn't look me in the eyes as he spoke. He stared at the ground, Hannah, mama, everything but my face. I even heard him swallow.

"Andreas" I said. In a panic, I started spewing out words the second they came to my head. "I'll hide you. You don't have to leave. No one will even recognize you. I'll keep you safe. You can't leave me." Tears pricked my eyes. Air was harder to take in. Andreas pulled me closer to him, sandwiching Hannah between us both. I heard mama yelling papa's name in the distance through my pounding ears. I quickly pushed Andreas away from me. That hurt him deeply. I could tell from the horrified look in his eyes. I was angry. I was hurt.

"Sarah. There is no way on Earth how I could tell you what this is doing to me. I-"

"You promised me!" I interrupted him. Heavy sobs rattled my chest as I tried my hardest to keep them inside. "Andreas, please don't leave me. You don't have to!"

"I do have to" he said calmly. "They'll find me, Sarah. They track me down and anyone else I'm with. If they find me hiding with you and your family, you'll all be arrested for helping a Nazi hide." He stepped closer to me and reached out to touch my arm. I yanked my body away from him. Anger, disappointment, pain all swirled within my body and mind. "Sarah, don't be like that. I'm only trying to protect you."

"And killing me at the same time." I shook my head at him. Andreas ran his fingers through his yellow hair. The hair that I used to once run my fingers through. The hair I once brushed away to kiss his forehead. My breathing became heavy and ragged.

"I'll find you soon, Sarah. Please don't leave me now, hating me."

"_I'm_ leaving _you_? How could you say that? I gave you my entire heart, Andreas! And ever since you first came back at the party that night, you have been leaving me and coming back. Leaving and coming back. Every time you leave me, I spend every second thinking what I would ever do if you were dead. It killed me Andreas!" I was fuming anger. Andreas looked at me for a very long time.

"And how do you think I felt each time I had to leave you? Do you really believe that I spent that time thinking only of myself? Sarah, it killed me too! But now, as much as it pains me to say this, I have to go and find a safe place to stay until the time comes when I can be with you again." His voice was rising, as was mine.

"I can't live not knowing where you are or if you are even alive, Andreas. I love you too much and it hurts me so badly. It's too hard! Why didn't you tell me this before? What about all the plans we had made?" Hannah stirred in my arms.

"I had to tell myself every time I was near you those plans to keep myself from dying inside." He stooped speaking and rubbed his forehead.

"So you lied to me. You knew all along that you were going to leave me once we were free and never told me. You lead me on to believe every word of them for so long."

"No! I meant every word I said to you, Sarah. That's all I want- to marry you and live forever with you until the day I die. But to hurt you like that, I couldn't." People all around us began to grow more panicked. The tension began to rise. I saw him holding back fierce tears. "Please, don't be mad at me for this, Sarah."

"Just go. Leave me again, Andreas! Just like old times!" Mama called my name but I continued my cold star at Andreas, the man I was in love with and hating at the same time.

Pursing his lips tightly, Andreas leaned in close and kissed my cheek gently. Inside, I was screaming at myself. _He's leaving, Sarah! Kiss him back! Tell him how much you love him! _

I remained silent and motionless as he kissed me and backed away slowly. I felt his eyes on my face. His beautiful, painful eyes.

"Goodbye, Sarah. I love you so much. No matter how long it is until we see each other again or what we say, I love you and only you for the rest of my life. I will be back." Finally, tears fell from his eyes. So badly I wanted to brush them away. Kiss them away and hold him until he stopped crying.

Andreas backed away slowly farther and farther. I watched as the space between us grew. I looked one last time at him. I watched his expression of confusion and pain stick to his face. I only guessed what my face looked like. I probably looked horrifyingly angry at him but I wasn't. Not an ounce of anger flowed through my body for Andreas, just sadness. I was frustrated with what the war was forcing Andreas to do, what I was being forced to say to him.

"Sarah!" That was papa's voice. I tore my gaze from Andreas and found papa. Papa was the only other person I wanted to see right then. We had always had a strong relationship and he always knew just the right thing to say. He knew how to listen and knew what level his voice should stay as he spoke to me. I loved my papa so much.

"Papa! Oh, papa!" I saw my papa in the crowd. He was holding mama's hand and rushing towards me. I started walking towards him when I turned back once more to find Andreas. He was no longer there. My breath was sucked literally right out of my entire body.

"Sarah, are you alright?" Papa asked me, taking me into his arms and holding me while I cried. Hannah was once again in the middle as papa, mama, Hannah and I held on to one another.

I pressed my face into papa's chest. I felt his arms fold around my body as he gently patted my head. He spoke so calmly to me, I almost forgot where we were. "We're free now, my child. Why are you crying so hard?"

I wanted so badly to tell him about Andreas, all the horrible things I had just said to him because he was leaving me. I decided not to right then. My parents had bigger things to think about rather my love life.

"I'm just so happy, papa."

That was the biggest lie that I had ever said in my life.

_Hello again! I know. It's taken me a long time to get this chapter out. I wanted it to be perfect or as perfect as I could get it to be. Please don't leave me angry reviews (actually i don't mind if you do lol. It makes me feel even more will power to continue writing at a reasonable pace!) I really, really hope that you like this one. I have no idea where it came from but I had just gotten over a huge case of writers block and decided to write about the first idea that I thought of and actually liked :) There will be many more chapters to come and I would love to hear any ideas where this story should go from now! Thanks so much to my readers and all the people who encourage me to keep writing. Have an awesome life :)_

_TwilightGirl14 _


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_"Be careful!" _

_I heard the caution in Andreas' voice. Looking down from the bedroom window I clung to, I smiled down at him. We both knew that I had done this at least a hundred times and only fell twice. But even then, Andreas still held out his arms under me. I quietly let go of the window edge and fell into his arms. _

_"How many times will I have to do this until you stop worrying so much?" I leaned in closer and playfully kissed the tip of his ice cold nose. His worried expression soon melted into a gentle smile. _

_"For the rest of our lives, I guess." Andreas picked up my frosty hands and rubbed it between his own, trying to thaw them out. We were once again behind my apartment in the ghetto where we always met each other. Dressed only in my wool dress and thin sweater, I shivered as a gust of icy wind blew. Slowly, he took off his thick green coat and draped it over my shoulders. I pulled the collar closer to my face, inhaling his wonderful, familiar scent. It was still warm from his body. _

_"So how have you been?" I asked him. _

_"I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about. Your getting thinner, Sarah." I saw through his eyes and felt how sympathetic he felt for not only me, but all the Jews in the ghetto. _

_I decided to try my hardest to lighten up the mood and make our time together as happy as I could. Letting go of his hand, I skipped away from him into the dark shadows of the alley that surrounded our apartment. I started whistling my favorite lullaby and twirling around. With my arms outstretched beside me, I stopped and stuck out my tongue towards the sky. I smiled as I felt the cool drops of snow cover my tongue. Andreas laughed behind me. It wasn't long until I felt his hands around my waist. Leaning my head back on his shoulder I started again, singing my lullaby. _

_"I know that song" Andreas said into my ear. "My mama used to sing it to me as a child as well." I listened as he joined in with my own voice, humming the soothing notes that both of us remembered. His voice was so much better than mine. While my voice was shaky and out of tune, his was smooth, hitting every note with perfection. _

_"Something wonderful happened today, Andreas." I swayed in his arms to the rhythm of his voice and mine. _

_"And what's that?" he said, kissing my neck gently. _

_"Well, today I woke up and went to see Llana. I found her sitting on her bed, holding a __**gorgeous**__, red rose. It turns out that Nathan had somehow found a single fresh rose peaking up from the filthy yard behind our house and had given to her." Andreas planted one last kiss on the edge of my neck._

_"That is wonderful." I turned and faced him. Our noses touched._

_"There is still life here, Andreas. There are still beautiful things that grow in our own backyards even in a place surrounded by so much pain." I noticed as Andreas realized what I meant. _

_"And there always will be, Sarah."_

I woke up with a start. I was drenched in sweat. Dry tears covered my face. I looked around to make sure that I was still in the same room as I fell asleep in. I was. I was still in the same, grey, filthy displaced person's camp. Mama, papa, Hannah and I had stumbled upon this place while looking for a hospital. It's where most of the people from Oskar Schindler's camp went.

"What is it, Sarah?" I turned towards Lev who was gently rubbing my back. He never slept yet still had enough energy to go about the rest of the day.

I had found him soon after reuniting with papa. He and Elijah had found me amidst all the chaos swirling around me. I had begged and pleaded for them to follow me, practically on my knees. I couldn't bare being separated from them for the rest of my life. Now that Andreas had left, I needed them to partially fill in the hole in my heart.

Omah and her younger brother Gabriel, however, I never did find again. Elijah, Lev and I had searched for as long as possible for them but she was no where to be seen. My world was literally breaking apart.

"Nothing. Just a nightmare." I leaned against Lev and shut my tear rimmed eyes. His frail arms held onto me tightly.

And here I was. Right back to where I started. Andreas was gone and I had no idea what to do with my life next. The hardest part of it though was the fact that Andreas and I had separated each other angry. I kept replaying every horrible thing I said to him a thousand times in my head. How could I have treated him so terribly? I was angry and upset that I would no longer be able to hold him, to kiss him, to see him. I would have given anything to just turn back time and take back everything I said to him that day. It was three months ago exactly. It felt like three years to me. Three endless years.

I opened my eyes and looked over at Elijah who was sleeping quietly beside us. I reached out my hand and touched his chilly cheek. I felt his breath hit my hand.

"It will be fine, Sarah. He'll come back."

I had neglected to tell Lev and Elijah exactly what happened that day Andreas left me. I didn't tell them what I had said to him in a fit of rage, why I was torturing myself so much. It was killing me inside to picture the look that came over Andreas' face when I shouted at him. _Just go, leave me! Just like before! _Each time I replayed what happened in my head, a wave of guilt washed over my entire body that made me want to die.

Death.

Of course I thought about death since I arrived at the DP's camp. I thought about killing myself once. I remember it quite vividly.

I was standing in the line for food with mama and papa. I had my cold, metal bowl in my hand as I stood, slightly swaying, waiting for the line to start moving again. A woman at one of the tables ahead of me was cutting slices of bread with a long, shiny knife. She was finishing up with the loaf when her attention drifted away and she accidentally cut her finger instead of the bread. Blood dripped off her finger and onto the bread slices. She stuck her oozing finger into her mouth and sucked out her blood. I thought to myself how it didn't look like she was in much pain after the slice she had made into her finger. I imagined myself stealing the knife and ending my life with a single plunge. The thought of ending all my suffering and be landed into the hands of God which seemed quite wonderful at the moment. Then I thought about all the people who I loved and who loved me. How could I beg Elijah and Lev to come with me just for me to kill myself and abandon them.

I had told Elijah about that time and listened to what he had to say.

"Sarah, one thing I need you to understand it that I need you just as much as you need me." I remember his words so clearly because of the fact that he broke out into tears as he said this. It was a long time of holding my dear friend, apologizing for what I thought to do to myself, under he calmed down.

That was the first of two times I ever thought about killing myself.

Lev held onto me tighter. I cried so hard that by the time I had finished, my chest hurt. My heart hurt, my throat hurt. I wanted so badly to turn back time and take back everything bad I had said to Andreas. I was so angry at myself that I wanted to hit something until they felt my pain.

"Tell me, Sarah. Why are you so upset? What is the real reason?"

Gathering what ever strength I had left, I told Lev everything that went on between Andreas and I the day we were liberated. I told him that I was upset at him for lying to me, telling me that he would never leave me again. I told him how I pushed him away and never said goodbye to him. Lev took my chin in his hand and tilted my face towards his. I had never noticed what beautiful facial features he had- perfect bone structure and full lips.

"Sarah, he knows that whatever bad things you said to him that day were words from anger and worry. He would never think that you actually meant those things you said to him. And he also would never leave you unless it was the last possible option to keep you safe."

I sat up and faced Lev. His eyes were teary and sad looking. I wiped his face with my sleeve and then my own. "I know, Lev. And everyday I have this huge sense of guilt to live with knowing that those might have been the last words I would ever say to him." I bit down on my bottom lip hard. My hands were clenched into tight fists. "I want to have him back, Lev. I'd do anything to have him back. I'd die to just hold him once more."

"Lets get some sleep, Sarah."

I closed my eyes as I felt his soft lips kiss my forehead. As soon as I saw him lay back down next to Elijah, I took my usual place by my parents and sister and prayed for the sweet relief of sleep to take me out of my painful world.

I woke up the next morning to the usual sounds of arguing people and tin bowls clattering. Hannah was getting better, stronger as the days passed on. She came by with her bowl and sat beside me. Her little fingers held the bowl with caution. They only give you so much food in the DP camps.

"How are you feeling, Hannah?" I asked her as I pulled myself upright.

"I'm feeling better. Well, actually I feel kinda guilty." I crawled closer to her and placed my hand on her head.

"Why's that?"

"Well, mama and papa keep giving me most of their food every day. I try to tell them that I'm not hungry because I see how hungry they get. I even hear mama's stomach crying sometimes." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. My poor sister was feeling guilty for eating the food mama and papa gave to her. I felt so sorry for her.

"Oh Hannah, don't feel guilty. You why?" She tilted her head up to me in confusion.

"Why?" Her tiny voice was muffled by oncoming tears.

"Because after everyone is asleep around here, and all the lights are shut off, mama and papa meet with one of the workers here. His name is Paco and he is their friend. Paco gives them more food to eat in secret, so no one else gets jealous." I smiled at her, hoping she would believe me. "They don't go hungry, Hannah. So don't feel guilty." She nodded her tiny head and leaned against my side.

"Good morning!" Elijah came up from behind us and put both his arms around our shoulders. He was in a cheery mood, as always. That was one of the reasons I hadn't gone completely insane in the DP camp. Elijah always made sure that the mood wasn't too depressing.

"Elijah!" Hannah carefully placed her bowl on the ground and jumped into his arms. She giggled and smiled with joy as he hugged her and sat her down on his lap. Elijah was Hannah's best friends. She told me.

I laughed to myself as I saw how happy Hannah immediately became with Elijah. He looked at me and smiled.

"You're going to need a hair cut soon" I said to him. Elijah's cropped hair was now at a normal length and healthier looking. Everything about him was healthier looking. He playfully took a strand of my hair in his hand and tugged it.

"So are you." I laughed and nudged him. My hair was slowly regaining it's color and strength. I had it tied up in a pony tail, despite Elijah's attempts to get me to have it down on my shoulder's again. I wasn't that confident yet.

"Hannah, I think some of your friends are outside playing baseball. They asked me to get you to play." Elijah made himself sound as excited as he possibly could. "They're waiting for you!"

Hannah beamed with excitement. She clumsily climbed off of his lap and ran outside. "I'll score a homerun for you, Elijah!" she squeaked out, waving at him. Once she was outside, Elijah's smiled faded and his expression turned serious.

"Sarah" he whispered.

"Did Lev tell you?" Elijah nodded his head and sat closer to me. I took hold of his hand. His usually warm fingers were cold and clammy.

"He'll be back and when he is, everything will be different in the best way imaginable." He squeezed my also cold fingers. I smiled, telling myself that Elijah was always right and that he would never tell me something if he didn't believe it himself.

Elijah was wrong.

_**Hello everyone! First, I'd like to say thank you sooo much for the really kind reviews I got from the last chapter. I had so much fun writing it just knowing where the story was going to go after! I hope you like this chapter even though nothing really important happened in it. I think that this chapter is going to be the "calm before the storm". I already know what's going to happen after it and I am absolutely and utterly excited to type it out!! Please send me any reviews or comments that you think could help me improve my story/writing or where you think this story should go! Like I said before, imagination is endless!**_

_**Thank you so much again for your support! Have an awesome week!**_

_**TwilightGirl14 **_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"How am I supposed to feed the children?!" A woman was screaming at the top of her lungs at her husband, I guessed. Everyone was watching them, including Elijah and I. She was older than me, maybe in her late thirties. Two children sat at her feet. Each one looked scared and confused over why their mother was yelling at their father. The woman shook her hand in his face, screaming. The man had a small suitcase in his hands.

"Goodbye, Charlotte" he said, walking out the doors of the shelter.

It was hot and humid that day. My hair was frizzy and messy on top of my head. My forehead was clammy and sticky from the heat. I was so uncomfortable and the sudden outburst I had just seen made it a hundred times worse for me.

"You see that, Elijah" I said, lounging out on the wooden floor under me. Resting my body on my elbows, I sighed. "I bet they were in love, once."

Elijah looked over his shoulder at the miserable woman behind him and shook his head. He sat cross legged to me, dressed in a simple white cotton shirt and brown, woolen pants. "People that are truly in love never give up on their relationship and walk out" he said. I lowered my head in shame and self disgust. "You didn't do that, Sarah. Don't you dare think that you gave up on Andreas just because you got scared and said some things you didn't mean."

I fell back on the floor. I stared up at the water stained ceilings, dirt coated walls and masses of people dragging themselves along the wooden floor. All of them had the same confused, shocked, painful look on their face. It hurt my to look at them.

"Sarah! Sarah, you got a letter!" Hannah came running over to me with a letter held high above her head. She waved it frantically in the air. I sat up quickly and took the paper from her hand. All three of us stared in disbelief at the letter that had come to me.

"Who's it from?!" Elijah asked frantically. I turned it over in my hand.

"I don't know. There's no return address." The envelope was hot and damp in my hands. With trembling fingers, I carefully tore open the tab and slid out the letter. It was crinkled and old. I read to myself, knowing that Elijah was doing the same over my shoulder.

_My Dear Sarah,_

_I'm not sure that I will be able to write this letter with out loosing my mind completely. _

_First, I want you to know how much I love you. That, I believe, is the most important thing of all. I love you and I'd like to thank you so much for all the love you have given back to me. _

_When I first saw you back in the ghetto, I knew that I had to meet you. Nothing can describe the urge I felt to know a person until I saw you. I knew that I was the last person you would want to talk to, a young Nazi officer with a gun and a uniform, but you gave me a chance. You saw right threw the uniform, something rarely anyone has ever done. You grabbed onto the love I had for you and never let go. _

_I know that our last time seeing each other wasn't one of our best moments. You were scared- I was scared. I knew that in order to keep you safe, I had to keep away from you. I didn't want you and your family to be at risk of being caught with a Nazi criminal. Even though I tried my best to help others, I knew that unlike you, the government wouldn't be able to see right through the uniform to the person I really am. _

_I can't tell you were I'm staying but I can tell you that I will come to visit you soon. I know that the things we said to one another were coming out of ourselves from pure fear of what was going to happen. I still love you more than ever and after what I've done to you, I don't expect you to come with me. I have left you so many times in the camp, with no word to where I was. I should've told you more information on where I was and what I was doing. But I just didn't want to risk you being caught due to me. I missed you more than the fine life I had before the war, Sarah. I missed you so much that I thought I was going to loose my mind with out you. So many times I thought about you. You were never far from my thoughts, Sarah. Never. _

_So, prepare yourself for a reunion. I'll be with you soon. Soon enough that we will never have to feel the pain of separation again. Stay with me, Sarah. I never left you, I had to give you up. I had no choice so please forgive me. I love you._

_ All my love, _

_ Andreas _

I sucked in a gulp of air, forgetting that I had stopped breathing. Tears burned in my eyes. Andreas was alive and still loved me. He would come for me and we would be together again. I wanted to jump up and down, I want to scream with relief. I turned to Elijah who was secretly brushing a tear from his eyes. I fell into him, crying with joy.

"He's coming back, Elijah" I cried. My fingers gripped the collar of his shirt and brought him closer to me. I breathed in and out slowly and started crying. Elijah placed his gentle hand on my back and laughed.

"I told you so."

Nothing could keep me from expressing my immense excitement for Andreas' homecoming. Every person in the DP's camp noticed my sudden change in mood. Mama and Papa were almost nervous for me.

"When's he coming, Sara?" mama asked me. I skipped over to her and grabbed her hands in mine.

"Soon" I said, waving the letter in the air. "He's coming back soon when it will be safe for us to be together." I hugged mama tightly. She laughed and patted my back gently.

As I was washing my hands in the sink, my image caught my eyes in the mirror. It had been a while since I had actually taken the time to care about my appearance. Dark circles outlined my eyes. My face had a little more meat on it as well as the rest of my body. Self consciously, I began smoothing out my frizzy, blondish, shoulder length hair.

"He won't care what I look like" a said to myself, smiling. He was finally coming back. He still wanted me and he knew that I still wanted him. It was the best moment of my life, for now.

It had been a week since I had received Andreas' letter. His letter and gold necklace were the two things that I always had with me. I kept his necklace hidden under my shirt. The fear of having it stolen was too risky in a camp of desperate, poor families. The letter soon became wrinkled and worn out from my reading it so many times. But I just couldn't help holding it so much and just imagine his voice in my head, reading it to me. I even fell asleep with it in my hands numerous nights. This letter and necklace were the closest things I had to Andreas until he returned.

I wondered what he had been doing since we last saw each other. Hiding, probably. I trembled at the thought of him hiding in the shadows of alleys, or in the tiny hiding spaces found in barns and abandoned buildings. Where was he now? Right at this moment? Was he thinking of me? _That was selfish, _I thought to myself. I hoped that he was just thinking about where it would be safe to sleep tonight, not about me.

As more and more days passed, I became more and more anxious and impatient for his return. My excitement I felt before was turning into pure fear and anxiety. Had something gone wrong? He sent me the letter exactly two months ago. Two excruciating months that seemed to take a life time to pass.

"He's probably just saving up money" Elijah said to me one night. He knew the most how hard this was getting for me, waiting for a moment that seemed to become less and less promising. But I vowed to myself to never, ever, ever give up hope on Andreas. Not after everything he had done for me.

"Saving money for what?" I asked. It was late and everyone but us were sleeping.

"A ring, maybe?" I could hear the smile in his words. I blushed, thinking about how wonderful that would be if he proposed to me the day he came back. Just thinking about the life we could have together gave me goose bumps up and down my arms.

"I don't care about those kinds of things right now, Elijah. Of course, it would be wonderful if we were to marry so soon, but I just want him back here, in my grasp, forever." I fought back tears. I saw the look in his eyes change when I said this.

"He'll be here soon, Sarah. I promise."

It was a while before I was able to fall asleep. Elijah and I, like most nights, talked until the early morning. He repeatedly reassured me how difficult it is to move around the country now, **especially** if you were wanted. The idea of Andreas being a criminal was so ridiculous. It made me want to scream when ever he was referred to as that.

There was a small group gathered around outside the DP's registry office, waiting to be assisted. I was walking with Elijah and papa that day. It was cooling down by then. It was also going into the third month since Andreas' letter came. I pulled my old, worn out, woolen sweater closer to my face with one hand and squeezed Elijah's in the other. We all knew that something was wrong just by the look on the small crowds faces.

"What's going on, papa?" I looked over at him and asked again. He had a strange look on his face that scared me. He knew something that I didn't.

"I don't know, Sarah." He paused. "Let's turn around and go home. It's getting chilly out now." He looked over at Elijah who was just as confused as I was and practically demanded with his eyes to take his hint. Then, one of the talking voices in the small crowd grew louder, loud enough for us to hear.

"We promised him to tell Sarah if anything ever happened to him!" My name snagged at my attention from the group. It was a woman's voice and she sounded angry at someone.

"Come on, Sarah." Elijah started pulling the other way, but I knew that something was wrong. And I wasn't leaving until I found out what all the commotion was over there.

I snatched my hand out of his and ran towards the group of five or six people. They were all dressed nicely, and all looked like they were from the country.

"Excuse me" I said to them. They were all talking in thick, German accents to each other. They looked like a family. There were two young children, a boy and a girl, a teenaged son and a wife that stood close to her tall husband.

"Yes?" the husband said to me in a heavy British accent. _British? Why were British civilians traveling to a DP camp in Poland?_

"Are you looking for a Sarah?" I asked anxiously. _If anything ever happened to him…_

All five of them looked at me with curious eyes. I asked them again, this time with more urgency in my voice. Elijah and papa came running up behind me. I kept my eyes on the man who looked like he had been through a few rough nights. He had light brown hair and a beard that reached down to his chin. He was taller than myself, papa or Elijah. I stepped closer to him and, titling my head back, I asked him my question again.

"Yes, in fact we are. We're looking for a Sarah Simberstein." I froze. My mouth instantly went dry and my stomach fell. The man and all his family noticed this and came closer to me. Papa put a firm hand on my shoulder while Elijah watched in alarm. His eyes were glued to my face, I could feel them.

"I'm Sarah Simberstein." I held my breath. No one in the family moved. "What's happened? Where's Andreas?" Papa's hand gripped tighter on my shoulder. The woman stepped in front of the man and took in a deep breath. I knew what she was about to say but didn't want to believe it. _No, no, no, no, no…_

"I'm so sorry, Sarah" the wife said in a raspy voice. "Andreas is dead."

_**Hello again! I really hope you liked this chapter. It was sooo awesome to type out from my mind and finally be able to put it up on FanFic!! I also know that it's taken awhile to update but with end-of-the-year tests and finals, I don't have a lot of free time anymore:( BUT school is almost over (13 days, yes i'm counting every second!) and that will give me soo much more time to update! please, leave reviews with things that I should add/change for the final copy. Thanks again for the absolutly fabulous reviews I got!! Have an awesome week everyone!!**_

_**TwilightGirl14**_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Sarah!" I felt my shoulders being picked up and gently shaken. "Sarah, wake up!" Elijah's voice rang in my ears followed by more shaking. My eyelids were so heavy. They had never felt this heavy before. My head hurt too. What had happened?

"Sarah, can you hear me? It's papa." I took in a large gulp of air and opened my heavy eye lids. Hovering over me was papa and Elijah. Both of them held their breath as I tried to speak.

"Andreas…" I felt the world around me begin to spin again as I remembered what the woman had told me. Had I passed out from the instant wave of shock? Elijah picked up my limp, frozen hand in his and began rubbing it between his.

"Stay still, Sarah" papa said quickly. I tried blinking out the fuzziness but the pain in my head distracted me from my surroundings. "Elijah, we need to bring her to the hospital right now."

I felt Elijah's arms slide under my body and lift me up. I tried protesting but everything was still in such a fog. My head pounded against every single nerve cell I had and made me want to scream. "Where is Andreas! He's not dead, Elijah please, put me down! I Have to find him…" I cried out loud. I soon regained all my senses and started wiggling my way out of Elijah's arms.

"Sarah, please" he said, trying to set my flailing body down. "Listen to me!" Firmly, Elijah grabbed both of my shoulders in an iron lock and held me in place. I couldn't even try to get away. I wanted to though. I needed to find Andreas. But the look in Elijah's eyes told me that I had to hear him. "He's gone, Sarah."

Tears fell from my eyes like never before. I felt almost like the way I did when I learned of Nathan and Llana's death. A huge hole formed in my chest, piercing through my heart with an unbelievable force. My heart, piece by piece, tore apart inside me. It hurt, so much. I could feel the impact of grief rattle in my chest. Andreas was dead. "No! He's not dead! He's not! He's not! He's not!" It wasn't long until I involuntarily began punching and shoving Elijah away from me. I was so angry. I needed to hit something to release the amount of frustration and hurt I was feeling. I wanted to hit something until they felt the pain I felt. Elijah barely even flinched and kept his hold on my shoulders. Papa stepped closer and watched, confused what to do. I had never, ever acted in such a crazy manner before and I couldn't blame him for just standing there.

"I know it hurts, Sarah. I know" Elijah whispered, pulling me closer to him. I stopped my pathetic attempts in freedom for his grasp and clung to him with all my might. I bit my lip to keep from screaming. This wasn't fair! Andreas wasn't supposed to be dead! We were going to get married, have children, so many things that now, we would never be able to do.

"Elijah" I cried out. "It hurts so bad." Heavy sobs erupted inside my chest. "Please, don't ever leave me. You are all I have left now, please…"

"Hush, Sarah." Elijah took my face between both his hands and tilted my face up to his. A gentle smile broke out across his face. I didn't smile back, but I appreciated so much how much he cared about me.

Meanwhile, papa heard everything I said to Elijah. He heard when I told him that I only would ever need Elijah. It hurt him to hear that. It hurt him more than you actually had thought. All my life, papa had been the one man I depended on. He and my brother were the men of the house, taking on the roles of always being there for their family. I hadn't realized how badly I had forgotten about him amidst all my grief of that day. I would later realize what the meaning of the word "guilt" meant.

The rest of the day was a fog. The family that told me the news of Andreas' death had agreed to come with me, back to the DP's camp and explain to me how they knew him. We all walked in silence. Papa had a strange look on his face that I couldn't quite read. He never spoke to me or even looked at me. I wondered if he was mad at me or sorry for me.

"Sit down, Sarah. We'll tell you everything." The woman took my shoulders and sat me down in a small private room. It was just me and the family. Elijah had wanted to come in with me but this was something that I needed to confront by myself. The woman sighed and sat down, pulling her small child on her lap. "Andreas was my sister's child, my nephew. We all knew about how his father had pushed him severely into joining the Nazi Youth Organization. We lived close to each other so he was often at our house. He told us everything, Sarah. Night after night, even as a young boy, he would come to us with his problems. It seemed to everyone that he thought of Herman and I as his parents instead of his real ones." She set down her child on the ground again. "When he first joined the Nazi Youth, we all knew how much he hated it since the first day. 'To many orders, Auntie Marie' he would say. But for the sake of his family, he returned, day after day. When he got older, he went from just following orders and beliefs that he realized were pointless, to realizing that he had a tiny ounce of power in this world. He had, even though minuscule compared to some others, some kind of control and decided that he would use it for the better of man. That's when he volunteered as a guard in Warsaw ghetto. Only Herman and I knew what he was really doing there. The first time he smuggled out a family, he didn't talk to his parents for a week. He couldn't. Even thought he knew he was doing the right thing, he felt as if he was betraying his own parents." Marie ran her fingers through her messy, blonde hair. This was just as hard for her to talk about than it was for me to hear. Herman came over and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder and continued from where she left off.

"After the second and third time of successfully smuggling out families from the ghetto, he knew that this was what he was meant to do. He truly believed that God put him on this Earth for a reason. To save people from his own. We were both unbelievably shocked, and proud of him for what he was doing. No one ever thought that the lanky, thirteen boy living next to us would grow up into a strong eighteen year old German Nazi Youth wanting to save Jews." Herman shook in his head, still impressed with his nephew. "You were the fourth family, Sarah. I understand that your parents made it out safely. But your brother and his girlfriend didn't, did they?" He looked at me with sad, tired eyes as I nodded my head. Tears fell off my face thinking of Nathan and Llana. "I'm sorry, my dear. Oh but Sarah, you were really all he ever talked to us about. My goodness, every night Andreas would finish his shift, go home for a few hours and then come to our house just to tell us about you." A sad, smile passed across my face and soon left. How much more could I possibly take of this? "He told us all about you, your family and the plans he had for you. He was going to smuggle you out within just a matter of weeks after he met you. He never slept, Sarah, knowing that you were still in the ghetto where at any time, your life could end. It absolutely killed him."

Marie dabbed her eyes with a white napkin she pulled from her purse. "After you were liberated from the camp, Andreas came back to us." My heart jumped out from my chest. Marie passed me her napkin slowly to wipe my eyes. "In all my thirty eight years of living, I had never seen a person in such grief before. He didn't eat, didn't sleep. He told us about how hard it was to leave you just when you were free and how he had lied to you just to keep himself from being driven insane with grief. He wanted us to tell you that if anything should ever happen to him…" Marie lowered her head, breathing heavily to keep from crying. "To tell you that he loved you, that he was sorry and that he wanted you to live on. He said that the last thing he would ever want is for you to live a life of pain because of his death. He wanted you to move on, marry, and have the life she always wanted, Sarah, not matter how much you wouldn't want to."

Out of all the pain my heart was in right then, I managed to utter out a few words. My throat was tight and my body was still numb, but I had to ask this question. "How did he die?" Marie, and Herman looked up at me. All the rest of the children were busy entertaining themselves by the far end of them room.

"Are you sure your ready for that, Sarah?" I nodded my head and stared at them. I needed to know. There was no way that I could go on and start a life all over again if I didn't know what ever happened to my first love. "He was hiding with us, in our home for a little while. Nobody, not even his parents knew where he was. He made us swear not to tell them he was with us." She breathed in sharply. "Everything was going fine until the American War Trial investigators made an unexpected raid in our town. They had just found three hiding Nazis and had a feeling that there were more somewhere. They were very forward with their searches. They wasted no time and literally tore apart the house looking for him. Eventually, there was no where else Andreas could hide from their eyes and was found. A week later, even after our numerous visits to him and explanations of what he did for four families in the ghetto, we got a letter saying that he had put to death by the American government for 'crimes against humanity'. Can you believe that? What crime was it to save helpless families from there eventual death? I just hope that they were quick and he didn't feel much pain."

My eyes swelled to their capacity with hot, tears. I brought up my knees to my face and hid in them. "Oh God, this is all my fault!" I cried, moaned, screamed as Herman and Marie wept. I had never, except for my papa and brother, seen a man cry for so long before. Herman was in a wreck, and so was everyone else. The children watched in silence as their parents and this strange girl cried for a while.

"Thank you both for telling me this." Still in mid cry, I crawled over to the couple and wrapped my arms around the two of them at the same time. We all held each other for a long time, silently crying for Andreas. "I miss him so much" I cried out loud. "Why did he have to die?"

"Sarah" Herman said. "Why does anyone have to die? Death just happens. I think that it's the one thing in this world that doesn't discriminate against anyone." He patted my head gently and wiped away my tears. "He loved you, Sarah. Be grateful that you had what you had with each other." I hugged him tightly, suddenly feeling like I had known him all my life. Just the way he spoke, his accent thick with British knowledge, made me feel so calm even during the hardest day of my life.

Herman, Marie and their children weren't able to stay very long. They only came to deliver the news about Andreas to me and then had to go back home.

"Thank you so much for telling me in person. Somehow, it felt easier to hear it then read it or find out for myself." I hugged them all tightly, not wanting this kind family to leave me. They could've just written me a half-page letter explaining that Andreas was dead, gone, never to be seen of again. But they didn't. They traveled all this way into the slime and depression of a DP camp to tell me personally.

"Be well, Sarah" Marie told me.

Months went by in complete torture. Six months to be exact. We soon found a small hotel that was renting out its rooms for a very cheap price for survivors of the death camps. Papa found a job in construction just like he was doing before the war. They liked the amount of knowledge and creativity he had and the amount of effort he put into his work. Papa was always telling us that effort was the only thing that mattered when working. If you didn't give it your all for your work, it would just be a waste of time. Mama got a job cleaning houses for the people living around us. They were mostly German but she didn't care. The war was over, we had no money and she needed a job to pay for our room in the hotel.

Lev died not long after I learned of Andreas' death. It was so painful for Elijah to loose the one person he loved in a way that not many people ever feel. Lev had been the victim of numerous experiments performed a few years ago while stationed in Dachau. They subjected him to water temperature experiments, and skin studies where they took many samples of his skin, sometimes in larger quantities, and studied the different colors a person's skin could be. They even purposely gave him a sunburn that gave him a bad case of heat stroke just to see how darker skin burns. I hadn't known any of that until he had gotten sick. His body was just too weak to live any longer. This came at such a great shock to everyone, especially me. Lev had never given any complaints about his health to anyone before. He was so strong, stronger than most of us, that we never thought that he would die.

Elijah held him for days while he was dying. Never once did he leave his love in pain. It made me so sick to watch one of my best friends lay on a tiny cot, coughing and wheezing. His bones were so brittle and when they lifted his shirt, I couldn't believe how badly he was burnt. White, blotchy skin covered his chest and legs. I couldn't stay in the room while they examined. The first time I saw him, I got sick and had to run to the bathroom.

We all knew that he wasn't going to live any longer. The day he died was so black and morbid. It was just Elijah and I in the room when he took his final breaths. He told me how much he loved me and how lucky he was to ever meet a girl as beautiful and strong as me. I kissed him gently on the lips and told him my last goodbye that I never want to think about again. They were too painful and sad to ever mention again.

Elijah kissed him long and softly as Lev took in his final gasps of air. I can still hear the screams Elijah made when he died. Heart retching, painful screams that were only made when someone you loved died.

In a very morbid kind of way, I counted Elijah lucky. He was there with his love when they died. He knew for a fact that his love didn't die alone, that he was the last person they saw before God took them away.

God.

I stopped believing in God after Andreas died. I actually ended up hating God and any other form of religion after he died. I had given God so much of my energy and time, giving all I had to him. And how did he repay me? He killed my brother, best friends I ever had, and Andreas. The one person I ever loved. No, I stopped giving into a God that showed no mercy of peace. Papa and mama were very disappointed with me at first but then understood that it was my life and I should be able to believe in anything that I wanted to.

Elijah had agreed to live with us after just one time of me asking him. He had no one, and no where else he could possibly go. We were they only ones to keep him safe from the rest of the cold world and himself. No longer was he the cheery, high spirited person I met. He had let himself go completely, mentally and physically. He lost weight, let his hair grow long and eyes remain in the same state of sadness and despair that mine held too. We hardly ever spoke to anyone any more, and lived in a constant state of grief. We both knew how each of us were feeling and how much pain we were in. Nothing anybody ever did could cheer us up. Not even on my nineteenth birthday when my mama baked me a large, chocolate cake.

"Now, Sarah, please" I remember her saying to me later that night after not touching the delicious cake. "He's gone, but honey, you know he's not forgotten. He's always around you. He's here right now." Mama pointed her hand in all different directions around my small bedroom. "He's always watching you and I bet is just as sad as you are that your-"

"Stop it mother!" I snapped at her. She looked shocked. "He's dead! Andreas is dead, and he's never coming back. He's not here, around us. He's rotting in some pit somewhere." Mama looked hurt.

"God works-"

"In mysterious ways?" I cut off again. "Mama, I have to live with the fact that Andreas was murdered for no reason at all. He was a hero branded as a criminal! God doesn't exist for me or anyone! Why would God let the Nazis find Nathan and Llana that night? Why didn't he distract the guards at that exact moment with plane in the sky or an emergency telephone call to the guards on duty that night? God allowed them to kill your son, mama. God killed your son, my brother, Llana and Andreas." I had managed to say all that with just one breath. Mama looked so sad that I had to turn away from her face. She had nothing left to say to me. Getting up, I heard her let out a silent cry. Had I gone to far by bringing Nathan up? I didn't mean to hurt her feelings but I needed her to know how I felt.

As soon as the door closed behind her, I buried my face into my pillow and cried. Throughout the entire night, I cried, moaned and screamed into my pillow. Nobody bothered me. They knew that I would probably snap on them like I had on mama. I thought about checking in on Elijah but he was just as depressed as me then too. Maybe we could find some comfort in our own words of grief.

I rolled off my bed very early the next morning and dragged myself towards my door. I twisted the handle and slowly pulled it open.

"Elijah" I breathed out. He stood in front of my door, a look of apathy on his face. His head was down and his arms dangled at his sides. No other words were spoken. None needed to be. We both knew for sure how the other was feeling. The only thing we didn't know was how to deal with it.

_**Hello! Well, this chapter was one of the easiest one to write so far, I don't know why. It was super fun to write and exciting to think of all the ways I can continue from here! I'm so excited to here what you guys think about this chapter!! Have an awesome week everyone!**_

_**TwilightGirl14**_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"How long do you plan to stay alone, Sarah?" Elijah whispered from across my bed. We both sat up, facing each other. It was around noon time and everyone in the apartment had gone off to work. My job was to take care of Hannah while the others were gone.

"What?" Elijah's question caught me very off guard. It was the first time either of us had spoken in about an hour. The rest of the time was spent sitting in silence, wanting to speak but having nothing to say. "What do you mean?"

"You can't stay alone forever, Sarah. How long do you plan on being alone?" he mumbled. Elijah pulled up the thin blankets over my bed and climbed in, exhausted. What was he talking about? Why was he asking me this?

"I can't put a time limit to my affection, Elijah." I watched as he sighed and pulled the covers over his face. It wasn't long until I heard him softly crying. How did he have any tears left in his body to cry? Crying was the only thing we had done for months, all day and all night.

"I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, Sarah. I want him back!" I pulled over the other half of the blankets and climbed in next to Elijah, hugging him tightly. His growing beard felt prickly on my face.

It felt so strange for a moment, lying with Elijah and hearing his cries. He was right. How long would I let myself get deeper and deeper into my pit of despair? Andreas would have hated to me to live like this. It's a waste of a life, living in grief. Too many things that I should be grateful has happened to me. I met Andreas, I met Llana, I was sent to Oskar Schindler's camp instead of Auschwitz, Hannah hadn't died from her illness, I was reunited with mama and papa, we were liberated from the camp. I needed to honor the fact that I was alive and so was my family, well most of them. I needed to remember all those wonderful memories I had made with Andreas and not let them ever go.

I tightened my hold on the necklace Andreas had given me. It was warm and smooth in my fist. I felt my pulse beat hard in my palm as I squeezed the precious necklace.

My time of living in pain was now over. And it was for Elijah too.

"Elijah, get up. It's time." I could tell he had no idea what I was talking about. He looked at me in confusion. "Our time is over. We need to start living again. It's what they would have wanted us to do." I twisted the necklace still in my hand.

Elijah sat up. "Sarah, I don't think I can." His eyes were red and tired looking. I knew for sure then that I couldn't let Elijah, or myself even, grow old this way. I had to be the one person Elijah had left to force him to live again.

"Oh yes you can. We both are. We can do this, Elijah. As long as we have this, this bond we have created, we can do it." I could tell that he wasn't convinced enough. "Please Elijah, for me?"

He let his head drop to his chest. He knew that he couldn't resist not doing something for me that was so important. Slowly, he lifted his hand to his eyes and wiped away his last tear. I smiled. I loved him so much right then. I knew that he wasn't just wiping away his tears from his face, he was wiping away all grief etched into it as well. He stiffly got up and took my hand in his. They were cold and limp in mine.

"First, we have to clean up. Go to the bathroom and take a shower then I'll cut your hair and beard." I followed him with my eyes as he dragged himself to the bathroom and closed the door. I tip toed my way to the small window that faced opposite of my bed. The sun was shining in, warm and bright. It made me think so much of the night Andreas and I celebrated his nineteenth birthday. It was a hot, summer day, just like today. The sun felt the same. It smelt the same.

"Please, Andreas" I whispered to myself, leaning against the window frame for support. "Please, tell me that I'm doing the right thing." I needed a tiny sign from him, just to know that I was doing the right thing. "I'll always love you, you know. I will never, ever forget you."

"Where are the scissors?" Elijah startled me, causing me to jump slightly. He stood in the middle of the door frame, dressed in white cotton shorts and a gray undershirt. His long, brown hair, shagged over his eyes and dripped with water. I smiled and laughed quietly.

"Right here." I held up the scissors I had grabbed a few minutes ago. "You look better already" I said, walking over to him and throwing my arms around his waist. I felt him hold me gently and rest his head on my shoulder.

"Do you think this will work?" His question sounded uncertain and nervous. I patted his back.

"Of course. I promise you."

After and hour, our transformations were complete. I had given Elijah a much needed hair cut and shaved off his beard. The boyish, very handsome look was visible again. He looked so much more healthier than before. His light, brown eyes shone bright again. His skin was clean and smooth. His hair was shorter than before by only a few inches. It was amazing what a simple shower and hair cut could do to a person. And even though he still acted the same inside, I knew that his new appearance will help will the healing process.

I decided to let Elijah cut my hair also. It was long, almost down to the small of my back. We both agreed that having it cut to my shoulders and allowing it to grow back healthier was the best thing to do. I watched as golden locks of my hair fell to the ground around me. It almost made me want to cry. I had never cut my hair this short before and it felt weird to be doing now. My hair was apart of me. It was one of my trade marks. Everyone who knew me always remembered my long, blonde hair too.

"What do you think?" Elijah held up a small mirror in front of my face. A small smile formed on his lips. It was the first time in a very long time since I saw him smile. The girl in the mirror stared back at me with tears in her eyes. Her hair was now just below her chin at a very adult length. It was much curlier than before due to it being so much shorter. The golden curls surrounded her face and gave it more shape. It was different but she liked it and so did Elijah. It gave her a totally new appearance and face. She loved it and loved the fact that it allowed her start over completely, beginning with a new hair cut.

Baby steps, I thought. This hole in my heart wasn't going to heal in one afternoon. We needed time to start over and rebuild our lives.

"I love it, Elijah. You did a great job." I turned my head towards him who stood behind me, still holding the mirror. "Thank you" I whispered. Elijah smiled sweetly and kissed my forehead.

"I'll check on Hannah. She's probably still playing at the house next door, but I'll just make sure everything is okay." Elijah helped me take off the sheet that lay on top on me and rolled it up. "I'll be right back" he said, opening the door and running across the road to the house next to us. Elijah was an extraordinary man. The one thing that hadn't changed since the death of Lev was how much he cared for Hannah. He was just like Nathan, always looking out for Hannah and worrying about her safety. It made me more relaxed knowing that Hannah had an entire houseful of people that would do anything for her.

I sat back down in the old, wooden chair I was just in and rested me head on the back frame. Everything was going to be alright, I told myself.

"Sarah!" Mama threw her coat on the floor and came running towards me with Hannah trailing close behind her. Both had surprised looks on their faces. "Sarah, you cut your hair! It's all gone!" Mama ran her fingers threw it gently and looked at me. Papa waited in the corner of the kitchen, putting away the groceries. Still, so quiet ever since I found out about Andreas death.

"I thought, well we thought, that it might be best for us to start over fresh." I grabbed Elijah's hand in mine and looked at him for help. He smiled and turned to mama and papa.

"I think that we have had enough of living this way. We need to stop living in the past." He looked slightly uncomfortable as he spoke. His eyes darted from me, to mama, to the floor and then back to me.

"I think you look beautiful. Both of you." Mama kissed my cheek and Elijah's. I think that she was almost as happy we were living again as we were.

"Papa?" I called my father's name from across the room. "Papa, do like it?" Just one full sentence from him would have been fine. I missed his voice and his laugh.

"Nice" he said coldly. I felt my throat swell. What had I done to papa to make him so neglectful towards me? He stood, staring at me, through me, like I wasn't even there. He wasn't angry with me, he was hurt. I needed to know why.

I asked mama and Elijah if they could leave for a while so I could talk to papa alone. Grabbing papa's hand and sitting him down at the kitchen table, I let out my question. "Papa, did I do something wrong?" He stared at me with sad eyes. His hands were folded on top of the table we sat at. I reached out and touched them.

"No, my daughter. I did." Papa reached out his hand and cupped my cheek in his palm. There was something that he wasn't telling me and that was eating him up inside.

"Papa, just tell me." I swallowed hard and listened to my papa's voice echo throughout the room.

He breathed in deeply and lowered his head. "I knew about Andreas' death before you did, Sarah." Words could not explain how confused I was at that moment. What did he mean he knew about Andreas' death before I did?

"But his family came to tell us in person-"

"There was a letter that came not long after the one from Andreas got to you. It was from the family themselves. It was addressed to you and I opened it, read it and hid it from you." He looked down at the table, ashamed of himself.

Anger rose up in me. "Why would you do that? You let me think that he was alive for months without telling me! You allowed me to sit, day after day, week after week, outside the DP camp and wait for someone who was already dead?!" I stood up, my chair falling backwards behind me. Papa got up too.

"Now listen to me, Sarah. We had just been liberated from a forced labor camp and you were already getting mail from around the world. I worried it was something bad, an arrest notice, a _**death**_ notice for you…I was scared for my daughter."

"It _**was **_a death notice for me papa!" My words cut threw me. Papa ran his fingers threw his hair in frustration. Never before had I been so upset at my own papa before. "And _after_ you read it and realized what it really was?" My blood boiled in my veins.

"I didn't want to take away the only hope you had left in your life. I would've died than have you plunged back into the darkness from something as simple as a letter. It was stupid, Sarah, I realize that. But I am your father and I was only trying to protect you from more pain. You've been through too much. We all have." The tension was poisonous. "I feel terrible and when the family came, I knew that I couldn't keep you away from the news any longer."

Papa knew Andreas was dead long before I did. He kept it a secret from me. He loved me too much to be the one to tell me the worst news of my life. Was I supposed to be angry at him? How could I be when all he was trying to do was protect his daughter's feelings? My heart rate slowed down in my chest and my blood simmered down. Papa burst out into tears. Why was he so upset about this? What was the real reason for his grief?

"Papa" I said quietly, stepping closer to him. He sat down at the table again and cried into his hands. "Papa, why are you so upset? I'm sorry I got mad at you, and I understand why you kept the news a secret from me. Please papa, stop crying." My papa lifted his face from his cupped hands and looked at me. The creases in his tired face were filled with tears.

"It should've been us, Sarah. It should've been us, not them." He repeated this several times, each time more mournful as the next.

"What are you talking about, papa?"

"Nathan and Llana, my child. If we hadn't let them talk us into going first, they would still be alive. They would be here together, not us." His voice cracked and choked on his words. My papa was choking on his own words.

I opened up my arms and wrapped them around my papa. He was trembling, saying over and over again how much he regretted going first. He felt so guilty. So did I then. Not once while I was holding my papa did I tell him that it _wasn't_ his fault Nathan and Llana were dead. I didn't blame my papa for surviving at all. It was what Nathan and Llana planned and wanted. But I didn't tell him what I knew papa wanted to hear deep down in his heart. I couldn't for some reason, and for that, I wanted to die. What kind of a daughter doesn't tell their own papa they were glad that he was alive? Was I really that terrible? I was just so upset that Nathan had died. I would never be able to talk to him again. Never again would I be able to share my deepest regrets and secrets with him. Never again would we be able to argue. And Llana, a girl who risked her own life just to save mine. She would never grow old with Nathan.

But I loved my parents so much. I couldn't express the feeling of relief and joy I felt that day we were reunited with each other back in Oskar Schindler's office. I needed them. I loved them. And, I had them. So many other kids my age lost their parents. I still had mine. I still had mine.

The second time I thought about death had just occurred.

_**Hello, again! Well school is finally over and I'm so excited to have all this free time to concentrate more on writing!! This chapter focused mainly on Sarah and Elijah's dealing with both of their lover's death. I felt that i needed to dedicate an entire chapter on their feelings to try to get by how much pain they were really in. I hope it worked! Well, i have something planned for the next few chapters and can't wait to type them up! Thank you for the suggestions i got. They will definatly be taken into consideration for the future of this story. Have the best week and an awesome start to the summer everyone!!**_

_**TwilightGirl14**_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_"Sarah, are you alright?" Nathan leaned up against the door frame to my room. Both his arms were crossed and he was staring at me with complete focus. I knew what this meant. The only time he did this was when he knew I was hiding something from him. _

_"Yeah, I'm fine, Nathan. Why do you ask?" I slipped the necklace Andreas gave to me back under my shirt and looked at him. He pushed himself off the door and made his way over to me. _

_"I don't know" he said, sitting down beside me. "You've been really different lately. Ever since we moved into this hell hole, I don't know." I could tell he was having trouble talking to me. He really was concerned about me. I laughed. "You've been really…happy, I guess is what I'm trying to say."_

_"Happy?" Was my happiness with being around Andreas that noticeable?_

_"Yeah. Whether it's smiling all the time or never complaining about anything, you always seem to be calm and at ease." Nathan turned his head and stared at me again. "It's not a boy, right?" Embarrassment and happiness washed over me. Poor Nathan. He was always trying to protect me from other boys. I remember the first time I told him about a crush I had on Lon, a classmate of mine. He told me specifically that "boys should be the last thing I should be thinking about". _

_I couldn't possibly tell him about my attraction and relationship with Andreas. Nathan would never approve of any boy for me, especially a boy that was a member of the Nazi Youth. _

_"No, Nathan" I lied. I hated lying and especially to Nathan. "The only boys in my life are you and papa." I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice smooth and convincing. _

_"So there's nothing I should be worried about, right?" His intense stare on me alone almost made me crack. _

_"Only the present." I smiled at him. Nathan and I were a year apart and still so much alike. We knew how the other spoke and what they thought. It was probably why we were so close. _

_"Good. I thought either two things were making you so happy all the time." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I hugged him tightly. _

_"What's that?" _

_"Well, you either had a boyfriend that you weren't telling me about which doesn't surprise me." Both of us laughed. "Or you were simply loosing your mind." My quiet chuckling turned into roaring laughter at my brothers strange theories. _

_"Dinner is ready soon" Nathan said, getting up. I realized how thin he was becoming as he walked away from me. This immediately moistened my eyes and made me feel sick. _

_"Nathan" I called out before he left. He turned around and looked at me. His body may have looked thin but I could see a spark in him that created a glow around him. A spark that I knew the creator of. Llana. Maybe his concern about my happiness was because he felt the same way at the time. He knew what it was like and how a person acted when they cared for someone. _

_I cleared my throat. "I love you" I said, not allowing my voice to show the tears that it held. He looked at me and smiled. "I just haven't told you in a while, but I do."_

_Nathan came back to me and kissed the top of my head gently. "I love you too, Sarah." Nathan and I had a very strong relationship. We didn't often say that we loved each other but it was known. A silent bond, we liked to refer it to. _

_As he pulled away, I tugged on a lock of his brown, wavy hair that was becoming longer than he usually wore it. "Cut your hair, Nathan" I teased. "I'm sure Llana would want to see your eyes as she stares at you from across the room." Nathan's cheeks became bright red. _

_"Thanks" he said, tussling my hair. "Come down in ten minutes." _

_After a very interesting dinner of potatoes and warm soup, I couldn't wait to get away for the only reason I wasn't loosing my mind. I knew that Andreas was waiting for me outside my window at our usual place and time. _

_I threw the last of the plates into the sink and started running back to my room. I was zipping up my sweater when I saw Llana come in. She looked so beautiful with her hair down tonight. Why she hid it up it pony tails so often I never understood. _

_"Hello, Llana" I said, anxious to get outside but not wanting to seem rude by leaving her suddenly. She obviously wanted to talk by the way she stood , fidgeting and twirling her dress between her fingers nervously. _

_"Hello, Sarah. Do you have a moment to talk with me?" She nervously tucked a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear. _

_"Of course." I unwillingly peeled myself away from my window and sat down on my bed with her. She needed me and I couldn't abandon her then. I hoped Andreas would understand for my lateness. _

_"I need to tell you something that has been constantly on my mind lately. And I can't really tell anyone else about it because I think I'd be a little embarrassed about it. I don't know when it happened and I don't know how but I feel that I'll explode if I don't tell that person and I can't wait any longer and I can't sleep and I feel like maybe he feels the same way sometimes and-"_

_"Llana!" She was rambling like a nervous child on their first day of school. "You can tell me anything. You don't have to be embarrassed about anything with me." I put my arm around her shoulders and hugged her. She hugged me back graciously and smiled, exposing almost every tooth she had. _

_"I feel a sort of pull towards your brother like I had never felt before." Her words didn't surprise me at all. I knew that she liked Nathan from the first night they met. All those times playing eye-tag at the dinner table and little favors they've been doing for each other gave me the impression that they had affection growing for each other. _

_"I see. What are you worried about then?"_

_"Do you think he has feelings for me?" Llana picked at her fingernails and looked at me. _

_"There's only one way to know, Llana. Go ask him." My words gave her little reassurance. Her eyes widened and she giggled nervously. _

_"Alright. Thanks, Sarah." She kissed both my cheeks quickly and then ran back to her room, know doubt thinking about what to say to Nathan. _

_Had I not given Sarah the advice to make her feelings known to Nathan, would things be different? What would've happened the year we were together? They were absolutely and utterly in love with each other. Nothing anyone could have done would've torn them apart. _

I sat up in bed, shaking and drenched in seat. How many more dreams would I have that were a reflection of my past? Every time I dreamt of Nathan or Llana or even Andreas, it always ended the same way. My dream would come to a sudden, abrupt end, everything swirling into a puddle or memories in front of me.

My hair clung to my sticky face. Brushing it away, I felt Andreas' necklace tremble around my neck.

"I see you're still wearing it." Andreas sat beside me on my bed and laughed. His head was tilted towards me and his smiled faded. "You ok, Sarah."

"Yeah. I just feel kind of bad right now. I feel like when ever I try to push you out of my mind, I'm letting you go." A single, weightless tear fell from my eye. Before I could have a chance to wipe it away, I felt his fingers touch my cheek. I could actually feel his finger tips on my skin. It was amazing.

"Don't feel that way, love. I know how you feel." He smiled gently at me, turning my face towards him. "I love you." I closed my eyes and felt his lips on mine. This was crazy, I thought to myself. I could actually taste his lips and felt their warmth.

"Don't leave" I mumbled, reaching out and touching his arm. I felt the muscles in it move as he pulled away. I knew he felt my pain. "Please…"

"Just keep your eyes closed. Remember this moment." I started crying as I felt his presence disappear. I squeezed my eyes tighter closed and took in a deep breath. He was gone.

It took a while before I was able to fall back asleep.

_Hello everyone! I hope you loved this chapter! I know it's not very long but I just love dream scenes and flashbacks sooooooooo much! And just so there's no confusion, after Sarah's dream, she's only __**imagining**__ Andreas in her room with her. Everything she hears and feels from him is just a figment of her imagination. _

_I'm excited to tell you that chapter 13 is already typed up and I will be posting it within the next couple of days. Please tell me what you think about the story so far. Thanks again for the awesome reviews I got for the last chapter! Have a fabulous summer everyone!_

_TwilightFanGirl _


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The next three months was spent getting back to the life I had before. Before everything. I wanted to get to know the neighborhood I lived in. Maybe making more friends and spending more time being social would help with the healing.

It was after dinner when I took the chance to get out. I helped clean off the table and wash the dishes before I asked mama and papa. "Mama, do you think it would be alright if I went out for a walk tonight, by myself?" Mama handed me the last wet plate for me to dry and smiled.

"A walk? It's pretty late, Sarah." I could tell that mama didn't like me going out by myself at this time at night. But the sun was only just setting and there was something about the chilly night air that morbidly brought me back to my favorite place. The ghetto with Andreas. "Maybe Elijah would like to go with you" mama offered.

"I think that she's old enough to go out for a walk by herself" papa chimed in. Ever since the talk we had a week ago, papa and I had restored our relationship back to the way it used to be. I understood what he did and why he did it. I just wished that he didn't have to.

"Thank you papa" I said, turning back to mama.

"Be back within an hour, Sarah. I'm not joking." Happy with the results, I kissed mama goodbye and grabbed my coat.

"Goodbye, papa. I love you." I kissed the top of papa's head and waved goodbye to Elijah and Hannah who were into an intense game of cards. Everyone knew that Elijah always let Hannah win on purpose. That was just the way he was and one of the reasons why everyone loved him so much.

The air was chilly, just as I had hoped.

_His hand was tight around mine. We were sitting together behind an old, bombed out post office. They were everywhere them days. I was on his lap, his arms wound protectively around me. I let my head fall back on his chest and looked up at the sky. _

_"Andreas?" _

_"Mhm?" I had few words that were my favorite and that "mhm" from Andreas was definatly one of them. Just the way he made it sound, curious and playful gave me goose bumps every time. _

_"Isn't your birthday coming up?" Chills ran down my spin as he pressed his lips close to my ear. I felt him nod his head against my cheek. _ _"Nineteenth, is it?" _

_"Why yes, my dear." I laughed at his fake accent. Sometimes, Andreas would pretend to have a thick Polish accent like mine instead of his heavy German one. It was just another way he could always make me laugh, even at my toughest times. _

_"Well, what do you want?" I felt a little embarrassed knowing that it was pretty clear I had no money for a birthday present. I would've given anything to give Andreas the perfect present any other person could buy. _

_"There's only one thing that I want this year." He turned my face towards him. "One thing." At first, I was a little shocked at what I thought he meant. It wouldn't be like him to ask for such a thing like this. Not at our age and circumstances. "No, Sarah, not that" he said, laughing quietly. My cheeks burned as I laughed in relief. _

_"Then what is it? If you could ask for anything in the world, what would it be?" I watched the smile on Andreas' face melt and he became serious. Lifting his hand slowly, he rested it over my heart and felt it beat. Then he rested my hand over his heart and waited. _

_"Just this" he whispered. Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling over my cheeks. I hugged him tighter than ever before and vowed never to let him go. I would give him his birthday present for as long as I was alive._

_"You have it, then" I mumbled into his chest. _

I hadn't realized how far I had wandered off or the fact that I was crying. I blinked away tears and looked behind me for a street sign. Relaxing at the fact that I knew where I was, I continued walking straight, not turning from the fear of getting lost.

I went back into that fond memory I had only to be pulled right back out by a group of drunk, loud German's celebrating the new year. They were noisy and not afraid to make the entire country know how drunk they were.

"_Wie sie alle lustig sind,_

_flink und froh sich regen!_

_Amsel, Drossel, Fink und Star_

_und die ganze Vogelschar_

_wünschen dir ein frohes Jahr,_

_lauter Heil und Segen!" _

I knew that song. I remember hearing it from the German school houses when I was picking up Hannah from the Jewish school across from it. Bad memories of the German people joyfully singing it in the streets to our faces made my stomach sick. The men were close and they were drunk. Two of the worst combinations. I knew that the war wasn't completely over. Germans all around the world still had that glitch of anti-Semitism burning in their brains.

No, this war was far from over.

"Hello, miss!" I was too late to hide. They had found me. I looked around nervously for a way to run, but there was four of them, all bigger and stronger than me and blocking all my escape ways. I turned my back to them and started walking back towards my house, immediately scared and regretting taking this walk tonight.

"Aw, baby come back! You're breaking my heart!" I heard another voice, this time older, calling for me. I picked up speed on my step as I heard theirs getting louder.

Rain. Just like in the horror movies, it started raining like it had never rained before. I let out a small scream as I felt a hand grab my arm and spin me around. My hair clung to my face. My clothes were wet and stuck to my body. The man holding my arm tightly looked at me with drunken eyes. He was handsome. Why would he need to force himself on me with his good looks. He had jet black hair and bright blue eyes that burned holes into my face.

"Let go of me" I stuttered out. The man smiled down at me, leaning in closer. The rest of the men behind us laughed and carried on with their drunken singing. I screamed out for help but no one came. The man grabbed both of my shoulders and slammed me against the brick wall behind us.

"Happy New Year" he said, pressing his lips roughly on my throat. I tried pushing him away but he had both my wrists pinned against the wall. I tasted blood in my mouth as I realized I had bit my tongue from the impact with the brick wall.

"Please, stop" I cried out. The man ignored my as he began tugging at my blouse. I screamed once more as the sleeve on my shirt ripped and exposed my undershirt I was wearing which was by then, soaking wet and pretty transparent. At last, I knew that this was one battle I would not win and gave up completely. I let myself fall to the ground in defeat. The man looked down at me and smiled, stepping on my ankles and crushing them instantly. There was absolutely no way to run away now. He had won and he knew it. He began fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. I could tell he was having a hard time due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed that night. His fingers slid and shook as his frustration built up. Now he was angry.

I closed my eyes and started crying again, praying for a miracle. Then, one came.

I snapped open my eyes as I heard the sound of bones smashing. It was a blood curdling sound that sent chills down my spine. I lifted my head up from the ground and looked up at my attacker who was now lying close beside me on the ground. He was grinding his teeth in pain and begging the figure above him to spare his life. Obviously the person had no mercy on him as an endless parade of kicks and punches came to him. I listened to the figure grunt and spit at my attacker in anger. I used all my effort to crawl further away from the chaos going on behind me. I let out a short yelp as I felt the ground beneath me stop. With one last bone spitting blow, everything went quiet.

"Are you alright?" The voice behind me wasn't that of the attacker. It was quiet and calming. It was a male's voice.

My tongue screamed in pain. So did the rest of my aching body. I hadn't realized how much of a fight I had put up until I felt the ache in my body consume my senses. I cried out openly in heavy sobs. The attacker laid close to me, his face completely mangled and body limp. I had no idea if he was dead or not but I didn't want to stick around and find out.

"Please, I just want to get home" I spat out, blood seeping out of my mouth as I spoke. Thick, discolored bruises formed around my wrists. I heard foot steps getting closer towards me and panicked. I hid my head between my arms and cried. I prayed that he would have mercy on me unlike he had with my attacker.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I lifted my head from my arms. His voice was rough but had a gentle edge to it.

"Who are you?" My stomach churned inside me. I felt the amount of blood in my mouth build up and spat it out. The figure stepped closer towards me. He was wearing all black clothing from his shoes to his cap that sat upon his head.

"You're bleeding" he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small handkerchief. I couldn't see his face but I could tell by the way he positioned himself that he was looking at me while he did this. I could sense his eyes on my face. I pulled myself further away from this mysterious man. "Where do you live?" The figure pulled off his cap and erased the shadow that covered his face. I let out a short breath as his face came clearer. Across his left cheek was a deep scar. It looked as if someone had sliced him across the face because it was very thick and noticeable. It looked like a cut that had hurt him severely.

But despite his scar, he had a pair of eyes that almost lit up the alley we were in. Dark green and big. He was young too. He looked to be only a couple years older than myself. Locks of brown, wavy hair fell into his eyes as he kneeled down in front of me and rested his hands on his knees.

"I…over there" I spat out, pointing a trembling figure towards the street my house was on. I was still shaking and terrified of both my attacker and for some reason, the man who had saved me. The way it took him less than a minute to almost kill a person with his bare hands made my insides churn.

"Are you able to walk?" He sounded like he was in a little bit of a hurry but kept his voice calm anyway. The pain in my swollen ankles screamed against me. I hid them underneath my skirt, afraid of what the damage looked like. I looked down at my blouse which was soaking wet still and pretty transparent. My cheeks burned.

"Yes" I whispered. I felt so embarrassed at my state. My blouse was hanging on by a thread. I quietly pulled it over my chest and tried my best to hid my exposed bra.

The man took off his black coat and draped it over my shoulders. He was very stiff when he moved, almost like he was afraid of me. I took it cautiously, desperate for something to cover me up in. I felt the warmth of his body come off his coat and wrapped it tightly around me. It smelled so good. Fresh and clean.

"He's not dead if that's what you are thinking." He leaned back against the brick wall opposite me and sighed. He must have noticed my terror in my wide eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you" he reassured. He glanced over at the limp man, covered in blood who I was staring at. "He was going to hurt you, you know. He already did by the looks of it." I lifted my glance to him. His face was calm and authoritive. "What he was about to do was unacceptable. I'm sorry if I frightened you, Miss."

The body a few feet away from us moaned. He really was still alive but not as handsome as he was before.

"Who are-?" My words were slurred as the walls around me started closing in. My head rolled around on my shoulders. I fell back hard on the wet ground. The man came over and hovered over me. A calm look still remained over his face.

"Just relax. You're having an anxiety attack." His voice was far away and murky sounding. Everything that had just happened replayed back in my mind making me more and more terrified. Where was Elijah? I needed him now. I tried picturing him sitting next to me as my breathing became more and more ragged.

"My chest!" I yelled up to him. My chest was on fire. It burned as if an inch from a blazing inferno and the amount of pressure on it was so painful. Something was crushing me.

"Just breath in, then out slowly. It's an anxiety attack, that's all. It nothing to panic about. Breath." I strained to hear his words. _Breath, Sarah_, I told my self over and over again.

I took ten deep breaths, keeping my terrified eyes on the man at all times. Something about him started to calm all my senses down. The way he kept his steady, calm stare on me made me confident that this was all going to end soon. I placed a hand on my chest and felt the burning simmer down.

"Better now?" the man asked. I nodded my head slowly and wiped the hair from my eyes. "Have you ever had an anxiety attack before?"

"Yes" I breathed out. The day I found out Andreas had died. Every hour, as a matter of fact. They were very mild though. A little dizziness and sickness but nothing ever like this. My chest hurt still.

The man nodded his head sadly and slid his arm under my back, hoisting me upright. Everything was still so dizzy and foggy. I saw blood on the ground below me. My blood.

"Come. I'll help you home." He coiled his arm around my waist and helped me to my feet.

"Aw!" I wasn't up for more than two seconds before the pain in my ankles screamed out in pain. He looked down at my twisted ankles and shook his head.

"Would you mind if I carried you?" The gentleness in his voice told me that he was sincere. Nodding my head, I let him pick me up and cradle me in his arms. His oversized jacket on me covered most of my entire body. I closed my tired eyes and instinctively rested my head on his shoulder. A sudden flash back popped into my mind that lasted the entire walk home.

_"Papa! I think it's broken! Is it broken, papa?!" I screamed and cried as papa made his way over to me. _

_I was six years old and playing with Nathan in our back yard tree house. We were playing hide-and-seek when I had accidentally fallen off the tree house ladder. Even though it was only a few feet from the grass, I had over reacted and thought I had broken my leg. _

_Papa gently examined my leg and ankle and smiled to himself. "No, my child, it isn't broken." I looked at papa in confusion. I had truly thought that it was. _

_"Is she alright, papa?" Nathan, only eight years old looked at us in panic. Papa patted him on the shoulder and laughed. _

_"Good work getting me, son. I'm proud of you." Nathan smiled triumphantly. Papa then turned to me and smiled. "Can you walk on it, sweetheart?" It only took one second for me to shake my head and hold out my arms to papa. _

_"Can you carry me, papa?" I wiggle my arms in the air out to him. Papa, being the kind and loving man he was, laughed and bent down, picking me up gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. I watched as Nathan gave me a thumbs up and waited for my response. I gave him a smile and thumbs up and watched him go back to the tree house to play. _

"Which house is yours?" The man's voice brought my back from my dream with a start.

"The last one. It's blue." I let my eyes rest on the scar that darkened this poor mans face. It was jagged and very noticeable. I felt so bad for him and the background of this scar. Did he get into another fight? Was it the evil doing of the Nazis?

"I'm Adam Brunner." Adam? He didn't look like an Adam to me. He looked more like an old fashioned name like, Oliver. He had an old fashioned quality to him despite his young age.

I didn't say my name. My voice was choked and stubborn, not letting me speak. The previous events had left me paralyzed and mute. I felt the muscles in Adam's arms flex under my weight. I watched my sore legs dangle over his arm and sighed. What would my parents think when they see me being carried back home in the arms of some stranger?

"I think I can walk the rest of the way home now" I said, closing my eyes. I heard the light pit-patting of his shoes on the street stop suddenly. I swallowed hard.

"Are you sure?" His eyes were hard on my face. I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Yes." I wiggled my way out of his arms and began stumbling my way back home. If it weren't for my crumpled ankles I probably wouldn't have had such a hard time getting home. I tumbled my way over to a near by fence and grabbed hold of it tightly, trying my best not to draw anymore attention to me. My fingers clung around the rusting metal tighter and tighter. My ankles once again, screamed in pain. My shoes were dragging across the gravel. Only a few more meters…

I heard Adam run up behind me. "Come on, this is crazy! Look at yourself, you can hardly walk." He was walking beside me, holding out his hands. I brushed them away.

"I'm fine. Thank you for everything you have done, Mr. Brunner." I tried picking up my speed a little. I had been through so much, I had to find the strength to walk home.

"Miss, please." Adam pried my trembling hands off the fence gently. I was breathing heavily, wiping the small trickle of blood that fell from my lips. He looked at me with a strong sense of compassion in his big, green eyes.

"I really don't need your help" I whispered. He flinched at my words and stepped backwards. He threw his hands in the air and sighed. He was done.

"Fine. Good luck getting home at this time of night, half conscious." I watched him turn away, guilt tearing my eyes up. I didn't mean to hurt him but he looked like a well kept person that didn't need to be brought into my part of town. Too many questions and I didn't want to have to answer them. But what would I tell my family when I got home?

I heard Adam's footsteps stop a few feet away from me. I turned my head and saw him looking down at the ground, shaking his head.

"Would you just let me help you?" His voice was frustrated. He ran back up to me, hesitantly and stood in front of me. His shirt was slightly opened at the collar, exposing a tiny bit of his muscled, well built chest. _Stop it, Sarah!_

"I…I live still a little whiles away. It's late and you must be tired." I felt the wind pick up, cooling my tired body. Adam shook his head again, shocked.

"You're just full of excuses, aren't you?" He was smiling. Was he messing with me?

"Look, Mr. Brunner I really, really appreciate what you did back there but…" I leaned my back against the fence behind me and swallowed hard. "You look like a man who doesn't belong where I live. I live in a really poor section of town and I'm already nervous enough as it is going home like this." I angrily brushed away tears that I hated then.

Adam kept smiling. "I don't even know your name?" He stuck his hand in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "Look, I'm not asking to move in with you. Just maybe dinner?"

I blinked repeatedly at him. Was this man really serious? My heart was beating so hard at that moment that I couldn't even speak. I didn't know him and he didn't even know my name? The fact that he was asking me to dinner now stunned me.

"I don't think so." A bitter wind blew by, jostling my hair across my face. I raised my hand to brush it away but the sleeves of Adam's coat were in the way.

"Let me." With out any time to protest, Adam gently tucked the stray strands of my hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering a while near my face. I felt my heart beat faster and faster.

I couldn't help but think of Andreas and feel an instant amount of guilt. This man whom I had only met twenty minutes ago was pulling me into this world of last minute decisions and feelings that I thought I had lost. My heart ached so badly for the warmth of another's embrace. It pleaded to be held again, to be talked to again. Its been so long. Almost two years…

"Goodnight, Mr. Brunner." His face went serious, eye brows frowning even. "Thank you." I turned my back on him and kept walking, slowly and carefully, along the fence until I finally reached my apartment and climbed the endless stairs, my heart pounding the entire way.

_Hello again! This was by far the longest chapter I have ever written but it was worth it! I wanted to add another MAJOR character in my story and what better way than to give Sarah another person to worry about? Well, thanks for the awesome reviews everyone and keep them coming! I hope you all have a wonderful week!_

_TwilightFanGirl_


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I spent the entire night explaining to mama and papa what happened the best way I could.

It was late when I finally got the courage to open the door. I sighed as I saw three very worried looking faces staring back at me. Papa had his arms folded across his chest. Mama stood by the kitchen sink, glaring in my direction. Elijah sat down at the table looking at me and somehow knowing what had happened.

"Sarah! I said not more than an hour!" Mama ran over to me and let out a small cry when she saw my lip. "What happened to your face?"

I saw the panic in my family's face and couldn't bare to tell them that I was almost raped. I had to tell them a something that could explain my injuries though, and my family wasn't stupid. "I…I, um, was mugged." The lie burned a hole in my heart. There was no way I could've told them the truth.

"MUGGED?!" Papa stormed over towards me and took both my shoulders in his hands. "Who was it, Sarah? Remember their faces and tell me who they were." I felt my blood thicken. I had to think of something that would make all this go away. I glanced over at Elijah who was staring, sadly at me.

"Papa, he's gone. And plus, he's probably still laying in the alley right now." My heart almost lurched out of my chest.

"What do you mean, helped?" Mama walked over to me and threw her arms around my neck. I felt her tears dampen my shoulders. "Sarah, he didn't…"

"No, mama. A man, a very kind man, helped me." I swallowed my tears and looked at both of my parents. Elijah slowly got up and stood behind them. "He practically paralyzed the man that attacked me."

Mama ran her fingers threw her hair and sat down at the table. Everyone looked at me with confused expressions.

"Is he dead?" Elijah hissed. It was the only thing he had said so far. He had his eyes glued to my face in a cold stare.

"Yes" I lied. "Yes, he's dead."

I stayed awake the entire night, listening to my parents argue in their room. My mama was furious, telling my papa that they should've never moved here in the first place. Back and forth they went discussing certain rules we were going to have to obey from now on. I felt my eyes start to burn knowing that I had just put our family, once again, on complete lockdown.

It was a week later, my cuts had healed and I wore a cast on my right ankle which left me to the hassle of limping from point A to point B. I had just put Hannah down for a nap when I noticed that we were all out of milk for dinner tonight.

"I'll be back in twenty minutes, Elijah. I'm just going to the market." I grabbed my coat and started towards the door where I was met by him.

"I'll go, Sarah." He faked a smile as if I didn't know why he wanted to go.

"It will be fine. I'll be back in a minute." I heard small footsteps behind me. Both of us jumped and looked backwards at a very drowsy Hannah. She rubbed her hands at her eyes and yawned.

"Where are you guys going?" she asked.

Elijah grabbed her shoes and put them on for her. "We're going to the market, Hannah." I sighed at him and waited until they were ready before I opened the door and stepped out into the warm, July air.

Elijah held Hannah's hand and whistled as all three of us walked down the main street. I shuddered as we passed the alley I was attacked in. I also thought about Adam. I hadn't seen him since then but then again, why would I? it was just a one time seeing and he was never going to show up in my life again. Why did I keep thinking about him?

The market square was busy, as usual. Woman towed their children behind them, arms full of groceries. Men, woman and children of all shapes and sizes flocked the area like feeding time at the zoo. I scanned the area for the dairy stand.

"Over there" I said to Elijah who was standing behind me. The three of us squeezed our way threw the crowd towards it. The stand was surprisingly clean this time. I had been here before for cheese and eggs and hadn't liked it. The owner was a big, fat, balding man that spat when he spoke. He wore the same outfit of overalls and work boots everyday.

"Can I have a jug of milk, please?" The person behind the stand wasn't the same mean man as usual. From behind, he was tall and had a good build to him. He wore a woolen cap on his head, hiding most of his hair. He was just finishing up lifting crates of milk into piles when he turned around. I froze.

"Hello, again." It was Adam Brunner. What are the odds that this was the place I would be meeting him again. He looked so much different from the last time I saw him. He wasn't so neat and well kempt. His brown corduroy pants we dirty and torn a bit in the knee. His white muscle shirt that showed off his chiseled arms was wrinkled. I allowed my eyes a small glance at his chest that was glossy with late afternoon sweat.

"Hello, Mr. Brunner." I spoke quietly. I tore my eyes from his body to the crates of milk behind him and tried to remember what I came here for. "Can I get a jar of milk, please?"

I saw Elijah come up behind me with Hannah close beside him. He handed Hannah a lollypop that he had just bought her. He noticed the strange look on my face. "Everything alright, Sarah?" I nodded my head slowly, not taking my eyes off Adam.

"Hi. I'm Adam Brunner." Adam stuck out his hand and shook Elijah's. I could tell that Elijah knew I had met this man before. "Now, about that milk" he said, turning around and grabbing one from the bottom crate. "We always keep the freshest milk at he bottom of the piles." He smiled at me as he passed the chilled glass to me. Reached out for it, our hands touching as I wrapped my fingers around it.

"Thank you" I stuttered out. I put my trembling hand in my pocket and pulled out a few coins. Adam shook his head when he saw this and held up his palm towards me.

"It's on me." I felt my stomach churn when he said this. My cheeks burned and my palms started sweating. Why did he have to be so kind?! It didn't help my feelings at all when his kindness spewed out of him like a water faucet.

"Thank you, again." I stuck the stray coins back into my pocket. Adam started laughing to himself. His smile, everything about him, made my heart pulse.

"You seem to say that a lot to me lately." I tore my gaze away from him and looked at Elijah. He stood there, frozen beside me, waiting for an explanation. I held my gaze on Adam who was staring directly back at me.

"Elijah, this is Mr. Brunner. The man who helped me, last week." I could tell by his wide eyes that Elijah knew what I meant.

"Well, I'm officially on break right now." Adam hopped over the front of the stand with incredible grace and ease. "How about a walk?"

I waited a moment. I thought about what Elijah or my parents for that matter would think if they knew I went walking with a strange boy.

"Alright" I said, shocking myself and everyone else around me. "Elijah, take Hannah back to the apartment. I'll be back in a little while." Before he could object, I quickly kissed him on the cheek and started walking opposite the main street. I listened to Adam's hurried footsteps come up beside me.

"Now can you tell me your name so I don't have to keep referring you to "Miss"? I laughed out loud, the first time in a while. The sun shone bright on us, the humidity rising. I took off my sweater and tucked it under my arm, glad that I wore a short sleeve dress that day.

The breeze in the air sent shivers down my spine. The unmistakable scent of summer air made me smile.

"Sarah. My name is Sarah." I crossed my arms over my chest and turned towards him. He was looking down and smiling. I wonder what he was thinking about.

"That's a beautiful name." Adam ran his fingers threw his damp hair. "How old are you?" So far, Adam had proven to me that he was a man that wasn't afraid to speak his mind or make spare of the moment decisions. And oddly enough, I think I was enjoying it. It had been so long since I had so much fun.

"I'm twenty. And yourself?" I guessed over and over in my head his age. He had such defined facial features that made it almost impossible to guess his age.

"I'm twenty three." I congratulated myself for my own accuracy. I nodded my head again and focused on my surroundings for a moment. We had drifted off into a beautiful dirt road path. Forest trees and wild life coated the area in a dazzling display of nature at it finest. I almost had forgotten Adam's presence if not for his voice jolting my back to life.

"Have you ever been to see the Fourth of July fireworks, Sarah?" He smiled widely at me and spun around, beginning a very humorous act of walking backwards. His hands were still in his pockets as he did this, his eyes on me.

I shook my head. "I've heard about the colorful explosions in the air, but I have never seen them in person."

"Colorful explosions?!" Adam started roaring with laughter. I immediately became embarrassed at my lack of knowledge for these kinds of things. I tried to cover me burning cheeks as he continued laughing in my direction. "I love that!" He surprised me with his strange statement. "No one has ever referred to fire works as "colorful explosions" before." I instantly felt the embarrassment fade away

"Well, what do you expect? I haven't been able to branch out that much these past couple of years." The silence that followed after told me that Adam understood what happened.

"Well, it's the fourth today, so…" He was still walking backwards as he spoke.

"Yes?"

Adam laughed and folded his arms behind his head. "Well I thought that since you've never seen colorful explosions in the air, you'd like to see them with me tonight."

Oh, God. What was I doing? I had no idea what to say to him. Did he want a date with me and use the excuse of my ignorance of fireworks to do so?

"Sure" I said, feeling the red creep back up my neck. What was I doing?! I was actually starting to really like this guy. Just the way he acted and spoke. How he lived made me want to get to know him even more.

"Really?" Adam's smile widened, ear to ear. "Great! Alright so I'll come by your place at around six. We can walk to the park where they're going to be showing and maybe before we can go to dinner or something?" I felt my excitement increase with Adam's plans.

"Sounds wonderful." I felt the sun shine directly on my face. The temperature had increased a few degrees but I don't think it was because of the weather.

_Hello, everyone! Well, I'm very sorry for being so lazy with the updating. Summer has been awesome so far and I hope the same for you too! Thanks for the really kind reviews again and keep them coming! _

_TwilightFanGirl_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I got back to the apartment later on that day, smiling until my cheeks hurt. Everything Adam had said that day made my heart skip with excitement. He would be back for me in a couple hours to watch the "fire works" and I couldn't be more happy. In two years I hadn't ever had one hint of excitement in my life. Now it was all happening at once and I almost couldn't take it.

"Elijah!" I threw my sweater on the kitchen table and ran into Elijah's room to tell him the good news. "Elijah, I have to tell you something!" I threw open his door and noticed he was sleeping. He looked so peaceful, his chest rising and falling slowly with each gentle breath he took. I decided not to wake him up but only walk over to his side and kiss his cheek softly.

Closing his door as quietly as I could, I sensed a presence behind me. "Mama!" I jumped with freight as I turned around and saw her standing behind me, glaring.

"Sarah" she simply stated. Dread washed over me as I scanned my mind for what I could've done wrong to make her so angry.

"What's wrong, mama?" I pressed my back against the wall behind me and studied my mother's face.

"I saw you today. Walking with some boy." Oh, no. "Sarah, honey after what happened last week, I think you should-"

"Mama! Please, I was only walking with the same man that helped me that day." I could tell that my excuse hadn't calmed my mother's nerves at all. Could I really blame her though? I hadn't even mentioned Adam to anyone since last week.

"That was him? What is his name?"

"His name is Adam Brunner and he works down at the market place." I braced myself for my mother's next reaction. "Mama, he wants to take me to see fire works tonight."

Mama's eye brows raised high. She ran her dry fingers threw her grayish hair in frustration. Was I asking too much right now? I bowed my head in shame for the stress I was adding to my mama's life.

"What time will he be here?" I snapped my head up in total surprise.

"Six. Mama can I go?" I smiled widely as I saw my mama nod her head, letting her hands drop to her sides. "Mama, thank you." I kissed both her cheeks and ran to my room to get ready.

"Relax, Sarah" I whispered to myself. I couldn't allow myself to become too excited about tonight in case it didn't go exactly as planned.

I picked out a simple outfit to wear. Just a dark blue dress that came down to my knees, my cleanest pair of white shoes and knee high socks. I looked in the mirror and criticized my appearance. The dress was old but fitted well, a little snug around the hips but I had managed to stretch it out a tiny bit while putting it on. My knee high socks didn't match but where pretty close to being the same height. I scooped up my hair into a bun but decided against it. I liked it better with it down and free to move in what ever way it pleased.

I looked at my dresser for any piece of jewelry I could wear. I came across Andreas' silver necklace and went cold. I picked it up slowly and brought it to my lips. "Please, don't be angry" I whispered, placing gently into a small, wooden jewelry box papa had made for me for my fifteenth birthday.

It was exactly six o'clock. I waited at the kitchen table anxiously. Papa was still at work, which I was grateful for. I didn't want him getting upset with me going on a date. But then again, I was twenty years old. I was no longer a child but an adult. I could make my own decisions but I didn't want to have to disobey my parents at the same time.

I tapped my fingers on the table anxiously. _He'll be here, Sarah. Don't panic, he's just a little late._ I heard footsteps dragging up behind me and turned around. A very tired looking Elijah stood, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Have a nice nap?" I asked him.

"Where are you going?" He immediately woke up faster at the sight of my appearance. "Why are you so dressed up?" His eyes scanned my outfit in surprise.

"I'm going to watch the fire works with Adam tonight."

Elijah made his way towards me and sat down in the chair opposite me. "Really?" I nodded my head and smiled at him, indicating that it was fine.

"I, I need to start making some new friends, Elijah." I instantly regretted my words as I saw the hurt erupt in Elijah's eyes. "Oh, no! Elijah, it's not because I'm sick of you. I just mean that I, _we_, can't stay alone in this apartment forever. We need to start making friends and being more social."

Elijah laughed and patted my folded hands. "I understand, Sarah. Don't worry. And you're right. I'm glad one of us is getting out." I laughed weakly and jumped as I heard knocking at the door.

"Elijah, that's him" I stuttered. A huge smile came across his face as he took my hands in his and lead me to the door.

"Be cool. You look beautiful." He kissed my face quickly and left the room so I could be alone. I opened the door a little too quickly and had to hold my jaw up from falling. Adam looked amazing. Dressed in simply a white t-shirt and cotton pants, he glowed in my eyes. His brown hair was swept in all different directions. I almost didn't even notice his giant scar that covered his right cheek.

"Hello, Adam" I said, stuttered. His eyes were glued to my face, studying it. "What?" I asked, becoming very embarrassed. Had he noticed my un matching socks?

Adam shook his head in disbelief. "Nothing. You just look so beautiful." His words made me feel instantly warm inside. My heart pounded in my chest. It's been so long since anyone except my family had called me beautiful.

"Thank you" I said, blushing. "You look great too."

Adam smiled, his scar rising with his cheeks. "Are you ready to go?" I almost forgot the reason for why he was here. I was still trying to get over how handsome he looked.

I snatched my purse from the table and headed out the door, Adam trailing close behind me. I sighed as I caught a lung full of his scent. Fresh, clean, just like his jacket. His jacket!

"Adam" I said, spinning around and almost smashing faces with him. He stumbled back in surprise. "Adam I forgot your jacket you lent me." I saw the concern in his face melt away. He laughed quietly.

"Keep it" he said, looking slightly up at me from the floor. A small smile came across his face that spread to mine.

The entire evening was like a dream. Something that seemed almost too good to be true. Adam took me to a small local restaurant that I had only ever had the pleasure of looking at from afar. It was a beautiful American restaurant with scented candles and dimmed lights placed on each table. After living off of the usual potato and dry meat stew, the food I ate that night was heaven on earth. I leant over my plate of steaming hot steak with creamy potatoes and bread, breathing in the sweet aroma.

"Have you ever been here before?" Adam asked. I snapped open my eyes and laughed at my own ignorance for fine food.

"No. It just smells so delicious and looks so beautiful. I almost don't want to eat it." Looking at my plate and replaying my sentence, I thought better of it. "But I will."

Adam laughed. "You make me laugh a lot, Sarah. Humor is a quality that not many people are lucky enough to possess." Adams face glowed above the flame of the candles at our table.

By the time we were done with our meal, it was almost time for the fireworks. I was so excited to finally be able to see in person what every other American I had met told me about.

I was holding Adam's hand tightly as we entered the park. There must have been hundreds of people filing into the gigantic park. Hot dog stands, as I read, where at every corner. Families laid out there dazzling display of quilts and blankets on the damp grass for their children to play upon. All the commotion and noise made my head spin.

Adam stood behind me and lowered his lips close to my ear over the roar of the crowd. "That's our city's famous orchestra. They tour all around the world but every Fourth of July, they come back to their home town and play while the fireworks go off." I stood on my tip toes to see the band of twenty men and woman, all dressed in black and tuning their instruments.

"This is so beautiful!" I tore my eyes away from the beautiful orchestra on their platform to a man dressed in all red, white and blue colors. He had even painted his skin the various shades of the three colors. He was dressed in flashing lights and oversized but very patriotic clothing. Balloons were tied to his belt as he went up to different people singing and smiling.

"He's been here every year for thirty years. We all call him Sam but nobody really sure what his real name is or anything about him." I strained my eyes to see what everyone was now running to.

"Where are they all going, Adam?"

"The fireworks are starting!" Adam grabbed my hand in his and started running in the same direction everyone else was running in towards the platform where the orchestra was playing. They were well into their performance when the first _**bang!**_lit up the sky.

"Oh my…" was all I could say as I stared up at the incredible display of lights exploding in the air. Every color imaginable lit up the sky. My jaw dropped as I saw the tips of each explosion spark and then disintegrate as they fell to the ground. _**BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

The explosions got louder. That's when everything went real horrible, real fast. _**BANG! **_My heart thudded in my chest making me jump. An instant memory flashed through my mind.

_I pulled my knees closer to my chest and hid my face in them. The basement was cold and dark and shook with each explosion. Screams and cries could be heard above us. Dust fell from the ceiling causing all of us to worry if the basement can hold up against the tanks and explosions going on a few feet above us. I was fifteen, Nathan seventeen. _

_I heard Hannah begin to cry and pulled her close to me, trying to hold back my own fear tears. Hannah was shaking and crying loudly. "It's alright, Hannah. I'm here." I cradled her as tightly as I could, trying to calm her down. But she was only six at the time and had never been through an actual bomb raid. Mama kneeled down beside me as I passed Hannah to her. _

_"Nathan, when will it stop?!" More bombs exploding above us drowned out my voice. Nathan turned to me and shrugged, fear etched into his eyes. I looked for papa. He still hadn't come yet. He promised he would come straight down after getting what little money we had from our house. That was twenty minutes ago. _

_"I think I should go and find him" Nathan said to me. I stood next to him, clutching his arm in my hands. _

_"No! Papa said that we should wait here until he gets back." My fingers tightened on his sleeve. "Please, don't go out there" I yelled. BANG! More dusted floated down from the ceiling. The entire house and basement shook, sending both Nathan and I crashing to the ground. I heard Hannah scream in terror. Nathan covered my head protectively with his arms as three more bombs thundered above us consecutively. _

_As the dust cleared, everything went silent. Shelves around us were dismantled and glass was everywhere. Mama called our names in a panic stricken voice. I heard Nathan yell out to her, and gently shake me. I let out a sharp breath. I had hit my head on the jagged floor and had given myself a small cut on my forehead. I called out to mama, telling her that I was still alive. _

_"Are you alright?" Nathan turned me over on my back and dabbed my head with a piece of cloth from his shirt._

_"It's just a cut." I breathed in heavily as Nathan helped me to my feet. "Do you hear that?" Both of us stared at the steps that lead out of the basement. Heavy coughing and the sound of dragging footsteps echoed throughout the small room. Nathan and I both hid under the stairs quickly and waited until the figures face was visible. Papa! I ran to my papa, hugging him with all my might. _

_"Izak!" Mama picked up Hannah and ran to him. "Izak, what took you so long? What is going on out there!?" Mama kissed papa on the lips and hugged him tightly. Papa kissed Hannah on her forehead and looked up at the ceiling. _

_"It's a mess out there. American, German and British planes are flying every where. This entire city is destroyed." Papa was covered in debris and dust. He was also coughing terribly. _

_"What do you think we should do, papa?" Nathan asked. Papa placed his hand on my brother's shoulder and shook his head. _

_"We pray." _

"Sarah, Sarah what's wrong?!" Adam face swirled into view opposite me. Both his hands were on my arms holding me up. BANG! I screamed at the sound of another firework. Tears fell down my cheeks as I felt myself being dragged out of the park. We passed the hot dog stands, Sam and all his colors, and all the other families watching the fireworks with smiles.

"I'm sorry, Adam. God, I'm so sorry I had to ruin everything!"We stopped outside of an old, closed down barber shop. I covered my face with my hands and cried. My past was everywhere I went. I would never ever be able to get away from it and everything I hated about it.

Adam put his hands on either side of my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. "Was is the war?" He sounded just as grief stricken as I was. I grabbed both his hands and squeezed them tightly.

"Yes" I whispered. "I'm going crazy."

Adam pulled me into his arms and held my trembling body. "We've all been hurt by the war" he mumbled into my hair. I clung with all my might to him. "You're not going crazy. It's just that some people deal with their past better than others."

"I'm sorry I've ruined your Fourth of July." The distant sounds of fireworks going off made my stomach feel sick.

Adam turned my face up to his. I felt the tension rise with each breath we both took. _Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me…_

"This has been the best day of my life, Sarah. Just being with you, someone I really like and am liking even more as each second passes." I saw in his eyes how honest he was being. _Please, kiss me…_

Adam decided that after all that happened, I should go home and get some rest. And even though he hadn't kissed me then, I knew that my break down didn't turn him off me at all. He held my hand the entire way home, always walking one step in front of me. For some reason, whenever I was with Adam, I always got the feeling that nothing would ever be able to hurt me. Just the little things he did while around me, always close to me, opening doors for me, everything he did made me feel safe.

When we came to my apartment, I stopped and faced him. "I'm so sorry-"

"Sarah, please believe me. I don't think I'll ever have another night as wonderful as this." He touched my face gently, trailing his fingers down my jaw line. "Well, maybe…"

I was just about to say something when I heard the window above us open. Hannah's head popped out, Elijah's above her. Both had an excited look on their face. I let out a heavy laughter, hiding how embarrassed I was. Adam lowered his head and joined me.

"Hello, Adam. How was your night?" Elijah pursed his lips together, trying to muffle his laughter.

"Very good. Now, please, can you two give us a moment?" I winked at Elijah and Hannah until they eventually pried themselves out of the window and slammed it closed. "They're very protective, those two." I bit my lip, still embarrassed.

"I'd love to see you again, Sarah. I don't want to have to wait until we bump into each other like last time." He took my hand in his and stroked it with his thumbs. _He wanted to see me again? Even after what happened at the fireworks?_

"I'm free tomorrow."

"Good, because I plan to spend our next couple of dates getting to know everything about you. I want to know your likes, dislikes, past jobs, childhood…everything." I stared at him and smiled.

"Why would you want to know about me? I'm not that interesting at all." I sincerely doubted that anyone would want to know about my life, even during the war. Small town girl, thrown into the eye of a war, then tossed back out.

Adam shook his head. "Everyone has their stories to tell, Sarah. Whether they tell them or not makes them who they are." His eyes locked with mine. "I really like you, Sarah. I've never met anyone quite like you before."

"SARAH! Can you come in now?!" Mama's voice pierced the emotional silence between Adam and I. I sighed and turned towards the same window Elijah and Hannah were looking at us out of.

"I'll be right in!" I shouted back. Turning towards Adam, I rolled my eyes. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"I'll be here at ten? Is that ok?" I nodded my head. An awkward silence passed as I waited for him to say something. Actually, I was waiting for him to kiss me.

"Good night, Sarah." Adam leaned in and gently kissed my cheek. Very gentleman like. His fingers lingered awhile on my other cheek as he pulled away.

"Good night" I whispered. Not disappointed with his reaction.

I had no idea then at what I was getting myself into, but all I knew was that I loved it.

_Dun-dun-dunnnnn!! I hope I'm getting better at my cliff hanger endings! I really don't have much to say except to have a safe and awesome summer to you all!_

_TwilightFanGirl _


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

More dreams. More sleepless nights. It seemed like each time I thought I was moving on, more memories started to haunt me. The latest dream I had seemed to real to believe. Weird enough, it didn't involve my past this time. I think it was about my future to come, which scares me even more.

My feet hurt. I had been walking a really, really long time, barefoot, but for some reason, I was smiling. I was happy. I was _really_ happy. I was also holding someone's hand. Their fingers were entwined with min and tight. We were walking on some dirt path and I remember feeling the softness of it under my feet.

A voice coming from the person beside me spoke. Their voice was calm and a male's voice. "Are we almost there yet?" I tightened my hold on their hand and smiled.

"Very soon." We kept walking and walking down the soft, warm dirt path. Then we were there. A beautiful, breath taking lake rippled in front of us. I sighed, feeling warm and happy inside my body. The water shimmered in its strange yet beautiful array of pink, clear and dark violet colors. God, it was so beautiful. Still holding onto the persons hand, I stepped closer to it and dipped my toes in it. Cool water, refreshing water enveloped my toes.

"It's so beautiful here" the voice said. I couldn't recognize the voice but it didn't scare me at all. In fact, it made me feel happier.

"Yes" I whispered. The figure bent down beside me and dipped their fingers into the cool water. Then suddenly, everything changed.

The smell of it, the color of it, the feel of it, everything came back. I stood in the middle of the main street back in the ghetto. Dogs barking in my face, screams every where. No longer was I at the lake. I was back in hell.

I started shaking and crying, praying to get out of this place. I wiped my eyes and noticed a giant crowd gathering around something. They were laughing, mocking and throwing trash at whatever was in the middle of the circle they formed. Something in me told me that I should go over and check out what everyone was yelling at.

People, both Nazi uniforms and poor Jews gathered together and kept on with their merciless torment. I pushed and weaseled my way through them. Every person either had a tin can or a stone in their hand, ready to throw them at the moaning figure lying on the ground. The figure was covered in blood and dirt and on their hands and knees, trying to cover their face the best they could with their palms.

I couldn't see the person's face but I could hear their cries and feel their pain. With each stone and each tin can thrown at the person, I felt it slice into my body. I felt the blood trickle down but when I checked, nothing there. I felt pressure all over my body. Thick bruises formed on my arms. I cried out in pain and fell to the ground, unable to bear the amount of pain being brought upon me. Nobody helped me, nobody even noticed me there. All they saw was the hate they had for the figure lying on the ground.

The person noticed me on the ground and turned their face up to me. I raised my hand to my mouth and let out a horrified scream. Andreas. My dear Andreas, covered in blood and crying out in pain, looked up at me. I screamed louder as more and more objects were thrown at him. Why were they doing this to him? Andreas looked at me and our eyes connected. I gathered any strength I had and began crawling towards him but with each movement I made closer to him, the pain intensified. I had to keep going, though. Andreas was right there, crying out in pain as more and more people joined the crowd.

"No! Sarah stay away!" Andreas cried. I couldn't believe what he was saying. Did he really expect for me to leave him alone?

I breathed in deeply and stared at him. "I'm coming!" I screamed. Andreas pleaded with his eyes fro me to stay back but I pushed myself closer towards him. More rocks, more glass bottles were thrown at him, each one shattering against me as well.

"Please, Sarah! You'll die!" Andreas coughed and wheezed, falling more and more out of consciousness. _Die?_ My fingers gripped the concrete ground below me. I had to get to him. I didn't care if I died. His pain was my pain.

Inching closer and closer, I felt myself growing more and more tired. I reached out my hand for Andreas who was yelling for me to back away. I caught his hand in mine. His hand, although covered in blood and cuts, felt the same way I remembered it to feel. The pain kept getting worse and worse as more time went by holding him. I wrapped both of my arms around him tightly, sharing the unbelievable amount of pain.

"It hurts so bad but I don't want to let go of you. I can't leave you alone" I cried out. I loosened my grip a little around his neck, the pain easing a little. My body begged for me to let him go, to be free from all this pain. I held him face in my hands, bringing him closer to me. Both of us were crying.

Andreas started whispering, blood trickling down his face. "Just let go and the pain will eventually go away." I noticed how he didn't touch me and even tired to pull me off of him. I held him even tighter, trying to block out the stabbing pains all over my body.

"No" I said as Andreas took my hands from his face and gently pushed me away. I saw the hurt and love in his eyes as he did so. I could tell this was killing him just as much as it was to me.

Then their was a figure standing beside me. I looked up to them but their face was just a blur. I couldn't tell who it was but I knew it was someone that wouldn't hurt me and came to help. They held out their hand to me. Suddenly, as soon as I took it, all the pain went away. All the stabbing, the poking, the bruising, was gone. The hand was tight around mine, helping me to my feet. It was the same hand I was holding at the lake and now it was dragging me away from Andreas who lay on the ground, smiling.

And that was the dream I woke up to.

It had been exactly six months since my first date with Adam. We had met every day for the past six months. I can still remember how hard it was to first have feelings for him. I can still feel the sharp pains of my dreams and the deep love that I was starting to have for Adam colliding with each other.

Adam leaned in to kiss me. We both sat upright on my bed, close to each other. I could feel the warmth of his body from where I sat. I felt myself tingle as he leaned in closer and closed his eyes.

"Wait" I jerked. He snapped his eyes open in surprise and looked at me.

"What's wrong?" He backed away carefully, fearing he had done something wrong. "Are you alright?" I wanted so badly to kiss him but, I don't know what happened. I hadn't kissed another man since Andreas and his death was still a fresh wound in my heart.

"I, uh, I'm sorry. It's just been a long time. A lot happened before…everything and I feel like-"

"Sarah, I, I don't want to replace him." Adam touched my arm gently. How could he have known about Andreas? Was I really that obvious with my hollowed heart?

"I know that. I really like you too but…" I gathered my words and tried to spit them out so they would make at least a little sense. I didn't want to hurt him when I loved him so much.

"You have to let people back into your heart. People who care for you and have strong feelings for you." He paused and looked at me. "Me, Sarah. I would never hurt you."

What was I doing?! I had just made Adam feel like I wasn't sure about him. That wasn't it at all. I…I didn't know what I wanted.

"I know that. And I don't want to hurt you either. But, I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"That I might be actually be falling for you."

"You shouldn't be scared of that."

"Why not?"

"Because I've already fallen for you."

"I have so many problems and I'm so messed up from what happened…"

"So am I. That's why I think we found each other."

And ever since that day, I had felt at peace every second I was with him. Of course Andreas was still there, in my heart, in my mind, but I had finally found another person that could show me the unconditional love that Andreas had given to me. I knew that Andreas would've been pleased with Adam and how much he would do for me.

Each day seemed to be more and more perfect. We spent most of our time laying in parks talking or getting to know our neighborhood. Turns out that Adam had spent some time serving for his country in the war…

"You were in the army?" I asked. Adam, who was lying down on the cool grass in the local park, held out his hand for me. I graciously grabbed it and laid down next tom him. His arms hugged me tight to his body.

"General, to be specific." The autumn air blew at us. It was a little chillier than usual but Adam's body kept me warm enough.

"General Adam Brunner" I sang. "What was it like during the war?" I knew this was a sensitive subject but I was itching to know for a long time.

Adam laughed and touched my cheek gently. "I served this country for five years. I was only seventeen when I enlisted. As soon as I heard how Hitler was starting to take over most of Europe and threatening America, I didn't think twice about joining. I had my mother here, and my sister. My father died years ago so it was my job to be the man of the house, to protect them." I heard him sigh and hugged him closer. I reached my hand towards his face and touched his scar.

"Who did that to you?" I asked sadly. I couldn't even stand the thought of who did this to him and how. Adam closed his eyes as I traced the deep scar.

"Poland" he said. "During combat. A land mine was set off only feet in front of me. I'm lucky to still have my legs and arms." He wiggled his arms. "That was before my men were sent to…" he shuddered beside me. "We were sent to liberate the camps in Poland. Auschwitz, Belzec, Plaszow, all of them." It was myself that started to shudder then. I had no idea that he had been to those infamous death camps. God, what had he seen? "We entered Auschwitz first. Some of the men couldn't go in. They couldn't believe what they saw, what had been done to these people. It was horrifying, Sarah. I forced myself in their because I saw the looks on the prisoners face. All of them saw us and smiled. Everyone was crying, even some of the men. The strongest, roughest men were crying like children over what they saw." Adam sat up and leaned against a tree not far from us. He rubbed his temples and sighed.

"You don't have to" I said, regretting asking him about it.

"Well, we found some hiding Nazis in three of the barracks. I had been helping there for two days then and had seen pretty much everything. I had no mercy on the Nazis we found." I thought I heard his choke up a little but when I looked at his face, apathy. "We took them to the yard where they lined up hundreds of prisoners for roll call everyday and tied them to long poles. We let the prisoners do whatever they wanted to them while we turned a blind eye. At first, everyone was scared to take out their anger on the men that destroyed them. That's when me and two other men started them off by beating the men and shouting obscenities at them."

I closed my eyes and tried to take the picture of Adam, sweet and caring, beating men. Nazis. They deserved whatever they got, though. "You were angry. They got exactly what they deserved, Adam."

"Not a day goes by when I don't regret what I did to them. I knew what the others were going to do to them when I walked away after."

"Adam, I'm not sure exactly how you must feel but I know how I do. I'm glad what happened to them happened. They killed my brother and best friend. If I was there-" Anger built up in me like an hour glass.

"No, Sarah. What I did was wrong. I'm just as bad as them" he said. I sucked in a sharp breath as I felt his tear drops fall on my hand that was entwined with his. I suddenly stopped all my crying and took his face between my hands. Studying my eyes, I became very serious.

"Adam look at me." I held his face tighter until his eyes lifted to mine. "I never, ever want to hear that come from you again. Don't you ever compare yourself to those Nazis you found, hiding. They were cowards. You're better than them, Adam." I waited until he shook his head to ease my muscles. My eyes fell on his car again. How much pain he must have been through. I suddenly felt so sorry for him. He was so innocent looking, so young still. We both were and both had a story like no other to tell.

"It was so frightening" he whispered. I leaned my forehead against his and breathed in.

"It's alright" I said as he began to cry. I had never seen him cry before and I didn't like it. It just wasn't him. Whenever we usually talked about our places during the war, he held his emotions very well. Not now. I placed his head under my chin and whispered to him, gently. "It's alright, Adam. It's alright, I'm going to take care of you. I'll make all the pain go away, forever." I picked up his damp face and softly kissed his scar. I kissed the top of it gently and followed it down to the bottom of his chin. "All better now" I whispered, my mouth still touching his face. "No more pain."

Adam just looked at me. Both our faces were serious but held passion behind them. Both of us wanted so baldy to make love. We both had ever since the fireworks incident. I truly believe that ever since that night, I learned exactly what kind of person Adam was and the same for him. He knew that something like death in your path is something you can never forget. The amount of passion and romance we shared was like no other. We shared a bond and protected it with whatever strength we had.

"I love you" he whispered. I froze. I had always known that he had loved me and I hoped that he knew that I loved him. He had never said it before, though. It gave the meaning of "love" a whole new feeling when it was said aloud.

Hmm, love. Only a four letter word. Four letter word, one syllable, a billion different meanings that can change in an instant. True love, undying love, fake love, pleading love, forced loved. So many different versions for just one tiny word. People loved each other unconditionally but also loved their favorite outfit that hugged their curves just the right way. I loved Elijah and I loved Adam. Two completely different kinds of love with the same amount of it.

"And I to you" I said, smiling. Who knew that it would take a subject so hard like this to bring out what meant most to us. "I love you so much."

Adam was my therapy. I was lost in a world where I thought I would die unhappy. I thought that forever, each breath I took would remain a regret. I know that Andreas wouldn't have wanted me to live that way but I couldn't help it. When you love someone, you love them forever. Even after their death they stay with you. The "epiphany" I had with Elijah was just the first step in my recovery. I knew that my pain wasn't completely gone that afternoon. I still felt that hole in my heart that nothing seemed to fill in completely.

I was convinced that Adam was it. Whenever I was with him, I felt completely new. I felt that nothing bad could touch me and I felt that I could tell him all about my past and not be pitied. Whenever I told someone about the death of my brother, I was stared at with pitied eyes. I didn't want pity, I wanted salvation. That is why I stopped talking about the ghetto, the escape, or Oskar Schindler's camp. But Adam was different. He listened and was able to actually feel what I was.

_Hello, again! I hope your summers are going good. Well, I hope that you all got the foreshadowing in Sarah's dream. And yes, more dream scenes! I just cant seem to pull myself away from writing them! Well, keep leaving reviews and have a great summer!_

_TwilightFanGirl_

_p.s- If anyone else out there is a total die hard fan for Twilight, I hope you know that there's only 14 days left until the fourth book comes out!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Adam lived by himself in a small apartment about three blocks from my house. I loved the fact that he was so close. It made it so much easier to get close to him.

"Can we go to your apartment, Adam?" I took another lick of my chocolate ice cream cone and nudged him in the ribs. He laughed and put his arm around my waist. Everyone else in the park, especially the old couples, smiled at us as we passed them. To them, we were just two more kids in love. A memory of what they used to be and still are.

"It's a mess right now. My wife forgot to clean it yesterday." He laughed even louder as I took my ice cream cone and smushed it into his cheek. "That's it!" Adam threw his ice cream into the trash near us and ran for me. I screamed and laughed harder than ever before as he chased my through the field.

"You owe me two dollars!" I yelled to him as he bent over and lifted me over his shoulder. He started spinning around, causing an old couple resting on a bench near us to laugh. I roared with laughter as he started stumbling and gently put me down. I instantly fell to the ground, clutching my stomach which by then, was sore from laughter. Adam, dizzy and swaying fell down to the ground next to me.

"And you owe me a kiss" he said, hovering over me. I gladly pulled him closer to me and pressed his lips against mine. I usually would've been self conscious about kissing in public, but not that day. Not with him.

"Alright" I said, pulling away. "Now can we got to your apartment? I want to see if it looks like what I have pictured in my head." Adam stared down at me and smiled.

"Okay. Let's go."

I held his hand as we both got up and started walking out of the park. The ice cream truck man who we had just seen was packing up his stand and getting ready to leave. I waved to the cheery, kind, lanky man as he tipped his cap to me.

"So what do you think my apartment looks like?" A slight, crooked smile came across Adam's face. I leaned back my head and closed my eyes, allowing Adam to take on the job of being my eyes as we walked.

"Well, I know how much you like music and dancing, so I can picture your rooms with album covers from years ago and today plastered along the walls. Maybe even a jukebox!" I heard his laughed beside me and kept going. "With pale blue walls and a small window near your bed. And your very intelligent, so there has to be stacks of books piled in a book shelf next to your television."

"I have a television?"

I laughed and squeezed his hand tightly. "Well, maybe a radio stand. And you love being surrounded by nature so I picture your walls to be a light shade of green." I kept imagining every inch of his house according to what kind of person he was.

"What else?" I could tell that he was very interested from my theories.

"Pictures of your family in England every where. A small but comfortable white kitchen with a small stove and matching cabinets above it." I paused. "Am I close?"

"Hmm, well you got the family pictures right and my kitchen pretty much exact. But I regret to tell you that none of my walls are green." He squeezed my hand. I smiled and kissed his hand.

We walked the rest of the way in peaceful silence. Each of us thinking about the same thing. Each other. I actually started getting a little nervous. I had never been to his home before. What would happen if we got a little…too comfortable? I pushed those thoughts from my mind and smiled.

"Well, here we are." Adam stopped in front of a tall, slightly worn out building. Damp blankets hung from windows. The white paint on it was old and chipping. I loved it.

"Let's go!" I said to him, tugging at his hand. I let him lead the way to the third floor. I watched as he pulled his keys from his pocket and jammed then into the lock. Wiggling and cursing quietly under his breath, the door finally opened.

"Welcome" he said, turning to face me with his arms spread out at his side. I slowly walked in, absorbing everything. It was surprisingly clean, from the way Adam spoke of it. An ironing board lent next to a tiny stove, jut like my vision. He lead me into the main room. A soft, clean rug cushioned my feet. A t-shirt was draped over the brown, slightly torn couch.

The entire house had a warm feeling to it. Maybe it was the smell of fresh fruit or just the way it looked. The pale walls, not green, were warm and comforting. "It's wonderful" I said as Adam returned from the bathroom.

"I have something to show you." He grabbed my hand and quickly lead me to a small room towards the back of the apartment. I suddenly became very excited as he slowly opened the door we stood in front of.

He swung it open and smiled. I covered my mouth with my hands and laughed. "Adam!" I said. It was his bedroom and it was exactly the way I said it would be besides a few changes. Album covers and family portraits hung all along the walls which were instead white. There was even a juke box! I hugged him beside me and bit my lower lip.

"You are pretty accurate with your predictions. Do you like it?"

"It's perfect." I walked over to the jute box and picked a song randomly. Frank Sinatra's _Come Fly With Me_ started playing. I closed my eyes and smiled, feeling the music sway my body gently. Adam came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned my head back and was surprised when I felt my feet moving to sounds of his rhythmic voice. Adam took my hand in his and spun me around.

"Two left feet" I mumbled as he pulled me closer to him and planted one hand on my waist and the other cupping mine in the air.

"_Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied. We'll just glide, starry eyed. Once I get you up there, Ill be holding you so near. You may here, angels cheer - because were together…_" Adam's voice surprised me. It wasn't Frank Sinatra himself, but I liked it better anyway.

I leaned closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder as we danced a little more. Then the song ended. I didn't want to ever stop dancing.

"I didn't know you sang." I plopped on his bed which was very soft and patted the seat beside me. Adam seemed a little hesitant as he came closer. I could feel the tension build up in myself as he sat down and took my hand in his. The sun shone in from the window across from us and created a glow around his face. I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand. He closed his eyes and tilted his head towards me.

"Can you really not see it?" Adam looked at me, sadly.

"See what?" I watched as he gently took my fingers off of his scar. His eyes were sad and curious. I knew what he meant. "I see a man who's been hurt for too long. I don't see that scar when I look at you, Adam. All I see is a person who I have fallen in love for." I had no idea how self conscious he was with his face. He was perfect to me. I wish he could see that. "I think you're perfect."

Adam laughed softly and then became serious. I smiled as I saw the blood in his cheeks darken. I moved myself even closer to him on his bed. He took my face in between his hands and kissed me .on the lips. I began to tremble slightly as the passion we shared thickened. I heard him breath out a long breath as his hands traveled up my waist. I bit my lower lip as his hands rested on my breasts. He pulled away, afraid that he went to far. I smiled and pulled him back closer to me.

"Adam" I breathed out as I felt his moist lips on my neck. "Adam, it's okay. Be apart of me" I whispered. I hadn't even realized what I had said until I was staring at him in the eyes. He looked so handsome. His hair was messy and his eyes burning with lust.

"Are you sure?" We both were clutching each other tightly. Our eyes said the same thing.

"Yes" I said. This felt so right.

Adam picked up my hand and kissed my palm. I felt myself tremble from being so nervous. Adam sensed this and stopped. _No_, I thought. I wanted this. I've wanted this for a long time. I took in a deep breath and laid down on my back hugging Adam close to me. I placed my hands flat on his chest and started un buttoning his shirt. Underneath was a white muscle shirt which I slipped right off over his head. I felt my breath catch as I felt his muscular, healthy chest with my bare hands. His arm muscles flexed as he held himself above me. His old dogs tags, which I hadn't even seen before, dangled down from his neck. He lowered his face to mine and gently unzipped the back of my dress. I helped him pull it up and over my head.

So there we both were. Half naked and on top of his bed. Adam hovered over me, his brown hair in his eyes. I smiled, touching his cheek and prepared myself. He was going to be my first.

"I love you" he mumbled into my hair as he let his hands travel across my shoulders towards my bra hook. I said the same thing back to him, shrugging out of my bra and exposing myself completely.

It wasn't long until we were both completely exposed and in each other arms. I felt my body temperature rising as we hit the climax of our love. When it was over, we both rested on our backs, breathing heavily and hot. Our hands were entwined and we both had smiles on our faces. I was surprised how much it had hurt at first. Adam was just as ignorant of the act as I was but tried with all his might not to hurt me. He kept asking me if I was alright after everything he did. All I did in response was close my eyes and kiss him harder on the lips. I felt so wonderful afterwards. I felt new and I felt loved.

"Sarah?" Adam lifted himself up and rested on his side, facing me. I pulled the sheet over myself and looked at him.

"Yes, Adam?" My head was high in the clouds at that moment. I was still breathing quite heavily and my eyes felt dry. Moving myself closer to him, I could feel that he was nervous. His heart beat rapidly in his chest. I sighed softly and pressed my face against his chest.

"Will you marry me?" Silence. Oh my, marriage. "There's nothing more that I would want to do than to spend the rest of my life with you." I listened to his words and automatically knew my answer.

"Yes" I said. I didn't even really have to think about it. I had always, all day every day, pictured what my life would be like being married to him. I was finally getting my chance.

"Yes?!" Adam turned his face towards mine. His eyes seemed to be on fire and his voice was higher than usual. "Sarah, you have no idea how happy you've made me!"

"Oh, yes I do." I lifted myself up and flung myself on top of his body. Both of us laughed at my clumsiness as I almost slipped right off the bed. "I love you so much" I said between kissing him. "Make me your wife."

Adam and I had worn each other out so much, we both didn't wake up until three hours after the last time we made love. I woke up, buried in his arms and smiling. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so good and actually woke up smiling. Adam was snoring softly, his warm breath hitting the top of my head. I raised my hand to his face and touched his scar. It was soft and warm under my fingers. I listened to him breathing, the only sound audible. No birds, no people, no cars. Just Adam's breathing. I hugged him close to me. Suddenly, I started crying.

Everything just seemed to hit me in an instant. Sex, marriage, moving on. I finally felt whole again. It was because of this one person sleeping beside me. He had done so much for me and probably doesn't even know it. All he did was love me. All he did was show me that it is okay to fall in love again.

_**Hello! Thank you thank you thank you for the absolutly awesome reviews i got for the last chapter!! **_

_**This chapter focuses mainly on Sarah and Adam's first night together and what lead up after it! I really wanted to write a wedding scene and can't wait to do so!! Weddings are so beautiful, especially when YOU are the wedding planner! Okay, please leave reviews on what this wedding should look like and any other coments you have.**_

_**Have an awesome week everyone!!**_

_**TwilightFanGirl**_


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I laid down on Adam's bed and watched him as he buttoned up his shirt. Reaching out my hand, I softly touched his arm and smiled. It was so quiet still. Just the setting sun coming in through the window and sound of the two of us talking. I loved it. No one speaking with their mouths, just their eyes. I didn't have to worry about what to say or do. Just laying down beside him while he got dressed was enough.

I threw the covers off and shivered at the cool breeze that hit my exposed body. I had never been naked in front of a person before. Just the thought of it made my cringe with embarrassment but not now. I felt completely comfortable walking around his room naked, searching for my clothing.

I slipped my dress over my head and reluctantly put my shoes on. I had to leave now. I had been gone the entire day and I knew my family would be getting worried if I didn't come home soon.

I checked my reflection in his mirror quickly. Without even realizing, I was smiling. I looked so much different from when I last looked in the mirror. Even my eyes were smiling. They shined along with the rest of my body. Adam came up behind me and hugged my waist, his chin on my shoulder. Both of us stared at our reflection in the mirror. Compared to him, I looked like I had just come back from a hard days work. He was so perfect looking, perfect eyes, perfect bone structure, everything. I on the other hand had a crooked nose, thin lips and messy hair. But for some reason, and I don't know why, Adam didn't see all my flaws when he looked at me. He saw someone completely different than what I saw when I looked at myself.

"I'll walk you home" he said, bringing my hand to his lips.

I sighed. "I don't want to go. Not now." And I didn't. Things were too perfect for me to leave now. All I would do once I got home would be thinking about him. I didn't see the point.

"Maybe tomorrow, if you want, I can meet your family. I still haven't met them." I could hear the words coming from a smile on his face. "Don't you think they should meet your future husband?" My heart lurched in my chest when he said that. You know that feeling of total excitement that makes your body go cold, well that's exactly what I was feeling then.

"Alright. We'll have dinner together." The sudden thought of my parents and Elijah meeting Adam scared me for some reason. They had no idea who he was or what our relationship was like now. I mean, I was getting married to a man they hardly knew! What would they think of me?

"Can't wait" he whispered.

The air was cooling down now. The humidity was gone and a gentle breeze cooled our bodies as we walked. I tried walking extra slow, savoring our limited time together. I had never wanted to not go home before. I was always happy to see my cheery little apartment everyday but tonight was different. I was with Adam and never wanted to leave him.

"I wish you didn't have to leave" he said quietly. I stopped in front of my house and faced him. I breathed out deeply, staring at him. "Soon, you never will have to."

I closed my eyes and looked up to the dark sky. "Tonight was really…wonderful." I saw a small, crooked smile come across his face. I crossed my arms across my stomach and sighed. "I mean, everything you did and how you did it." I paused, trying to find the right words to say. "You made me feel loved again. You made me feel new, again."

He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead gently. His lips lingered near my face for a few seconds. I threw my arms around his waist and held him tightly. "I can't wait to marry you" I heard him whisper.

I waved my last goodbye to him and shut my door. The house was quiet except for some voices coming from my parents bedroom. I could see a tiny crack of light coming out from the bedroom. Mama and papa were talking quietly enough for me to tip toe closer to the room and hover outside their door. Leaning as quietly as I could against the door, I listened.

"We have to move away, Elena. We can't afford to live in this apartment anymore. I have been able to get in contact with some old friends of mine in a city called Boston. They can arrange a place for us to live. A place more affordable than this." Papa's voice was quick and frantic. I felt my body go numb. This wasn't happening.

"Izak! After almost three years living here, how can we move? The children, all our belongings? We don't even own a car!" I could see mama's footsteps pacing around from the shadows under the door.

"Elena, we have no choice. We have already been given notice of eviction if we can not keep up with the payments and we are just not making enough money right now. Even with both of us working double shifts _and_ over time." Silence. I hoped they couldn't hear my heart racing through the door.

"Fine" mama said, breathing deeply. "If we have no choice, tell them we'll move as soon as possible and see if you can arrange for some kind of transportation." I heard a body plop down on their bed. "I just don't know how to tell the children. Hannah is finally making friends and is about to start school. Elijah is finally feeling better emotionally and Sarah…oh Izak, we can't take her away from Adam."

My breath choked in my throat. _No, no, no, no._ I could feel my eyes start to produce painful tears. We can't move. Not now of all times! I was finally starting to get my life back together!

"We'll tell them tomorrow" papa said. As soon as I heard footsteps coming closer to the door, I frantically ran away and made it look like I had just come in.

"Have a nice time with Adam, my child?" Mama took my face in between her hands and kissed my cheeks. "Sarah, have you been crying?" I rubbed my red, swollen eyes and slapped on a fake smile.

"No, mama. It's quite hot out there and I had to splash some cold water on my face." She believed my lie. Thank goodness.

Mama placed herself in front of a sink full of dirty dishes and began scrubbing them. "So when are we going to meet him? From what you say, he's perfect."

My mind was still on the conversation I had heard but I managed to spit out a few words. "That's funny you should say that because I was planning for all of us to have dinner tomorrow anyway. He really wants to meet everyone." I waited to see the reaction on mama's face. It was exactly what I thought it would be. I could tell that she was hiding something from me but instead, tried to smile her way out of it.

"Tomorrow" she sang to herself. "Alright. I'll make something special." She placed a dish on the dish rack to dry and sighed. "I was going to go to the market tomorrow anyway."

Feeling the urge to cry again, I decided to leave while I still had time. "Goodnight, mama." I kissed my mother and then went into Elijah's room. I usually slept in his room due to all the talking we did most nights.

I knocked on his door and pushed it open. I had to tell him all about what happened tonight with Adam and what I had heard. Elijah looked up at me from a book he was reading and waved.

"Tell me everything" he said. Holding out his hands, I dove into him and rested my head on his lap.

"Oh, Elijah there's so much to say. I don't even know where to begin." I sighed and clenched my fists with excitement. Elijah sensed this excitement and put his hand on my forehead.

"What did you guys-" he stopped, eyes widening and realizing what I was trying to say. "You…did you really?" I nodded my head. Elijah raised his eye brows in shock. Oh no, please don't think that way of me, I pleaded in my mind.

I spoke quietly, so quietly that Elijah could barely hear me. If Mama or papa found out about tonight, I couldn't picture their reaction. "I really love him, Elijah. He's been the one person who has actually been able to fix me." I paused. "We're getting married."

Elijah straightened his back and glared at me, eyes wide. He only did this when I had just told him something very serious. I braced myself. "Look Sarah, is he good to you?"

"Yes" I answered quickly. The quicker the better, I told myself.

"Does he love you?"

"Yes" I breathed out, not ashamed to hide the smile that came across my face.

"Then I'm happy for you. You deserve so much from a guy and as long as he's willing to take care of you and love you, you have nothing to worry about." I sat up and stared at him, eyes moist. I hugged him close. I was just about to tell him what I heard with mama and papa but I didn't want to ruin the moment. How would he respond to us moving? Were mama and papa still planning on telling us tomorrow night? What about Adam?

"Elijah" I said. I couldn't keep anything from my best friend. I had to tell him. "Elijah, I heard mama and papa talking a minute ago." I twisted a lock of my hair between my fingers nervously. Elijah, who had just picked up his book again, stared at me.

"What's going on?"

I took in a deep breath and reluctantly opened my mouth to speak. "We're moving" I whispered, trying not to cry. Elijah's face dropped and mirrored mine. He loved this place just as much as I did. He shook his head in disbelief. "I over heard mama and papa tonight. They are planning to tell us tomorrow."

"Why?" Elijah breathed out.

"Because we're poor and cant keep up with the payments." I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Elijah, I'm not moving. I can't."

He sighed. "I can't believe it. It seems like we just got here. Where are we moving?" I told him all about Boston and how excited papa was to move there.

"Tomorrow's going to be horrible" he mumbled.

"And Adam wants to come over tomorrow night as well. He says he wants to meet my family and tell them the news of our marriage." I groaned loudly into Elijah's pillow. Everything was such a mess when it didn't need to be. There had to be something I could do in order to keep us here.

"It's all going to be fine, Sarah. Don't panic." Elijah rubbed my back softly and sighed.

It was about eleven o'clock when we both went to bed. I had spent half the night smiling when I talked about Adam and the other half crying because we were going to move. The night was cool and gave me shivers as I slipped on my pajamas.

After fluffing the pillow more than three times, I finally found a comfortable position. I looked to my right at Elijah who was sleeping by then. Poor Elijah, he still was so lonely sometimes, no matter what he said. At times, I would catch him crying by himself, or talking in his sleep. I tried my best to comfort him as best I could, but I knew that I wasn't the one who could help him completely.

"No" I whispered to myself. What would I do if I really did have to leave? Would Adam come with me? We were getting married.

The night was long. Longer than most other nights. I wished I could just jump up from the bed I lay in and run over to his apartment. Maybe I could? I mean, how hard could it be to sneak out now? No one was awake but me and he was only a few blocks away. It wasn't long until I had made up my mind.

I slowly shook off the covers and grabbed my shoes. I didn't have time to get dressed and frankly, I didn't care what I looked like. I just needed to be near him for the little time we might have together.

I opened the bedroom window and slung one leg out of it. _Just like old times_, I thought. I had done this about a hundred times with Andreas, I could do it again. It felt so weird to be sneaking out again. The same rush of excitement and worry flooded my body. My hands gripped the edge of the window and I let go. Only this time, no one was waiting below to catch me. I landed hard on my back, grunting as I opened my eyes.

The grass was wet with dew, chilling my ankles as I hopped and ran over our lawn. The grass hadn't been cut for months and was almost halfway up my calves. I didn't care though. I was doing it again. I was sneaking out of the safety of my house and running off to meet someone. Someone I loved.

Cutting across streets and remembering the familiar signs, I ran at full speed. My thin shoes created little noise against the concrete streets. Noise that nobody heard. I ran faster than ever before, not realizing that I was crying as well. After six months of walking these streets to his house, would this be the last time? Alone and in my pajamas?

"Please answer" I whispered, out of breath and sobbing. I knocked a little louder. I heard nothing. Maybe I should just turn back and go home. He was sleeping and I had no right to bother him at this time at night.

I knocked even louder.

I had just about given up and knocked one last time. Suddenly, the door swung open in a mass of a brown blur. The apartment was dark inside. The only thing I could see was the barrel of a small handgun pointed directly at me.

_**Muahahahha more cliff hangers!!**_

_**Hey everyone! Hope all your summers are going well so far. **_

_**Thankyou so much for the advice i got in my last review! i will definatly think about it as i write that very intense chapter!**_

_**I hope you liked this one and I am excited to tell you all that I have the nexted one already typed out and can put it up as soon as i edit it!**_

_**Alright, well, that's about it hehee**_

_**Have a safe and fabulous summer!**_

_**TwilighFanGirl**_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I caught my breath sharply as the barrel of the gun steadied itself near my face. I could smell the cold steel from there. It was a familiar scent. A very tense second went by until the gun started to shake.

"Sarah?" Adam's voice was just as shaky as the gun he still held in his hand to me. I couldn't move. I didn't dare to move. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't. The gun suddenly dropped to the ground creating the loudest thud I had ever heard, well it seemed like it.

Adam's strong figure stepped closer. "Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry…I-" Adam stepped closer to me, horror on his face. He held up his hands in the air as if I had picked up the gun from the floor and was aiming it at him. Strands of his hair shook in front of his face. "Please don't cry, I would never hurt you" he stammered.

I let out a desperate sigh and ran to him, forgetting everything that had just happened. I could never be scared of Adam. I would trust my life with him. I held his slightly trembling body in my arms with all my might. He slowly put his arms around me, still stunned. "Adam" I cried. "I just found out some of the worst news in my life. I can't…" I tried talking but my words were jumbled and stuck together. Adam put his finger to my lips softly.

"It's alright, Sarah. Come in." He bent down and retrieved his gun before helping me in. I saw him look both ways in the hallway I stood in before shutting the door quickly. What was going on and why was he so jumpy?

I felt his hand pressed securely on the small of my back as I walked into his bedroom. I noticed the bed was still neatly made. Had he been awake when I knocked on his door? This was going to be harder than I thought.

He sat me down on his bed and got a cold face towel. He dabbed my face gently with it. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. It hurt to much. And it seemed that I just couldn't stop crying.

"Sarah, whatever it is, we can work it out." He slowly put down the face towel and looked at me. His face was close to mine. I could see the panic in his eyes as well as the exhaustion. He hadn't slept in a while. "Are you in trouble?"

I took a second to take a deep breath. "I'm moving" I whispered. I saw the look on his face disintegrate into a puddle of disappointment. His eyes wandered in confusion from my face to the floor. He stared at it as if he were waiting for it to move, a confused expression on his face.

"Where?" His voice was quiet and rough which made me cry even harder.

"Boston!" Boston. A place hours from where I was now. A place I hated with all my might. A place to far to travel back and forth too.

"When?"

I didn't know for sure, but I did know it was soon. "Soon, a week maybe two?"

We both sat in silence for a moment. The only sound heard was my faint crying. I didn't want to move away. Not if it meant I was going to be taken away from Adam.

"It's not fair!" I stood up and stormed around his room. I wanted to scream so badly. I wanted to scream in mama's face, papa's face, God's face. I wanted to break things, to destroy things. I pressed my hands against my face roughly, muffling my aggravated screams in them.

"It's going to be fine." Adam might as well said that with a question mark at the end of his sentence. Even he didn't believe his own words. How was I supposed to believe him when he didn't?

"No" I breathed out, calming down a bit. I walked over to Adam and sat on his lap. "No, it's never going to be fine if I move away from you. Never." I buried my face into his shoulder. I heard him sigh. I wish that I could've heard whet he was thinking at that moment.

"Sarah, I have a solution." His voice was shaky yet pretty certain. I raised my face close to his. I didn't see any solution at the time. Not unless he could persuade my parents to stay which was next to impossible.

"What? I can't do anything to make them change their minds. My parents are the most stubborn people I know. Once they say something, it sticks forever." I stopped rambling as Adam pressed his lips against mine. _All_ my anger melted off me like butter.

His eye brows furrowed in front of me as he looked at my face. "I can't be away from you more than an second without thinking about you. I'm willing to do anything, _anything_, to be with you. And if that means moving to Boston, then…get me an hour to pack."

"No, Adam…I can't let you give up everything you have here for me." I felt the tears fall down my cheeks as he pulled me even closer to him. His eyes were soft, gentle and determined.

"Sarah, I love you too much to let you go. Everything I have here is nothing compared to what I have with you."

Adam's words really touched me. He was willing to give up everything to make me happy. The only thing that I had to give to him was my love and I guess that was enough for him.

"Are we still on for tomorrow?" He sounded nervous yet excited at the same time. I nodded my head and slumped myself into his chest. The lack of sleep was catching up with me. I told him to come over at around seven and to be prepared.

"Elijah and papa are the ones you should worry about. Mama and Hannah are the easy ones." I smiled. "They'll love you."

"Should I be this nervous?" We both laughed to ourselves, picturing the mess that would be tomorrow. Papa would no doubt start off with his interrogation immediately.

"No" I said, touching his cheek gently. I doubt he had anything to worry about. I would help him tomorrow.

I closed my droopy eyes and laid down on his tidy bed. It was firm but comfortable. Comfortable enough for me to fall deeper into an almost sleeplike state. I felt the right side of the bed groan and sink in as Adam laid down beside me. Usually, it would have been myself snuggling up close in his arms, but tonight, it was I who did the holding. Adam slid himself right under my tired arms and huddled close to me. I pulled him into my embrace and rested my chin on top of his head.

"We should get you home." Adam's voice pierced through the dead silence like a razor. It was so nice just resting together, not speaking, and barely breathing.

"Alright."

Adam draped his coat over my shoulder's as we walked the long street back to my apartment. I dug my hands into the pockets of them against the bitter wind that was picking up. I hadn't realized until then how fast summer had gone. Probably because I spent it mostly with Adam.

Suddenly, my mind was pulled out of the fond memories I had been thinking about when my fingers coiled around something cold in the pocket of Adam's coat. A gun. Another one? Goosebumps crossed my neck as I dropped it back into my pocket. Terror swept over me. Why did he have so many guns? I slowly pulled it out and held in in my hands, partially hidden.

"Adam?" My voice trembled as well as my hands.

"Yes?" He turned his head to me and then my shaking hands, holding the small gun. "Oh, Sarah…I'm sorry." He didn't try to take the gun from me but I could tell he wanted it back. I slowly handed it over to him in silence. What was going on with him? Was he keeping something from me? I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Are you…safe?" I was embarrassed at my choice of words. Safe might not have been the best word to use but it's exactly what I meant. Adam had already shone me two guns now, that he had. Was somebody threatening him?

I heard Adam sigh. "I…I get real paranoid sometimes at night." He had his head facing the ground and I noticed his breathing become slower.

"I just want to make sure your alright, because, well you do seem very jumpy lately." I twitched my hand out of my pocket to reach for his, but instead, he raised his hands to his hair and ran them through it.

I heard his voice get deeper and more depressed. "I spent so many nights not knowing, not thinking I would make it to the next morning. Guns are all we had back then, and I don't know…I just feel safer with it always near me." He slowly lowered his hands from his ruffled hair.

"I'm so sorry, Sarah. About what happened tonight." As he spoke, I noticed little worry lines form around his face. Lines that I wanted to smooth out.

I guess war did that to some people. It changes them from the person they were to the person they become. It made perfect sense to me why Adam had so many guns. He was put through endless days with a gun as his only protection. A tiny, deadly piece of metal determined whether he would live or die sometimes.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Adam. War…" I took in a deep breath. "It messes people up so badly. It makes them think that the way we lived, how we suffered for so long, is the way we must live life forever."

Both of us went quiet for a few minutes. Most likely reliving apart of our pasts.

"So, we'll tell your parents about us tomorrow then?" Brushing off our past conversation, Adam's voice was back to it's normal sound.

"Yes. I'm nervous to what they'll say. I mean, I know they'll love you but…we're moving soon. I don't want my parents to have to go crazy with everything happening all at once." I sensed Adam's eyes on the side of my face.

"It's all going to work out" he said, draping an arm over my shoulders. "I promise."

After creeping back into my room, I was relieved to see that Elijah was still sleeping. I crept in and tucked myself under the sheets. The sheets that were still warm from where my body had been a while ago.

As the night turned into morning, I planned out in my head what I wanted my wedding to look like. I debated whether or not to have white roses or pink roses. White was more traditional but pink would make the room more colorful. Then it hit me; how on Earth were we going to pay for all this? I was in no place to afford more than a bus fare rather than an entire wedding. Adam didn't have enough money for an entire wedding either. How were we going to afford all this?

I sighed, shoving all thoughts out of my mind on what flowers we would have. That wasn't important. The only thing that really mattered was the fact that Adam and I were getting married. We were actually going to be man and wife. The thought made my insides warm up. Just the thought of living with him and maybe even having a family made me smile.

The next morning started off as just another typical day. I got dressed and met my family in the kitchen. Papa had the radio on and was drinking a cup of coffee mama had just poured for him. Elijah sat hovered over a plate of toast, eating it in fragments. I never understood why he felt the need to cut up his food into pieces all the time but I never questioned it. I guess we all have our own strange habits. Hannah sat on Papa's lap, playing with an old, worn out doll she had gotten when we first moved here.

Everyone was surprisingly happy this morning.

"Good morning" I said, helping mama prepare breakfast for Hannah. Ever since she had gotten sick, she was allowed only certain foods. Lots of fruits and never any chocolate. Mama offered me some toast which I refused instantly. My stomach was in too tight of a knot for me to eat anything that morning.

"So, Sarah I understand that Mr. Brunner will be coming here for dinner tonight?" Papa set down his newspaper as I sat down at the table next to Elijah. I coiled my fingers around a glass of water in front of me and looked at Elijah. He just smiled encouragingly at me and then went back to eating.

"Yes, papa. He is very anxious to meet you." I saw mama smile to herself as she dried her last dish in the sink. "All of you."

Papa stared at me questionably. "Well, it's about time. After six months of him courting you, you'd think he would come earlier." I shuffled in my seat anxiously. I knew I should've brought him over more often.

Elijah noticed the awkward silence being shared and came to my rescue. "I've met him before, Izak. He's so kind to everyone and has a real taste for music." I let out a breath as I saw papa smile.

"Well I'm glad for that. Where is he from, Sarah?" I swallowed a little too hard and prayed no one heard me.

"America" I stuttered. "He was born and raised here with his family until they moved to England while he stayed here to fight for America." Everyone, except Elijah stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

"You never said that he was an American soldier, Sarah" mama said.

"Well, I didn't think that it was a topic of great importance to you guys. He served this country proudly though." I sat up straight, willing to fight off any punches mama and papa threw at him. I could only imagine what tonight was going to be like.

"Does he speak any other languages?" Papa settled his eyes back to his news paper but still went on with his interrogation.

"He speaks very little German but his native language is English."

It wasn't long until everyone brushed off this very uncomfortable topic and moved onto something else. I watched as mama prepared a delicious vegetable soup and fresh bread. I asked her many times if there was anything I could do to help, but mama liked to work on her own most of the time. She didn't like giving orders and she liked doing things her own way which I respected.

It was six thirty when my nerves really started to kick in. I changed my outfit three times before Elijah finally helped me. He was surprisingly calm compared to how I was. I had already broken one glass and tripped over every still thing in our house.

"What if mama and papa don't approve of our marriage? What if I waited to long to have them meet him and don't trust him?" I plopped down on my bed and played with the hem of my yellow dress. Elijah laughed and started at me.

"Once they meet him, I'm sure they will approve." He sounded so confident.

"But we're supposed to be moving, Elijah! How am I supposed to tell them that I want this man to come with us all the way to Boston? They can barely afford to feed us right now." I begged myself not to cry. Not now, there was already too much to do.

"We'll figure something out, Sarah. But just for tonight, try to have fun. Show off Adam to your parents and make them love him as much as you do."

I ran over to the kitchen table and lit two candles in it. They were the best candles we had, tall and barely used. Holding the match to the tips of them, I glanced nervously at the clock on the wall. It was seven o'clock.

Ten minutes later and double checking that everyone was ready, I heard a knock on the door. I took one deep breath and slowly opened it. Adam, dressed in a simple white collard shirt and brown pants, stood in front of me with a giant bouquet of flowers in his hands and a nervous smile on his face.

_**Hey, hey, hey! Alright, so I came up with (and I hope it's good) answer to the whole gun-pointed-at-Sarah deal. Haha sorry if I freaked any of you out too much but I think this story needed to know more about Adam and his past. This was previously a ten page chapter that i had written but I thought it would have been a little too long, so i cut it in half and will post the rest of it very soon!**_

_**Thanks for the very kind reviews I'm getting and keep them comming!**_

_**Have an awesome summer!**_

_**TwilightFanGirl**_


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Hello" he said, holding out the flowers for me and kissing my cheek gently.

"You look wonderful" I said, bringing him into the kitchen. He looked just as nervous as I did. I could tell by the way he snatched off his cap as mama and papa walked into the room followed by Elijah and Hannah.

"Hello, Adam" mama said, greeting him with a warm hug. "It's very nice to meet you at last." Adam, surprised by the gracious hug, nodded his head and smiled.

"It's really nice to meet you too. I've been dying to meet Sarah's family for so long."

Papa stepped forward, a kind yet cautious smile on his face. He stuck out his hand to Adam. "Sergeant Brunner" he guessed, waiting to see Adam's reaction.

"General Brunner" he said formally. I could tell he was trying his hardest to be polite to my parents and his country at the same time.

"Welcome" papa said in a thick Polish accent. Adam almost didn't understand him. I could tell by the look he gave me. Muffling my laughter, I touched his shoulder gently, easing some of the tense muscles in his back.

"Thank you, Sir." I smiled as Adam referred to my papa as Sir. Nobody ever called him Sir, making papa laugh softly. I could feel the tension in the room decrease significantly with the sound of papa's deep throated chuckles.

Despite how afraid I was over my family's reactions to Adam, I actually found it rather sweet how nervous he was. I could tell he _was_ nervous but at the same time, holding his posture and form in a way that made him look unbelievably confident. I admired him so much then.

We all sat down around the dining table. Everyone inspecting Adam, piece by piece, drilling him with questions. I tried chiming in as much as a I could but sometimes I did have a chance. Papa was very interested in Adam's war time stories. He found it fascinating to hear from an actual American solider what was happening at the same time we were living in the ghetto.

"If you don't mind me asking…" papa said, taking a sip of wine. I felt a sudden rush of worry come over my body. This could lead up to anything. A question that could bring up some of the horrors of Adam's past that he didn't want anything to do with anymore. I guessed Adam noticed the blank, wide eyed stare on my face. He gently brushed my hand on my lap and smiled confidently at papa, waiting for him to continue. "What exactly were the American soldiers doing while Germany was killing millions of innocent people?" I heard papa's question and almost choked on my wine. I knew he had asked it with only pure curiosity, not a chance to bash the Americans like some others would do at the chance. But why now? Why was he asking such macabre questions when we were supposed to be talking about us? I glanced nervously over at Adam who remained calm and unfaltering.

Adam cleared his throat and set down his fork. "Well, Germany had lots of power and we had to fight off their soldiers before rescuing all the thousands of people being tortured inside the camps, ghettos, everywhere. We wanted to immediately attack the Nazis and their torture prisons but we had to be smart about it. Planning surprise attacks and succeeding in them is a lot harder than one might think it is. We tried our best. We tried our hardest to attack just the right people at just the right times. Creating a clear path to the innocent people and saving them as quickly as possible." I could sense the tension in the room heighten, searching my brain for an escape route. A long silence passed. Papa was thinking, listening to every word that Adam said along with the rest of the table.

After Adam finished, papa let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you did." The answer my papa gave him was an answer I completely wasn't expecting. I think it was Adam's solemn expression and the way he spoke that made him know how hard it was for not only the Jews, but the soldiers fighting Germany as well.

"Oh, now enough of that depressing topic. Tell us about yourself." Mama placed a bowl of steaming hot vegetable soup in front of Adam and myself. I should've expected mama to be the one who could save us more awkward moments.

"Well, I'm twenty two, pure blooded American that loves music." Adam shrugged his shoulder's. "That's about it." He looked at me and grabbed my hand that sat on top of the table. "And I've never fallen for someone as wonderful as this woman right here before." I felt my cheeks burst into flames as he said this. I wasn't ready to show this much affection in front of my family just yet.

Hannah sat up in her seat and looked at us, holding hands and smiling. "Mama, I want an Adam of my own!" she whined. Everyone, including Adam, at the table laughed.

I looked over at Hannah and smiled. "You will, Hannah." I felt the red creep up the back of my neck as Adam squeezed my hand.

Elijah sat on my left, the two of us whispering secrete messages back and forth the entire time. It seemed that Elijah was the only one that knew exactly what I was thinking while Adam spoke with my parents. He knew exactly when the sensitive subjects came up and when it was okay to relax.

The night went on perfectly after that. One after another, Adam told jokes that had my entire family, even Elijah, laughing until no one could breath. I guess you learn some really great jokes while stationed in a hole for fourteen hours.

Papa told embarrassing stories of myself as a child, making me want to run away sometimes. But after each story, I saw papa give me that gentle wink signaling to me that he was only making good humor.

Towards the end of the night, Adam and I both knew that time was running out to tell them. We knew that if we didn't do it now, we would most likely not ever. This was, for sure, not a light topic.

"Um, mama, papa?" I set down my napkin on the table and cleared my throat. Feeling Adam's eyes on my face, I braced myself. Picking nervously at the wooden table with my finger nail, I deciphered that this was it.

"What is it, Sarah?" Papa laughed. "You seemed to have lost the color in your face!" I sighed, trying to put together a string of words that would make sense to them. Suddenly his laughter ceased, a hush falling over the room.

"Sarah?" Mama reached across the table, patting my arm. "What is it, my child?"

I looked at Adam, biting my lower lip. I saw a sudden smile come across his face, easing my thoughts, my fears until I had almost calmed down completely. "Well, Adam and I…um, well we are planning to get married." I heard papa's fork drop to his plate. I instantly wished that I hadn't told them at that moment.

Silence. The kind of silence that seems to be louder than noise. I felt my stomach start to feel sick as soon as I glanced at my parents blank faces. Both expressions mirrored each other's.

Papa spoke first. "Sarah, I don't think this is the right time for marriage." I saw the anxious glances he and mama passed back and forth to each other. I knew exactly what they were thinking.

"Papa, I want to marry Adam. We are going to get married." I saw the surprised looks on their faces and replayed my words back over in my head, checking to see if I had used the wrong tone of voice.

"Sarah, can we speak with you for a moment in the kitchen?" Mama stood up, touching papa's arm and waiting for me to follow them into the kitchen. Reluctantly, I looked over once at Adam and then got up.

The kitchen seemed smaller than ever before when we got there. Mama sighed and looked at me. Before she could speak, I raised my raised in defense and blurted out words.

"Mama, I know what you're going to say." I decided to save them the trouble and just come out with it. Both of them looked at me with blank faces. "I heard you and papa talking about moving last night. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Your father just told me last night and it doesn't exactly concern you right now." I sensed the frustration in mama's voice. I held my place.

"It doesn't concern me?!" I bit my lower lip to keep from yelling too loud. How could they say that this didn't concern me? "What about Adam? You knew he was coming over tonight!"

"Sarah, your mother and I are trying our best here" papa said, weakly. "We can't afford to live here anymore. Boston is a much more affordable place." I could practically see his temperature rising. "And as for Adam, we think he is a very nice man but…we _have_ to move Sarah. I'm so sorry my child, but we can't afford to bring anyone else either."

This was the moment I had been dreading ever since last night. This was it. They were finally telling me that I would have to move away, leave everything Adam and I had, and go. I felt sick to my stomach. I loved my family more than anything in the world but did they really expect me to have my heart broken once again? There was no way I could that again and live to bare the grief.

"Please, Sarah, try to understand what we are telling you." Mama stepped closer to me, lowering her tone to a near whisper. "I know what you went through when Andreas died, but if we stay here, we will loose our home, everything we have. We can barely afford to feed the family we have now. The apartment we have in Boston is even smaller than this one and just simply is no room." Mama reached for my face. I flinched away, tears burning through my eyes.

"Mama, we aren't just too young people with a crush. We have both been through so much, we know how each other feels, how we think, why we do everything we do. We have done things together that have made us both into completely different, changed people. How can you ask me to leave him after so long?" My response silenced both my parents. I could tell that they had had enough of my answers. We were moving and that was that.

"I'm so sorry, my child. Please, lets not ruin this night. Go back in there and finish off this special night. You…you might not have another one." Papa bowed his head in grief as he saw what he was doing to me.

"No!" I shouted. I slammed my hand hard on the table, causing both my parents to jump. "I can't do this. It's too much for me to handle. I can't go through that again."

I heard chairs scrape in the dining room and soon, Adam and Elijah appeared in the doorway. I stared at Adam, tears still burying themselves in my eyes. I couldn't look at him. Just the thought that this might be our last night killed me.

"I think I should, well, go now." Adam's eyes frowned as he said this. I snapped my neck towards him and ran over.

"No" I breathed out. "No, Adam, we're still getting married. I don't care if we are moving, I want to marry you. I want to spend every second of my life with you." I raised my trembling hands, in a panic and touched his face. I could see the pain in his expression as he knew what my parents had said. He breathed deeply, hiding his pain, and took my hands in his.

"It's okay, Sarah, it's okay." He pulled me into his arms and held me there for a while. I almost forgot that my parents where still standing in the same room as we were.

"We're very sorry, Adam, but it's something we have to do for the better of this family."

I lifted my head from Adam's chest and looked at my parents. "Not everyone in the family." My anger almost drowned out my grief I was feeling.

Mama and papa couldn't stay in the room any longer, and left. It was so silent for a while until I spoke. "What should we do?" I was so confused, so angry that this was happening.

Adam took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say. "Well, I guess it's a decision that only you can make. I can't come with you to Boston and I can't bare to part you from your family. The decision is up to you, Sarah." He tightened his grip around my shoulders. "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do" he whispered. I touched his lips that formed a hard line across his face. I knew that he was begging for the answer he really wanted from me but was too polite to ask me to stay with him while my family moved away.

Was that even a real question? Was I really expected to choose between my dear family or the love of my life, Adam? I didn't think that I had the strength to ever answer a question like that. I needed help. I needed salvation that I presumed was never, ever going to come to me.

_**HELLO! I'm sorry for the abundant amount of dialogue in this chapter but i think that it's very important, now, to fully understand Sarah and Adam's relationship in order to make predictions on what Sarah will end up doing in the end of this chapter of her life. **_

_**Sorry for taking so long to update too but with adjusting to work and trying to prepare for the release of Breaking Dawn smiles I have A LOT on my plate right now!**_

_**Have an awesome week and life!**_

_**TwilightFanGirl**_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

So here I was. Standing in the middle of a dream. No, a nightmare. A nightmare that I knew I would never wake up from. See, that's the good thing about dreams, no matter how horrible, no matter how terrifying they are, you can always just wake up and tell yourself _it's only a dream._ but this, this was something I couldn't wake up from. This, I actually had to live through.

Adam left soon after the confrontation between myself and my parents. He couldn't stand it any more than I could. I now had my ultimatum. Either move away with my family to Boston, probably never to see Adam Brunner again, or stay here with him and leave my family.

I watched as Adam's shadow dissolved into the night air in front of me. Slowly walking back into my house, I caught mama's glance in the kitchen.

"What's the real reason Adam can't come with us? Why can't my future husband come with me, mama?" I was surprised by the tone of my voice. So was mama.

"Please, Sarah" she breathed out. I could tell how frustrated she was by the way she barely even dried the dishes after washing them; very unusual for her precision with most things.

"Tell me, mama" I said angrily. "What is wrong with him." I started getting more and more upset by the second. Mama was ignoring me now, trying to brush me off like I was a child. I was not a child any more.

"I already told you why, Sarah. Now stop with this." Her voice was shaky, uncertain. I knew that was not the real reason for her decision with my future and the people I wanted it to have.

"I am not a child any more!" I shouted, slamming both hands on the table in front of me. My anger was overwhelming me. "Tell me the real reason!"

Mama, wide eyed and angry herself looked at me. "How dare you raise your voice to me" she said sharply. She stepped closer to me, keeping her composure better than I was. "I already told you the real reason-"

"You're lying!" I shouted. Papa and Elijah stopped what they were doing in the living room and ran to the kitchen.

I felt odd arguing with mama. I had never once raised my voice this much to her before and I wasn't used to it at all. But she was lying, I knew she was. I wanted to know why she felted so compelled to keep me away from Adam.

"What's going on?" papa said. His eyes fell on me, hands pressed hard against the kitchen table still.

"Just tell me!" I had had enough of the charades my parents, especially my mama, were playing with me. I wouldn't give up his time.

"FOR GODNESS SAKES, SARAH!" mama exploded. "HE'S AN AMERICAN SOLDIER!"

Her answered surprised me. It had not been anything that I had expected. So what if he was an American soldier? He was our savior, one of our rescuers.

Mama threw her hand towel on the ground with a loud snap. "The things he's seen…they aren't memories you can erase!" I felt the anger ware off mama and become more worried. What was she so scared about?

"Mama…" I was so confused that I didn't even bother to finish my sentence. All eyes in the room focused on mama.

"I saw the look in his eyes when he spoke of his time during the war." Her voice was low, sad, almost disappointed. "Soldiers, Sarah, are not the easiest people to live with for the rest of your life." Mama stepped closer to me, taking my hands tightly in hers. "One action can trigger a memory, one that they thought they had forgotten, and cause them to do things that…" she bowed her head, squeezing my hands more.

So mama was afraid that Adam's gruesome past might cause him to explode on me? To hurt me? Adam would never, ever hurt me. This I knew as a fact.

"What about me? What about the horrible things I've been through? Wouldn't your judgment go for not only soldiers, but the survivors too?"

Mama shook her head angrily, "No, Sarah, because we are not trained killers."

"So you're afraid that his past will cause him to hurt me?" I could barely speak the words with my own tongue. They were too strange, unimaginable.

Elijah stepped in, his voice just as shocked as mine. "Elena, please that's crazy."

"Crazy but not uncommon" papa interjected. "Sarah, I respect the American soldiers but please, my darling, they aren't the most stable people to become attached to." My stomach dropped when I learned that even papa believed what mama did.

"Do you really want to take your chances, Sarah? To spend the rest of your life with a person who has killed another? Who could fall into a deep depression or explode into anger at any given moment"?

"With him, yes." My answer silenced mama. Her eye brows pinched together in confusion and a touch of anger spread across her face. "You don't know anything about him, mama. You don't know how much we feel for each other. He would never hurt me, no matter how upset his past makes him."

I felt the tension in the room go up a couple notches. I could tell my response shocked everyone.

"And if you're so worried about me not being hurt, then you wouldn't have to make me leave him." With one look at Elijah, the two of us left the house.

The road seemed more bumpy than usual. The wind seemed colder than most days. The night seemed darker than ever before. "Elijah, this is insane!"

Elijah stared at his feet as he walked, arms wound tightly across his chest. "I can't believe they're scared of him just because he's a soldier. Anyone with eyes can tell how much he cares for you."

I felt the hot tears warm my frozen eyes. A sick feeling in my stomach made me want to throw up. "I don't want to leave him, Elijah" I whispered. Elijah and I both heard the sobs that I tried to hide in my voice. He stretched out his right arm and curled it around my shoulders, bring me closer to his body.

"I know. Are you still going to marry him?" He sounded odd when he asked this. He sounded like he didn't want me to answer it for the fear that I might say yes.

"Of course I want to but I can't if I'm moving away. Elijah, I really don't know what to do." I paused, trying to take in air. "What do you think?"

Elijah's eyes sharpened and his voice became quieter. "I'm not going to tell you what I think, Sarah." His answer surprised me. "I don't want to lure you into one direction if you're not completely sure if it's the one you want. You know I would do anything for you and you know that I love you but…this, I can't help you with."

I understood his decision. I knew that if he told me what he thought I should do, I would automatically be inclined to that decision.

"I can't do it again, Elijah. I can't have my heart broken again." I wiped my nose on my sleeve, not caring at all about manners any longer. The only thing I cared about was the fact that I was being forced to choose between family or Adam.

"I'm so sorry, Sarah. I wish I could help you." Elijah turned his face towards me, his brown hair falling in his eyes. Raising his hand, he wiped away tears that slowly fell from my eyes.

"I'm never going to be happy, am I?" I bit my lower lip, tightening the hold my arms had around my waist. Elijah's eyes fell to the ground. Rain started pelting us, each drop smashing against me with unbelievable force it seemed like.

"I used to think the same thing after Lev died. But it gets better, Sarah. You're a smart woman and I know you'll make the right decision."

I didn't speak to my parents that night when I came home. Mama, my sweet, understanding mama, couldn't look me in the eyes. Papa tried talking to me, but because he believed the same thing my mama did, I ignored him too.

I decided that I wasn't going to stay in Elijah's room that night. I needed to be by myself, I needed to think about a lot of things. Elijah agreed, making me feel a tiny bit eased.

I groaned as I stuffed my face deep into my pillow. The fabric was thick, slightly itchy on my face as I laid on top of it. The air in my lungs soon began wearing off, the pillow too thick for me to breath threw. My head didn't lift off the pillow, even when I felt the pressure in my chest build up. That slight pressure soon turned into great pressure, my brain begging me to lift my head. My fists bunched up into tight fists as I pressed my face harder against the fabric. The seconds ticked by as my head began to feel dizzy, dizzier.

No air, chocking, the lungs in my chest crumbling up. The feeling of being weightless was intoxicating. Why was I doing this?

_"Get Hannah!" Nathan hissed. I jumped up from my chair, dropping my book to the ground. My heart thumped loudly in my chest. Nathan stood frozen by the window, watching as a gang of Nazis tore apart the apartment beside us and drag out a child._

_"What's going on, Nathan?!" I rushed over to the window and stood beside him, watching as the Nazis dragged the poor child out by his arms. He screamed, cried for his mama. Too bad all the adults were at work now._

_"Oh, no…" Llana reached out her hand, catching mine beside her and squeezed it. "They're…"_

_"They're trying to find all the children that have been hiding while their parents are at work." His voice was sharp, angry and disgusted. H kept his eyes on the window. "Get Hannah!" he said again. I snapped out of the trance I had, watching as the Nazis threw the boy onto a truck, and ran for Hannah. She was in her usual spot when mama and papa were at work; my closet. Our room had a damp but deep closet that had hid Hannah safely for many days. _

_"Come, Hannah" I said, trying not to sound terrified. She was playing, dully, with her paper dolls I had made her. _

_"Where are we going?" she squeaked out. I picked her up quickly and ran to the door that lead to the basement. I had never been so happy we lived on the first floor until then. _

_"Shhh, you must be very, very quiet, Hannah. I need you to stay here until I come get you." I lifted up the blankets that covered a giant hole in the ground we had dug out months ago for cases such as this. Lowering her gently in, I kissed the top of her head. _

_"Sarah!" she cried. Tiny tears fell down her cheeks, making me want to climb in there with her. But I knew I couldn't. The Nazis would be coming soon. _

_"Please, Hannah be quiet. I don't want them to find you!" I patted her cheek gently and smiled. "I promise you I'll come back. I love you." Trying not to cry, I threw the blankets over the hole and ran back upstairs. _

_Nathan and Llana were still by the window when I came back. Nathan looked over at me, his eyes angry. "Is she hidden?" _

_"Yes" I breathed out. "What-" I was interrupted by a loud crash. _

_"Get down on the ground, right now!" Five Nazis, all older, barricaded themselves through our door and jabbed their guns into our faces. I felt my blood turn cold. Their orders were loud, rough and terrifying. We all did as we were told and threw ourselves on to the ground._

_"Don't move or I will shoot you!" One of the Nazis shouted to me as I lay on the ground. I was opposite Nathan, our eyes connected. I felt my hot breath hit the ground under me and smack my face. My hands were trembling and tried as best I could not to cry. Nathan slowly reached his hand closer to mine and held it tightly. My shook enough for the both of us. _

_I heard the basement door slam open. I jumped out of my skin it seemed like. "Nathan…" I cried, tears falling freely down my terror stricken face. His fingers tightened around mine. _

_"Look at me" he mouthed, eyes flickering from me to the Nazi guard ten feet away from us. I raised my eyes to him, his face blurry. "They won't find her" he whispered, almost too quiet for even me to hear beside him. _

_"But, what…" I heard tables and other objects being thrown around downstairs. "Nathan" I moaned. I thought about jumping up right where I laid and racing downstairs myself. Nathan sensed this and pulled himself a fraction of an inch closer to me. The same amount of panic was in his eyes. _

_"Don't move" he commanded. "Just breath, Sarah, look at me." I felt my breath shorten as a silence fell across the Earth. _

_The four other Nazis stomped their way up the stairs, anger on their faces and left. _

_They hadn't found her. _

"Oh!" I tore my face off the pillow, gasping for air. My fingers clawed at my throat as I took in as many deep breaths as I could. How long had I had my head down? "Stupid, Sarah" I breathed out.

Time passed so slowly that night. I knew exactly when everyone in the house fell asleep. You could feel the tension melt away, even if only for a few hours. I envied how easy they were able to fall asleep. Sleep was one thing that never came easily since the war ended. That was until I met Adam. Every night seemed different when I had spent it with him. I closed my eyes, trying against my will to picture my life with out him. It was dark, black, inconceivable. A world I was living when Andreas died.

A world I wouldn't survive twice.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I twisted and turned in my bed until the early morning sun rose. Quick feet shuffled across the floor outside my door. Sighing softly, I rubbed my tired eyes and got out of bed. Throwing on any clothing I could find that were clean, I scooped my hair up in a bun and went to the kitchen.

"You should start packing your things today, Sarah" mama said, setting down a plate of bread and butter in front of me. Her words made me sick, no longer hungry. I quietly pushed the plate away from me. "Sarah" mama sighed, "Please, try to understand what I told you last night."

I wanted to jump up from my seat, scream and yell at mama, but I held my place. Why was it that she couldn't trust me, trust my words and judgments about Adam. "Your views of Adam are too ridiculous for me to understand." I felt my hands ball up into fists underneath the table.

Mama sat down across from me. Dark circles under her eyes helped ease the anger in my heart. I wasn't the only person struggling right now. But why was mama causing me all of this unwanted pain and torture?

"It may seem that he is just like any other man in this world, loving, gentle…but Sarah, war changes people over time." I could almost see the nails she spat out. Her words not only angered me but confused me. Why would she say that? I knew exactly what war could do to a person.

"Have you forgotten what has happened to myself? To this family? Hannah lost her childhood! You lost your son! I lost a piece of my heart, mama!" I fumed, gripping my hands into fists. "How can you say that as if it's a fact I know absolutely nothing about!?" I yelled at her. Without missing a beat, mama slammed her hands on the table and looked at me.

"Because that's what happened to my father!" All was silent for a minute. Mama wept into her hands in a way that could make the devil himself mourn. Her hair fell over her hands as she cried. I stood up from my chair, slowly walking closer to her and draping my arms over her shoulders. It was so strange that one sentence had the effect to melt away all my anger. The only thing I focused on at that moment was the pain my mama seemed to be in.

"Mama…" I rested my head on her shoulders. She slowly lifted her head up and stared at me with red eyes.

"You don't understand" she whispered. "The war will change a man…if he's seen enough. My father, your Zaydeh, was such a different man before he served his time during WW1. He was such a soft spoken man. There wasn't a thing in the world he wouldn't do for you. Everyone loved him. They loved his free spirit, his gentle ways." Mama ran her hands threw her hands and wiped away more tears. "But after the war, he wasn't the same man. He was different, Sarah. The papa I had before the war had been murdered. That's the only excuse I could think of for his depressed ways. He spent the entire day in his room. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep. He didn't even speak to us when he came home." I felt the air thicken as mama went on, describing memories that I had no idea she held a secret. "I barely saw him at home. And eventually, he just left. That's the real reason you never met your Zaydeh. He didn't die, Sarah, he left. He gave up us. On everyone he loved and promised to forever." I finally realized why mama had been so cautious about Adam. Why she wanted so badly for me to move away from him. She didn't want me to see what happened to her own father.

"Mama, I am so sorry" I whispered. Mama opened her arms for me. I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt her fingers brushing away the tears. I sat down on her lap and threw my arms around her neck. I felt like a child instead of a woman of twenty. I buried my face into her hair and sighed.

"I just love you, Sarah, and I don't want you to go through what I did."

"But mama, the love you share for your father is very different from the love I share with Adam." I could see the change of expression in her eyes. It looked like she was finally beginning to see how strongly I felt with Adam. "I've seen his future, mama" I said, sobs erupting from my chest. "And I want nothing more than to be apart of it. And I know there will be those moments when our pasts will catch up on us when we least expect it but…I'm willing to take all of that on if it means I get to have him."

I didn't know what to expect after I had said that. I wasn't used to talking about such adult topics with mama. Love was one thing we didn't touch on most often.

"I just don't want you to get hurt like I did." I heard the sorrow in my mother's voice. I knew that when she looked at me, she was really looking back on those gray days, trying to communicate with her father.

"I can promise you…you and papa taught me well. I know a good person when I see one, mama. Please, don't take him away from me. Don't punish us for another person's mistake."

A long silence. A very long silence passed between us. Mama hugged me tight while she cried. I wondered if even papa knew about this. She always told us stories about her father, how much he loved life. Were they all lies?

"Your too grown up, Sarah." Mama patted my cheek and smiled. "I've seemed to forgotten that you are no longer a little girl."

"I'm still _your _little girl, mama." I swallowed the lump in my throat. Mama nodded her head. Was this it? Was this what I had been praying and hoping for ever since my parents told me that I would be moving away from Adam?

"Alright" she mumbled. "Come with me." Mama took my hand in hers and lead me to their bedroom. I was so confused. I had no idea what she was doing but the way she walked, calm and sure, made me feel that this was going to help me.

I sat on my parents lumpy bed and watched as mama opened up her closet doors and rooted through her belongings. She threw things, she cursed at things which was very un like her and opened boxes until she finally had found what she was looking for. I couldn't see what she was looking at but I knew that it was something very important. The way mama sighed as she lifted it from the dusty, old box made me want to jump up behind her and stare at it too. But I kept my place anxiously and waited as she delicately raised the dress above her head and brought it to me, careful not to drag it across the floor.

"I was always planning on giving this to you when you got married." I saw the tears in her eyes as she laid the beautiful dress beside me on top of the bed. I stood up, linking my arm around mama and gazing a the incredible dress.

"Mama…how did you save…"

"I left it with some close friends before everything happened. I thought I had lost it, but it was exactly where I left it when we came back." Mama reached out and touched the dress with her finger tips gently.

The dress was a dream. It really was the most elaborate, beautiful wedding dress I had ever seen. It was lacy and white. Pure. A silk ribbon strung up the back of it held it tight around the corset waist. I lightly touched the thick, cotton straps on the shoulders and breathed deeply. The skirt of the heavenly dress, extended out a little, made of soft cotton. Intricate designs resembling grape vines, traveled up and down it with a lace trim. It was a dress that I couldn't even imagine with such beauty.

"Papa loved it when he saw me wearing it." Mama closed her eyes, memories of her wedding clouding her mind. I felt horrible that not one picture survived of their wedding that she could look at. But then again, that's what's so precious about memories. Memories move, they have sound, they have feelings and everything else you would want in a memory that pictures don't.

"I love it" I breathed out. I didn't want to touch it. I feared that if I touched the delicate fabric, I might ruin in somehow. "Are you sure?"

"My mama told me the night before my wedding that this was the one day, other than your funeral, when all eyes will be on you. Every person you walk by will see you and envy the beauty you were born with." Mama took my hand in hers. "I want you to wear this dress, Sarah. I'm hoping that it will bring you the amount of happiness and love I have with your papa."

It wasn't long until the entire house found out about my decision. Papa was just as weary as mama had been but as soon as she explained everything to him, I knew that all fears he had were gone.

"You know that I'll always be there if you get into trouble, Sarah" Elijah said, hugging me tight. I hooked my arms under his and held him close. I eventually felt the rhythm of his heart beat with mine in perfect unison.

"And the same here" I whispered.

Planning the wedding wasn't as easy as I might have imagined. Having the problem of moving in exactly one month _and_ having a wedding are too very big topics that take more energy than one has.

No matter how many times I explained to Adam about my parents helping plan this wedding, he still couldn't understand their sudden change in view towards him. I choose not to tell him the real reason why mama felt the need to break us apart for many reasons. Reasons I didn't want effecting the relationship I hoped for in the future between him and my parents.

Then there was the biggest problem of all. Money. I knew clearly that my poor parents just didn't have the money to give me the perfect wedding I had dreamt of since childhood. But in the end, I realized that it wasn't the magnitude of the party but the reason for it. The only thing that mattered was that I was getting married to the man I loved. I was going to be connected to him, tied to him, brought to him for the rest of our lives. That's all that mattered.

"I have family coming down from England, Sarah. They want to help with the wedding." Adam sat in my kitchen with my parents and Elijah over a pot of hot tea. He spoke gently, quietly due to the late hour. We had been planning all that day, trying to sort out where, when and who were going to be invited to our wedding.

"Your mother and sister are coming?" I felt my stomach tighten a little at the idea of meeting his family. I had only seen pictures and a few letters from them. I hoped they were as perfect as Adam was.

"Yes. She and my sister inherited a fortune over there and seemed very eager to help us."

I saw my mama trace the edge of her tea cup with her fingers. They had invited Adam over that evening to discuss some of the details. I wondered how my parents must have felt then, knowing that they were unable to help me as much as they wanted. I smiled at my parents, hating the fact that my theories were probably correct.

Papa cleared his throat and looked at Adam. "Where do you plan on having it?"

I swallowed hard, knowing what my father was trying to hint at. Was it going to be a Jewish wedding, complete with a rabbi, or a catholic wedding with a priest. I stared at Adam who was well aware of what I was thinking.

"Well, sir I never attend church and was very rarely religious growing up. I think all of the religious beliefs in my house hold were handed down to my sister instead of me." I took hold of his hand instinctively. It was odd when I realized I had done that. I immediately sensed his decrease in emotion and tried to comfort him without even thinking. I smiled knowing that this was going to be the rest of my life soon.

"What rabbis are even left anymore?" mama said sadly. Papa placed his hands on the table, thinking hard. Elijah snapped his head up in a quick idea. Everyone stared at him anxiously.

"I know of a very small, very poor but still running synagogue. It's open to the public but since so little Jews go there, it is often empty. I'm sure we wouldn't have to pay much to rent it out for a day." I saw the spark in Elijah's and my parents eyes light up as he spoke of a synagogue. I looked to Adam who I sensed would go with anything my parents suggested. He had only one thing in mind then, and it was the same as mine.

"I'll go there tomorrow to see if they will have us." Adam turned his head to me. "We'll go" he said, smiling. I felt my legs start to bounce under the table in excitement.

"Who will be coming, Sarah?" mama asked.

I felt my heart sink. I had always pictured Nathan at my wedding, standing right next to papa and mama. Then he met Llana and I pictured her standing next to him in the aisle in a beautiful dress. None of that was going to happen anymore. Also, I knew that we didn't have any relatives we knew of that were alive still. Most of them perished in the war. I swallowed the tightness in my throat that threatened to explode.

"Well," I breathed out, "You three of course, Hannah…and that's about it from my side of the family." I sensed the family's mood decline severely when I said that.

"What about your family, Adam" papa asked. "Your mother and sister?"

"And probably my aunt Margret and uncle John." Adam smiled to himself. I had no idea who these people were but I presumed they were people that meant a lot to him. "They always joked around before of how anxious they were to see me waiting for my bride at my wedding." He shrugged his shoulders and laughed. "My mother has probably sent notice to them. They live fairly close to one another."

"And when should this wedding happen?" mama asked. We all knew of the limited amount of time we had for all this to happen.

I spoke up first. "Well…how about a week from Tuesday?" I saw the surprise in everyone face, especially Adam. "I mean well, it has to be pretty quick…"

Mama's smile gave me some relief. I could tell that while we planned this wedding, she made sure not one tear fell from her eye. I knew that there would be plenty of time for crying later. Right now, we had to make arrangements.

Later that night into the early morning hours, I decided that it might be best for me to get some sleep. The last time I had a good night's sleep was when I had spent the night with Adam. I very often thought about that night and I was sure Adam did too. It was the best nights of my life. It felt like it was the beginning of my life. My new one.

"So I'll see you in the morning?" I stood close to Adam as he got his jacket on. Mama and papa had said their goodbyes and gone to bed. We were finally alone. Adam smiled, pulling me closer.

"And the next day, and the next day, and the next day…" he mumbled into my neck. I grabbed hand full's of his thick, dark hair and pulled his lips to mine. His lips felt so warm against my cold ones. I could feel the sexual tension grow between both of us and made the wise, yet disappointing choice to pull away.

"Next time, we'll be married" he said. I sighed. As much as I knew how important it was to be married before making love with another person, I couldn't help myself. Adam and I had already broken that religious law, what other point was there to wait?

Because Adam respected me.

"So what time are we going to the synagogue tomorrow?" _The synagogue… _I hadn't said that word in a very long time. It felt weird in my mouth. Thinking back to when I lost my religion, I felt that awkward balance of emotions in my stomach. I wasn't even quite sure if I ever got it back. I didn't even know if I still believed in God.

God…

Did I still believe in God? I know I didn't when Andreas died. But did I still believe in God with Adam? He didn't feel obliged to believe just because he was going to get married so why should I? I thought so long about that subject that eventually I didn't care. God hadn't helped me during the war so why would he now? The only reason I didn't tell anyone, especially my parents about my loss in faith was because everyone I knew were strong believers. I knew how disappointed my parents would be if they found out that I was questioning my faith then.

Adam's cold hands on the small of my back brought me back to reality. He had slipped his hands under the back my shirt and was warming his hands on my strangely warm skin. It felt nice.

"I love how warm you are all the time" he whispered. I lowered my face closer to the base of his neck and breathed in, deeply.

"I love the way you smell all the time."

It was random, short moments Adam and I had like this that made me question how lucky I was to actually have him. Just the things he said, the things he did made me want to cry, I was so happy! What did I ever do to deserve someone as wonderful as him?

I didn't care. I had him. I wanted him. I loved him. He loved me.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The soles of my feet hurt as I walked. I didn't remember the synagogue being so far away. We had to have been walking for about a half hour because I felt the temperature rise along with my energy.

"Only a little longer" Adam urged me. I felt to silly, like a child being dragged by their mother. I laughed to myself and picked up my step. It wasn't until I noticed Adam smiling at me that I was humming a song. An old song from my childhood.

"That's beautiful" she said, bringing his lips to my cheek. "Sing it aloud?" I swallowed. I had never been the one to sing in front of people. I tried a lot of times but whenever I opened up my mouth for that first note, I'd freeze up and run away. But this was Adam. He nudged my playfully in the ribs. A small giggle erupted from my mouth. He knew that was my ticklish spot and took advantage of it.

"Promise not to laugh?" I looked at him, tightening my grip on his hand. Adam's face went serious and he nodded in promise. "Okay" I breathed out, taking in a calm, deep breath. I opened my mouth and for once, I didn't freeze up. I wasn't even nervous. I sang softly, the best I had ever sang in my life. I loved it and so did Adam.

When my silly, little lullaby ended, I looked up at Adam. He was smiling to himself, a look of complete tranquility on his face. "That was wonderful" he whispered to himself, not knowing I had heard him.

We reached the synagogue about twenty minutes later. It wasn't the way she pictured it. The windows were dusty, the paint on the sides chipping with a bad foundation. But despite all the flaws, I saw Adam's eyes light up when he saw it.

"Do you like it?" I asked him, a little confused at his eager expression. His eyes brows raised on his forehead, eyes wandering around the old building.

"It's perfect" he said. "Come on!" He pulled at my hand towards the giant entrance to the synagogue. I felt my breath catch as we passed through the giant, oak doors and stepped into the sanctuary. I felt a little embarrassed with my lack of faith and trust in it lately. I felt like I almost shouldn't be there, like it was a disgrace to be in there. But no matter what, this _was_ my born religion and I grew up in a synagogue. I still had the right to be inside one, right?

I ran my fingers over the rows and rows of dusty benches, imagining everyone of my family members sitting in them. Aunt Levi, Uncle Shem, Nathan, cousin Dov…everyone. The walls were tall, decorated in cracked yet still visible paintings of our prophets and God. The alter was so gray but still so beautiful. No ancient scrolls had been saved but the marble tables and glass cups still sat on the glorious table.

A tiny man sat in the first row of benches. He had a hat on his head and was wearing an old, handed down suit. He got up as we approached him and smiled. He was a pudgy little man with a bald head under his woolen hat. Dimples formed on either side of his face when he smiled. I liked him already.

"Hello" he said in an American accent much like Adam's. He held out his hand to Adam and then myself, shaking it with chunky fingers. "My name is Harold Mason."

Adam smiled at him and introduced us. "My name is Adam Brunner and this is my fiancé, Sarah Simberstein." _Fiancé. _I shivered with excitement.

"You are looking to rent out the synagogue for a wedding?" I liked the way he said _wedding_. He said it with a smile, looking approvingly at Adam and I.

"Yes" Adam said. I felt his hand slip into mine. "Very soon, like in the next week." The man's eyes widened in surprise. A week did seem like a little short notice but from the state of the hall, I doubted anyone used it much.

"A week?" He took out a cloth from his jacket pocket and dabbed his glossy head. "That's very soon." I heard his voice drop and his brain search around a schedule.

I craned my neck a little closer to him. "How long is the list of people that want to use it?" I asked jokingly but at the same time curious. I saw Adam out of the corner of my eye smile. I looked around, jerking my chin in the direction of the dusty, abandoned alter. "We only need it for a few hours anyway."

Harold took out a small pad of paper from his breast pocket and scribbled down something. I casually tried to sneak a peak at what it was he was writing but he held it too close to his chest. He cleared his throat, noisily, echoing throughout the entire hall. "And how many people are you expecting?"

"No more than twenty." I heard the sympathy in Adam's voice. "A very small wedding."

More writing. More awkward silence. I looked at Adam who just shrugged his shoulders in response. He looked so adorable, then. Trying his hardest to plan a wedding, making sure that all the little feminine details he'd know I love so much were there such as flowers and an organ player to play the wedding song as I met Adam down the aisle.

I as I shook Harold's hand once more, I noticed a tattoo on his arm. A blue tattoo. Numbers. I froze, my hand still in his as he noticed what I was staring and pulled down his sleeve. He was no longer smiling, but almost frowning. He was American, though! How had he been inside a concentration camp? How many others had been around here?

"Too long ago for remembering" he whispered to me as Adam gathered his things. Harold studied me with sad eyes. For some reason, I felt such an over powering amount of sympathy for him that I almost hugged him. I wanted too but he was like me. He didn't want pity and sympathy for what happened to him. He just wanted to forget it.

I followed Adam outside and into the cooling air. He noticed my curiosity immediately and put his arm across my shoulders. "You alright, Sarah?"

"He was a prisoner" I mumbled, holding back tears. Adam let out a breath and remained silent. He didn't look at me or do anything. He just kept walking. "You saw too, didn't you?" I heard the confusion in my own voice. He nodded his head.

"So many people were involved in the war, it's hard to keep track." We walked in silence the rest of the way.

I laid out mama's dress once again on my bed and stared at it. Not once did I not cry at it's sight. I pictured mama, beautiful mama, wearing it on her wedding day with papa. Would Adam and I have as many happy years together as my parents did? Would we have children? I of course wanted children but I had never even asked Adam about it.

The day turned into night until I eventually put the dress away and went to bed. Pulling the covers tight around my neck, I thought about what was going to happen after I was married. Were Adam and I going to move to Boston with my family? Or were we going to live here, by ourselves? every time I asked mama or papa about it, they would reply in "everything has been taken care of" kind of tone.

I felt my eyes begin to feel heavier and heavier and finally let my body succumb to the release of sleep.

"Sarah! Sarah, wake up!" Elijah's voice woke me up just as the sun came up through my window. I rubbed my groggy eyes and lifted myself up onto my elbows. Elijah threw himself down eagerly beside me on my bed and passed me an envelope. It was heavy. Too heavy to be just a letter. Tiny letters in all capital print was written on the top right corner.

"What is this?" I asked him. I turned it around in my hands. Elijah just shook his head and pointed to the writing.

"It says your name on it" he pointed out. "Open it up. It just came about a minute ago.

I slid my finger under the flap of the envelope and tore it open. I peeked inside curiously and caught my breath. My eyes turned into giant circles as I stared what was inside the envelope. Elijah peeked over my shoulder anxiously. I pinched the bottom of the bag and turned it upside on my bed allowing the wads of American dollar bills spill out all over my bed in front of me.

"Oh, my goodness!" Elijah picked up a wad of cash in his hands and flipped through it. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even call for mama and papa to look at what we had just discovered.

"Where did this come from?" I asked, still in shock. I had never seen so much money before.

"I don't know but there has to be over two hundred dollars here, Sarah!" Elijah's eyes beamed with excitement. "You know what this means now, don't you!?" He put his trembling hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. "You will finally get the wedding you deserve!"

I looked again into the envelope for a note or a letter to explain to me who sent this to me and why they did. I reached my hand inside and pulled out a tiny scrap of paper. It looked like it had been torn out of the corner of a notebook page. I read it out loud to Elijah who was still fawning over the rolls of cash still in my lap. Only five words were written on it that made me the most confused I had ever been.

_ My last gift to you. _

I traced all through my mind, searching for any person who this could possibly be from. I didn't even know anyone that had this much money to their name. But their "last gift to me"? It couldn't possibly be from…no. No. It wasn't from Andreas. He was dead. He has been for almost three years.

"You don't think that…" I placed my hand on my heart, trying to steady my breathing.

"No, Sarah. He's dead. It's impossible." Elijah wiped away loose strands of hair that fell in front of my eyes. "Its probably from a relative of something." A relative. Yes. A relative. "We should bring this to your mama and papa.

Mama and papa couldn't even think to whom would give me so much money and why. We didn't know of any other relatives that had survived the war that would be the ones who sent the money. They were simply in awe and amazement when I spilled out the money in front of them.

"What should I do with it?" I sat down at the kitchen table, eyeing the money spread out in front of me. Papa looked at the money and took my hand in his.

"Sarah, whoever sent this money wanted it to be for _you_. This isn't our money, it's yours. You spend it for your wedding. It's five hundred and fifty dollars that must be spent wisely." I listened to papa carefully and took in his words. Of course I would give some of it to them but the rest I could spend. I had so many things that I needed and could by. First, I needed to save some for my life after I was married. But I could also spend some on my wedding, making it even more perfect.

I grabbed my sweater and ran all the way to Adam's apartment to tell him. I took the rickety steps two at a time, breathing heavily by the time I reached his floor. I knocked loud and quickly on his door until he opened it. He rubbed his eyes with a tired expression. It only then hit me of how early it was.

"I'm sorry for waking you up" I said. Adam smiled and nodded his head.

"I was just getting up anyway" he said. I knew he was lying to avoid hurting my feelings. I hugged him close and stepped inside his apartment. "I have something for you."

"So do I" I said as Adam took my hand and led me over to his living room.

"I have been wanting to give it to you since last night." A huge grin spread across his face. Whatever he wanted to give me, it was something that he was very excited about. "Wait here." I watched as he ran back to his bedroom for a moment. Looking around his living room, I sighed and placed my hands on my hips. He had really let the room go since last time I saw it. Dirty clothes, old newspapers, pizza boxes were littered across the floor. Rolling up my sleeves, I made my way over towards the couch and piled up all the dirty shirts and pants into one big pile. That took all of a minute to do and once I had finished, I moved over to the coffee table, sorting out the magazines from newspapers.

"You know, you're really sexy when you clean." Adam's voice scared me. I spun around and found him leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Sexy?" The word was unfamiliar to me. A lot the words Americans used everyday all around me were ones I had never heard of or even used. _God damn it!_ That was one I heard most of all. "Is that good?" Adam's smile grew wider.

"Very good" he said. For some reason, I began to feel a little sexual tension as he watched me clean. Then I remembered. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to tell him the reason why I had come so early. Adam knew just how to distract me from just about anything when he put his mind to it.

"Adam…" I said, putting down my pile of laundry. "Adam something came today that really, really surprised me."

"Okay. But can I go first?" His adorable smile and pleading eyes got the better of me. I sighed and sat down on the couch. "I should've have given you this a while ago but I wanted it to be something a little nicer than what I could afford then." Reaching down into his pocket, Adam pulled out a small velvet box and opened it for me. I caught my breath as I saw the tiny, silver ring that shined inside it.

"Adam…" I couldn't speak. It was too beautiful, too perfect. Adam took my shaking hand in his and slipped the ring onto my fourth finger on my left hand. I was always raised knowing that the marriage ring was given to the bride on the actual wedding day and on a different finger. But Adam was so American and didn't know any of this. I smiled at him, bringing his face close to mine.

"I love it." And I really did. The mold of it fit perfectly onto my fingers, making me shiver. "Adam" I said, remembering what I needed to show him.

"Yeah?" His mind was still on the ring on my finger. He held my hand in his, kissing the tip of the finger the ring wrapped around.

"A package came today." He looked at me, confused on why I was making such a big deal out of it. "In it was five hundred and fifty dollars." I watched as his eyes turned cautious and curious.

"Who was it from?" His voice was a little too cautious, making me wish I hadn't said anything to him yet. I felt the alertness in his voice increase as I showed him the letter that came with the package. "Any idea of who could've sent this?" he asked, thumbing threw the bills.

"Not a clue." Was a I lying? Why did I feel that twist in my stomach each time I looked at the note? There is absolutely no chance it could be from him. He wouldn't do that to me, send me packages without personally delivering them. "Well, my family thinks its from a relative of mine, one that survived the war, but none of us are sure."

I saw the cautious look in his eyes melt away slightly as I mentioned it was probably from a relative, giving me some relief. "Adam" I breathed out. "I think we should spend some of it on our wedding."

"Are you sure? Because my sister is so willing to help us, too." I could almost taste the uncertainty in his voice. He was definatly not comfortable with this entire deal but who and in what position were we in to afford not to use this money wisely?

"Yeah" I said, practicing my American slang that Adam used all the time. I think he liked when I used those sayings because I usually got them all mixed up in some kind of way.

After staying with Adam for almost the entire day, which passed like minutes, I decided it was best to leave and help mama with the preparations. I held him tightly, for I knew what was coming.

I buried my hands deep inside my pockets against the chilled wind and kept my head down as I walked the streets filled with mother's shopping with their children, fathers and grandfathers cleaning up their stores for the day. It started raining as I slowly got closer to my home.

_"Run faster, Sarah!" Mama dragged me by my arm with all her might and trying at the same time not to hurt me. I could see the panic in hers eyes and it quickly spread to me. _

_"We still have five minutes" I breathed out against the sticky, humid night air. Mama and I had been out shopping with the pitiful amount of money and goods we had. It seemed that we would always come home with less food that we brought to barter with. _

_"They don't care, Sarah!" Mama's voice was sharp and quick, panicked. "All Jews have to be indoors earlier than the curfew. It's almost like an unwritten rule that everyone must follow." _

_"That makes no sense! Why have a curfew then?" I saw mama look at me in the corner of her eye. Beads of perspiration fell down the sides of her face. I felt so sorry for my mama then. Even though I was only eighteen then, mama still felt the urge to shelter me like a child. I guess that's the way it is with all mothers and their children. No matter how old you get, mama is always the one that makes sure they're in harms way instead of you._

_"Nothing makes any sense now" she whispered._

_We heard gun shots ring out in the air. I saw our little, beat up apartment not far from where we were. Fifty more steps, it had to be. I was sure we would make it. I was wrong. Out of no where, Nazis, all armed, ran out into the streets. The air raid sirens began howling as everyone scrambled into their positions. The guards propped up their cannons and artillery and began their ferocious attempts of brining down all planes hovering over the ghetto. I remembered seeing their green helmets bounce and bobble on their heads like dolls. I almost wanted to laugh. _

_"Hurry, Sarah!" mama screamed over the roar of the bombs being set off all around us. I grabbed mama's hand tighter and ran as fast as I could. Suddenly, a ringing sound deafened me and soon followed by a huge explosion. Both mama and I were thrown to the ground, my head crushed against the hard concrete. I landed on my back, arms spread out at my sides. I screamed out mama's name and felt the ground around me for her. Clouds of smoke surrounded me as I trailed my hands along the ground. Everything sounded as if I were deep, deep under water. All noises blended into one mumbling sound with constant ringing in my ears. _

_"Mama!" I yelled. German voices shouted all around me. The sky turned red. Blood red. I became more nervous as more seconds passed and still no mama. Even if she did call back to me, I probably wouldn't have heard her. _

_"Come on! Get up!" A voice, German, filled my ears with much authority. Their mouth was very close to my ear, his lips touching the rims of my ear, indicating to me that I had probably not heard his instructions the first time. I had no idea who it was but that they were definatly German. Two hands hooked under my arms and hoisted me to my feet. My legs flailed under me as the person began dragging me over to my apartment._

_"I have to find my mama!" I screamed at the person. I turned my body and looked at the German helping me. "You!" I said. It was him. It was the Nazi that had spared me from punishment the night I was caught after curfew. The one that had smiled at me. Andreas. _

_"I'll find her! You go!" He still looked the same. But then again, why would he look any different? I had only last seen him three days ago. _

_"NO! Nein!" Another bomb sounded off too close to us this time. I was once again thrown to the ground. Andreas threw himself on top of me and shielded my body with his. I listened to the screams and orders of the German soldiers and wondered where my mama was. She was just with me. I was holding her arm not more than a minute ago. _

_"Are you alright?!" he yelled into my ear which was ringing more now than ever. I thought my ear drums had exploded for a moment. I coughed the smoke and debris out of my lungs and nodded my head. My lungs were dusty and chalky in my chest. I needed water, badly. But I needed to find mama first. _

_"Mama?" I called out. Andreas' hand was still on my arm as I stumbled to my feet. Both my shoes had fallen off my feet and the broken glass from the buildings that were no more cut my feet. "Mama, please answer me!"_

_"I'll find her, I promise!" Andreas took me by my shoulders and stared at my face. "You have to hurry!" I noticed the thin layer of perspiration on his face and the amount of concern in his eyes. His blond hair fell into the way of his eyes as he looked at me. _

_"I'm not going anywhere until I find her!" More rounds of artillery spewed around us. I covered my face and broke away from his grasp. I felt the pieces of glass slice into my toes as I felt the ground below me for mama. _

_"Sarah!" That was mama's voice. I ran through the cloud of smoke and found mama on her back, arms outstretched to me. I hugged her close and shielded her body as more bombs began going off around us. How long would this last!? "Sarah, my leg…" I took her trembling hand off of her leg which was covered in blood. I cringed and quickly covered it. _

_"Come on" I said as I tried helping her up. Now, I was only a thin eighteen year old at the time and mama was a thin thirty two year old woman. I wasn't as strong as I used to be and had a lot of trouble trying to carry her. My bleeding feet slid and stumbled in different directions as I tried walking with mama's arm around my shoulder. With a loud groan, she slid right out of my grip and onto the ground._

_"GO! I have her!" I spun around to find Andreas running towards me. He had a small trail of blood running down from a cut above his eyebrow. "Hurry!" Andreas said to me as he quickly picked up mama and carried her all the way back to our apartment. _

_Papa, Nathan, Hannah and Llana all stood by the door once we were inside. Each one the same look on their faces. At first, terror and fear, then shock and caution as they saw mama being carried in by a Nazi Youth. _

_"Sarah!" Llana rushed over to me and hugged me tightly. Nathan and papa ran over to mama and helped her onto the couch. "We all were so worried" Llana said, smushing her face into my hair. "What happened?" _

_Andreas laid mama down on the couch and backed away slowly. He knew of the trouble he could get into from what he had just done. I tore my gaze from papa and Nathan hovering over mama and looked at Andreas. He looked so scared, so confused. _

_"Stay here" I said, surprised at my own words. Andreas shook his head. His brown uniform was dirty and torn at the seems. _

_"I must go now" he said, turning around and running out of our front door. On impulse, I ran after him, my bare feet slapping against the wooden floor boards of the long hallway. _

_"Please, wait!" I saw him stop in his tracks, but not because I was calling after him. His head was pointed out of the hallway window. I saw his eyes widen in horror. _

_"Get down!" We both hit the floor at the same time, just as an explosion shook the entire apartment. Rubble flew down from the ceiling. I was scared that the whole building would collapse on top of us all. They weren't built to handle this much chaos. _

_Andreas climbed to his feet. Screams echoed through out the entire building. "I will be shot if they find out what I have done." I could feel the worry in his voice and instantly felt sympathy for him. _

_"I won't let them" I said, stumbling my way closer to him. It was as if the strange pull I felt towards him ever since the first night I saw him was finally reeling me in. I ignored the stinging pain in the soles of my feet and gripped the edges of his coat. He pulled back an inch in surprise. His eyebrows pinched together as I went on. "Will you come back?" For some reason, I felt the instant need to see him again. _

_"I-I can't." The sky darkened as the sounds of artillery and explosions ceased. No more shouts, no more screams. Dead silence. I felt my hands tremble as I realized that I was still holding onto his jacket. He looked down at me, blue eyes boring into mine. _

_"Please" I begged. "Mama and myself would be dead now if not for you." I bit my lower lip, feeling the tears fall down my face. Andreas closed his eyes and opened them slowly at me._

_"Sarah, please. That's exactly what they want" he said, sighing, hating his own words. "They want all of you dead. I have committed treason…" He cut himself off as orders broke the deadly silence. They were coming our way. Andreas snapped his attention in the direction of the Nazis running up the hallway. He quickly pushed me into the shadows of a small niche and ran up to them. _

_"Andreas! What are you still doing here? You should be in the bunker!" I listened, my hands close to my mouth, to the rough, yet concerned, voice speaking to him. _

_"But Uncle, I am not the one who will be hiding while my country needs me!" he shouted back. His words hurt me. Even after all he had just done for me, he still was a Nazi. My heart sunk as I realized that he wanted to be one of them. He choose to be. But then why would he have spared my life twice? _

_I peered around the corner and watched as the man standing with his back to me put his hand on Andreas' shoulder. Andreas saw me and his eyes grew wider. I quickly sunk back behind the wall and waited until they were done talking. I looked down at my toes and soles of my feet which were badly bleeding. Faint foot prints lead from the hallway all the way to where I was standing. _

_I felt my heart race as I heard foot steps come my way. "Good bye, Sarah" he said, hesitantly. _

_"Why did you do that?" I said, getting angry for some strange reason. Andreas turned around and started walking back towards me, taking heavy strides. I could sense the frustration in his body language that wasn't too different from mine. _

_"Would you rather I leave you for dead next time, ja?!" His eyes were hard yet tense at the same time. His face was very close to mine. I held my ground, trying to hide the shivers that shook my body from his anger. _

_"Twice we have run into each other and twice you have not behaved as one of the beasts they've trained you to become!" More shots ran through the air. More shouting and more screams. All of that didn't matter to me anymore. Just this. I stepped even closer to Andreas so that our noses were almost touching. The anger in his face started to slowly disintegrate as I went on. "Why?!"_

_His eyes dug holes into my face. Sad holes. I thought briefly that I had just hit a tender nerve in his heart. "I don't know why! You know what the orders that were given to us were for anyone who is caught outside after curfew, Sarah? Execution on sight! Can you honestly stand here and ask me why I didn't do that to you that night?! Would you rather I had?" The anger we both were feeling somehow had brought us another fraction of an inch closer. Suddenly, all my anger melted away as I realized how close we_

_were. It went silent for a few more seconds. Not awkward silence, but nice silence. Silence that blocked out all the fighting going on outside and allowing us to focus only on that moment. _

_All the anger, all the confusion and irritation I had felt molded into a totally new emotion. Attraction. Why on earth was I being pulled into this Nazi's eyes so much? And for some reason, just by looking into his eyes and at his face, I got the feeling he felt the same way. _

_His voice was low, mumbled. "Maybe I didn't choose to be what they want me to" he whispered, warm breath hitting my cheeks. "Maybe they forced me to join for the protection of their own skins, not caring about what I think." And just like that, he leant in and pressed his lips against mine. I felt the instant rush of color run to my face as his hands found the small of my back and pulled me closer. At first, I was extremely surprised, enough to almost pull back. But then I felt how sweet and gentle he was and fell into him. _

_"I have already committed treason twice…why not again?" he said, pulling away from me. I didn't smile on the outside but inside I felt warm for the first time in a very long time. Andreas raised his hand to my cheek, touching it softly. _

_"And again" I said taking his fingers in my hands and kissing them gently and letting my lips burn holes, Jewish holes, into his finger tips. _

**I am so sorry for being lazy. Please, don't follow my laziness. I had gone on vacation and then the burden of school took up so much of my time. I really hope you like this chapter. All the time I had spent doing other things had left me with ten pages worth of writing material! **

**Have an awesome life everyone ) **

**TwilightFanGirl xoxo**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

It was the night before the week Adam and I weren't allowed to see each other until the day of the wedding. We had been talking and planning all night at his apartment and I thought it would be a good idea to go over what the wedding would be like.

"Alright. Now pay close attention." I placed Adam by my side and pretended to hold onto my mama's arm. I gestured for him to do the same. "Now, my father will escort you up to the Chuppah." I could tell by the confused expression on Adam's face he clearly had no idea what I was talking about. "It's a canopy that we'll be married under. And also, it's customary for the groom, or Choson as we called it, to wear a white garment as the marriage takes place."

"So that's why we are only using the church hall for the party?"

"Exactly. See, the Jewish traditions on marriage are very strict but very special when you learn the meaning behind them all." I waited until Adam had walked up to our imaginary Chuppah. "Now my mama will escort myself up beside you." I began my slow pacing until I reached him. "We're married out side under the sky for God and all the angels to see. We want our love and marriage to be known to the world." I blushed as Adam's eyes flickered across my face.

"Okay, come up with father, stand real still, head bowed. Then what?"

"Then, myself and my family circle you seven times." I began making my circles around Adam and explained more. "This is to symbolize the seven fold bond we have for each other. It also represents the holy number seven and how it was the time that God took to create the Earth." I was completing my seventh circle when I felt the tips of Adam's fingers reach out and brush my hip. I blushed once again and stood at his right side.

"Then what?" I could tell that he was becoming more and more interested in my traditions.

"The rabbi refers to you as a king" I said, poking him playfully in the ribs. Adam's eye brows raised in surprise.

"So that would make you my queen, right?" I felt his hands once again touch the small of my back. I nodded my head enthusiastically.

"See, you're understanding it all" I said. "Now, the rabbi will say a special marriage prayer for us, and chant a welcoming prayer as well. We are both wrapped in a fine prayer shawl symbolizing our love that had bonded us together. Then a glass cup we drink wine from, wrapped in cloth, is placed on the ground for you to break with your right foot. It's supposed to symbolize the destruction of our Holy Temple in Jerusalem. Also, that love is fragile and must be taken with much care."

"Alright, alright" Adam said. "Can we just have some relaxing time since I'm not going to see you for a whole week after tonight?" He grabbed my hand and led me over to the couch were in buried myself in his arms.

"I know it sounds hard but just think how happy my parents are with the decision to keep our wedding as traditional as possible will make them!" I rested my arm across his chest and toyed with his dog tags that constantly hung around his neck.

I heard him take in an unsteady breath. I lifted my head to his and looked at him. Something was worrying him. "Sarah, do you think that, we'll, if your parents knew about what we have already done in this relationship…not that I would ever, ever take it back for anything…"

"You think that they would shun our marriage because of that?" I rolled my eyes. "Adam, what we did was something that should be cherished, whether we were married or not. It was our decision. And since we both love each other, it doesn't matter to me." Boldly, I pressed my lips to his and kissed him until I could no longer breath. I heard a low groan come from his throat.

"Sarah, you are really not making this any easier for me." He sighed while I laughed, heart fluttering like crazy.

"I'm sorry." I backed away a little, surprised when I felt the grip of Adam's hand on my mine tighten.

"I'm stronger than I look" he said, smiling. I had to close my eyes for a second, telling myself that once was enough before we were even married. If we succumbed to the high sexual tension that burned inside of each other, their probably would be no stopping us.

Back in the ghetto, doing such a thing as making love with another man never even crossed my mind. I had never had a boyfriend before or anything like that. No boy had ever found me attractive in such a way like Adam did. But why me? I ruminated over the chance a strong, attractive man such as Adam Brunner would ever fall for a simple, troubled girl like me?

I felt his gentle hands on the small of my back and travel down to my thighs. Why was the attraction I had towards him so strong? I didn't make a move to back away because to be honest, I didn't want to.

"Maybe since we aren't going to see each other for a while, we could?" I asked. The same nervous feeling in my stomach I felt the first time we made love happened again and set off a whole new sensation of feelings inside me.

Adam lifted my chin up to him and kissed me gently. I heard him whisper in my ear words so sweet, my head felt light. I took his hand and placed it on my chest. Goosebumps formed on his forearms and mine. I reclined back on his couch, Adam hovering over me. He lowered his head and kissed my throat. I heard soft moaning escape my mouth as he gently pin my arm above my head and lift my shirt off. In one motion, Adam crossed his hands over the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

The sight of his body would never cease to amaze me and take my breath away. Never once did I feel embarrassed or nervous as his eyes passed over my exposed body. I took his face in my hands and kissed him everywhere, his cheeks, his eyes, his scar.

"SARAH!" someone screamed from outside before Adam and I could have reached the climax of our love.

I almost didn't hear my name being called if not for Adam jumping off of me and stare at the door. His eyes were sharp, arms outstretched slightly at his sides. I stared at him, frightened of how alert he was. Loud knowing continued coming from the front door.

"SARAH, ARE YOU HERE?" The voice was too panicked for me to recognize. I sat up quickly and grabbed my clothing off the ground. Frantically pulling on my blouse, I ran to the door and went to open it. Adam who had dressed himself in half the time I had was beside me, held it close mouthing for me to get back. The knocking became even louder. Adam grabbed the door handle, gun in hand and prepared to open it. In one motion, he swung open the door and aimed the gun at the person standing in the way. It was the same way he had done with me three weeks ago.

"Elijah?!" Adam breathed out, lowering his gun and sighing. I ran to the doorway and stared at Elijah. He was covered in sweat and frantically breathing. Something was very wrong.

"Sarah…" Elijah was crying. Tears filled his beautiful eyes and made me suddenly more nervous than I had ever been in my life. More nervous than the day I arrived at Oskar Schindler's work camp. Something was so wrong and I knew it. What I didn't know was just how badly it would send my perfect world into a chaotic Ferris wheel ride that would never stop.

"What?! Elijah, what happened?" I grabbed both of his shoulders and shook him. My breathing was heavy as seconds passed by. Elijah couldn't even look at me.

"A…fire. Sarah, I'm so sorry." My entire body went cold. A fire? Just a fire? Was anyone hurt?

"Elijah! Tell me what's wrong! I know that's not all of it!"

What happened next is such a blur. I keep replaying it in my head, trying to work out just exactly what happened. The only thing that I remember clearly was how hard Elijah was crying as he told me about the fire that had eaten up our apartment and had killed my father. My father. He was coming back from work that day and noticed thick, black smoke seeping from our room. He ran in and grabbed my mama, sister and Elijah and never made it out himself.

I felt the hard slam of kitchen tile on the back of my head and Adams arms around me instantly. The ground suddenly turned into a mass of nothing and I was in the air. The soft cushion of his couch felt good under my head.

"Sarah, Sarah honey you can't go to sleep. Stay awake!" I wanted to tell him to stop yelling because it was only adding to the amount of pain inside my head. But I didn't care at all. I could've been standing next to a loud speaker then and not have said anything. My father, papa, was dead. I heard Adam call out my name again and didn't bother to close my eyes. I was so tired and all I wanted to do was sleep for the rest of my life. I never wanted to wake up. Not without papa.

"Sarah, open your eyes." I felt Adam sit me up on his couch and gently tap my cheeks. I opened them slightly and felt my head roll around on my neck.

"No, no, no, no…" I mumbled to myself. It was all coming back to me now.

Elijah came closer to me and put a cold towel on my forehead. I heard him sniffle and rub his face. I suddenly became very angry. I'm still not quite sure about exactly what I did, but I knew that before I knew it, I was pushing Adam's hands away from me and shoving past Elijah towards the door. I needed to find mama and Hannah.

I ignored Elijah's calls and ran as fast as I could. My head felt so light as the ground began swaying from left to right. I forgot a couple of times where my house was, or had been, but soon made it there. I only had to follow the bright, red lights and smell of the smoke.

My hands covered my mouth and muffled my cries as I saw my charred apartment building. The entire top floor, my floor had been reduced to nothing but black, wooden walls with no roof. I pushed past the men in matching uniforms carrying large water hoses and found my family. Mama was sitting on the ground, moaning and rocking back and forth. Hannah stood silently beside her, tears streaming down her face. Why wasn't mama holding her and comforting her?

"Hannah" I said as I picked her up and held her close to me. She was shaking violently, as was I. she buried her face in my hair and cried with me.

"Papa! Papa." Her voice pierced through my heart.

I eventually set her down and walked slowly towards mama. She had her hands over her face, shielding her pain filled face. I didn't want to hug mama yet. When someone you love with all your heart dies, the last thing you want is to be touched.

"Miss?" I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to face an older man. He was wearing a firefighter's uniform. His helmet was tucked under his arm and he was holding something small in his hand. "This is all that's left" he said, sadly. He reached for my hand and opened it up, placing my father's prayer book. The edges were a little black and crispy but the pages were still intact. It smelled of burning wood and was still warm as the man closed my fingers around it and left.

I thought that if this book wasn't the last thing I had left from my papa, I would have probably tossed it into the rubble. It was a symbol of everything I had believed in for my entire life and something that I was finding out to be a lie. Nothing but false promises of peace and resurrection.

It started raining. It came down in thick drops, dampening the burnt wood. I stood in the middle of the street staring up at what was left of my house. It only took about three minutes of me listening to my mama's cries and watching frantic people running around to realize that I was soaked and shivering. My hair clung to my face, rain mixing with my tears.

I didn't feel the coat that was placed around my shoulders from the fact that I was numb from head to toe. I didn't feel Adam's presence behind me and I didn't feel his arms around my waist. I didn't hear him say "lets go, baby" and I didn't know until I was laying down in Adam's bed that my family and I were staying there for a while.

The lights were off in his room. The only source of light was the shadow of the moon illuminating through the window. Mama and Hannah were sleeping in the spare room across from us, Elijah in the living room. Adam sat down on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. I hadn't said a word since Elijah had told me about everything and I didn't plan to for a while.

"Your family will stay here for as long as they need to. I'll take up a second job with my friend's father at his lumber yard and you'll be staying here, resting." Adam wasn't asking me this, he was telling me. I didn't move or speak after he did. I just laid down on my back, staring at him. I'm not even sure if I was breathing but I knew Adam was. He was sighing and trying to say something. "And the wedding will have to be pushed back a while. I'll call my family tomorrow, they won't mind. And I'll call the hall. Don't worry about anything, Sarah, I'll take care of it all." He didn't look at me as he spoke but I looked at him. "Sarah, I'm so sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am. But don't worry- I'll take care of everything."

I wanted to speak so badly but I couldn't. I wanted to cry out for my papa and make him come back. My eyes were dry and my body ached. Adam turned his head and looked at me. I started crying again as I caught a sight of his face. It looked almost as bad as I felt.

"Sarah, please say something" he said. His voice was as dry as my throat. I stared at him and thought of what I should say. What did he expect me to say? "Sarah…"

I rolled over on my side and faced the wall. I couldn't face him, I couldn't see the look on his face anymore. I bit my bottom lip hard and tried not to let out my sobs. I listened to the soft footsteps and closing of the door until I let out a shaky breath. The entire night was filled with cries and moans that came from my body. I thought about my papa, every single memory I had with him. I remembered him helping me learn my prayers for my bar mitzvah. I remembered the times when he would be the only person that could help me feel better after a hard day. I thought about the time he went to the house of the boy who bullied me during second year school and had a long conversation with his parents. The boy never bothered me again. I remembered all the times he would try to persuade my mama into letting me go out with my friends. Then my mind wandered over to the war and our time in the ghetto. Papa was the one I went to most times when I was frightened. I always felt safe with him. Now, he was gone.

Gone.


	25. Chapter 25

Final Chapter.

As with every chapter of my life came a story and an ending. In this chapter, I felt pain like no other. It seemed like the death of Nathan, Llana, and Andreas all came rushing back to me with the new death of my papa. I ruminated for months on how quickly my life went from being normal to bad, then to really bad, then to the worst it could ever be.

It seemed that whenever something terrible happened to me, something good happened not long after it. When I was taken from my family to Oskar Schindler's work camp, I was reunited with my parents not long after. When I was informed about the death of my brother I met a life long friend, Elijah, to help me survive. Then there was the time I found out about Andreas and his death. I thought I would never recover from that. I believed that nothing would ease the pain. That's when I met Adam. I met one person that I knew would never take the place of my first love but found could love just as hard.

It was like a pattern. A hard, emotional pattern in my life that would never quit. Bad, good, bad, good, bad, good. But now it was bad. What good could possibly happen after something as bad as this? There are no people I could meet, no person I cold befriend to help me live through this phase in my life.

Wait.

There is something. It came to me after the third month of grieving. A wedding. _My_ wedding. Could that have been the good after my something bad? I could've laughed when I thought about it. I felt like God was playing tricks on me. I felt as if my life was just a way to prove the power he can have over people's happiness and pain. I'll admit, I had said to myself dozens of times how I hated God for what he had done to me. Then I got thinking again. I had a lot of time to think. Maybe God hadn't done this to me. Maybe it was the only way that I would truly appreciate what good I have coming for me in life.

I think that I really lucked out that night I went for a walk by myself. The night I met Adam in an unfortunate, but exciting way. Had I known what a good man he was, how well he would take care of me during my long months of grieving after papa's death, I wouldn't have waited so long to marry him. But that's the thing with love. You _have_ to wait for just the right moments to act. They will come, I promise you. You just have to be patient.

It took many days of resting in Adam's bed and staring off into space for me to realize how lucky I really was. I had survived a war, a loss and the hardships my future had brought me. I had found love in the most unlikely way, twice. Some people never find love in their life. I did and that's a main reason for my will to move on. I did exactly what I did when I found out about the death of Andreas. I grieved but then I got back on my feet. I fell down but had help getting back up. Who says that help is wrong?

Adam and I got married as soon as things were beginning to sort out again. After so long without speaking, I almost forgot how to talk with him again. He took care of that as well. Adam understood with so much compassion everything I was going through. All he had to do was hold me and not leave my side, no matter how grey I had been acting.

I worried myself to the point of spending the night in a bathroom with my head in a toilet over the chance that Adam might get sick of my depression and not want me anymore. What if all this moping I was doing was the last straw for him with me? Every morning I was afraid that I would find him waiting in the kitchen, ready to tell me to move out with my family. But it never happened. It never happened.

Every day he was there, ready to help me get through yet another day. When the time came that my weight loss and depression was at its all time low, I knew it was time for it to stop. Mama on the other hand never fully recovered.

Our wedding was simple and as traditional as we could make it. Only Hannah, mama and Elijah on my side and a few of Adam's relatives. It really was a beautiful wedding. Mama cried as soon as she saw me in the dress Adam's aunt Petunia bought me for the wedding since mama's had been lost in the fire.

I can see the look on Adam's face each time I close my eyes. I had never seen a pair of eyes that adored so badly before. Of course, my vision was blurred from crying as soon as I came up to the canopy. The rabbi, a friendly, old man with a long beard, blessed us with a smile.

I have to admit, of course my insides were aching as I looked at the missing person standing beside my mama. But then I heard his voice in my head almost half way during the ceremony. My throat tightened up as I heard the voice of my father, my brother and Andreas in my head.

_Oh, Sarah. Why so full of tears? _My father's distinctive, gentle voice rang out in my ears. _Have you forgotten what day it is? My child, this should be the happiest day of your life. You are marrying a wonderful man. _

But papa, I miss you. I miss Nathan.

_I'm with him and I'm with Andreas. We're all watching you, my child. We always will._

And with that, I smiled and took in a deep breath. I listened to the rhythmic chants of the rabbi and felt Adam's eyes on me as he circled around seven times. He looked so professional as if he had been taught this all his life. It made my eyes swell with tears of happiness.

After that ceremony, Adam and I succumbed to each other's wants almost the entire night. Our lips never parted, neither did our bodies. It did feel different making love to Adam as a married couple but was just as wonderful. I couldn't think of a time when I felt so at ease, so safe, so happy before in my life.

My life had been so much more than I had expected. Sometime I think about the beginning of it all, the day I first was sent into the ghetto with my family and how it affected me. What would I be like if none of that had ever happened to me? What if I had never taken that walk that night?

Too many questions, Sarah.

There was no point in asking those kinds of questions anymore. There is no more need for feeling sorry for myself, friends and family anymore. The point in surviving was to live on and try to repair your life, to make it into what was going to be before all the horrible events from war happened.

And that's what I did. I forgave every single soul that harmed me. There was absolutely no point in staying bitter and unhappy for the rest of my life, especially when I was with my loved ones.

I had two children with Adam. Two beautiful children, Marie and Daniel, who Adam and I absolutely adore. I never thought I could love another person so much until I had my babies and having a father such as Adam for them just made my life so much happier. He loves them just as much as I do and would put his life on the line for all of us. Is that God's way of showing how much you really care for another? By sacrificing yourself for them? I know I would in a heart beat for my family. I've known that ever since the day I fell in love with Adam.

We try not to bring up our pasts as much as possible not only for our children's sake, but for our own. Those kind of bad memories are ones that shouldn't be apart of your life anymore. Why wallow in the past when there's so much to do in the present?

Sometimes when I'm all alone and the children are at school and Adam is at work, I find myself tracing back to my younger years. And sometimes, once in a while, I think of Andreas, never forgetting him and the countless others that helped shaped me into the woman I have proudly become today.

Thank you.

"_Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning."_

_-_John Henry Cardinal

_Hello, everyone! OMG I can't believe that I have finally finished my story. I really, really hoped you enjoyed reading it and thank you so much for the wonderful words of encouragement I have received. You have no idea how much they helped. _

_I thought that I would end the story with a real SLAM! I choose to give Sarah's life one more chaotic spin and then leave her alone for the fact that no one's life should be miserable forever. _

_I also think that I should tell you guys that I was THIS CLOSE to bringing Andreas back from the "dead" somehow. But then I got thinking and said to myself "Oh come on, Lizzy. Don't make this into some sappy soap opera." __J_

_See, that's the great thing about writing. You can change your story with the drop of a hat and still like it! You can make it into exactly what YOU want it to be for your characters and not have to worry about the after affects. _

_Thanks again, everyone, and for the final time I'll say…_

_HAVE AN AWESOME LIFE! _

_TwilightFanGirl xoxo_


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